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Is it just a threat?
January 19, 2011
10:09 am
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beatrize
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I have a question. My eldest, who's 12, threatened to run away after a fight we had about his video gaming. A part of me says that it's empty talk, and my husband says he just said that because he's upset... but I'm concerned. Should I be?

January 20, 2011
12:44 pm
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6yroldkid
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January 20, 2011
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That is a tough question to answer as there have been a lot of parents who were caught unaware when their child ran off. But I do know that if the family members fight frequently, it often increase the risk that the child would run away. So if you scolded him frequently, he might make good on his threat.

January 20, 2011
2:56 pm
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Alise
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I recommend that you make time to be with him in a neutral place (take him out to lunch or something) and talk and connect. A child who threatens to run away is desiring to be heard. If you can make him feel heard, chances are he will lose interest in leaving.

January 20, 2011
3:24 pm
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Alise
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I recommend that you make time to be with him in a neutral place (take him out to lunch or something) and talk and connect. A child who threatens to run away is desiring to be heard. If you can make him feel heard, chances are he will lose interest in leaving.

January 20, 2011
6:50 pm
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yecharu
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You have to ascertain that situations at home are all right for the child.  Some children run away because they are being molested or they can't cope with their parent's divorce.

January 20, 2011
6:52 pm
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yecharu
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Alise said:

I recommend that you make time to be with him in a neutral place (take him out to lunch or something) and talk and connect. A child who threatens to run away is desiring to be heard. If you can make him feel heard, chances are he will lose interest in leaving.


Wouldn't that send the wrong signals??? It's like rewarding the behavior (threatening to run away) with something good (lunch outs). 

But I do agree with you that runaway children usually have issues or things they want to discuss but don't know how.

January 21, 2011
1:05 am
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XanaxDid
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January 21, 2011
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Another group of runaways have another reason altogether, they have a secret they don't want you to know.  It could be that the child is being bullied at school, or is getting poor grades.  Or he may be gay or pregnant.  If the child feels that you'd bring on hell if you knew, then he will run away.

January 21, 2011
9:42 pm
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Tommy45
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If it was one isolated incident, I don't think you should be too concerned. Most kids threaten to run away once or twice when they get really upset about something. If your son has been struggling for a while though, then I agree that there may be something deeper going on.

January 23, 2011
9:24 pm
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remembrance
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January 23, 2011
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Do you know that around 1 million children run away from home every year?  The average age is 16 years old, but there are younger children.

January 24, 2011
11:59 am
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dandelionsx
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January 24, 2011
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You should also be aware that transition periods in a child's life is also a good indicator of runaway behavior.  If you have just moved into a new neighborhood or he transferred to a new school, then he is more at risk to make good of his threat.

January 24, 2011
1:36 pm
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alvin
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I guess what they all are saying is that it's up to you to judge if it's an empty threat after all.  You are the one who knows your child, not us.

January 25, 2011
6:02 am
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ichsabel
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January 25, 2011
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I still say that it's best to be safe than worried and sorry.  But how do you take precautions if your child threatens to run away from home?

January 25, 2011
7:20 am
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julietroache
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January 25, 2011
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From my experience, you should NEVER disregard a threat, no matter what you think of it.  Listen to your child to see if there are problems that he's facing and help him cope with it.  You can also suggest for him or her to talk to another person, perhaps a relative or a friend.

January 26, 2011
6:34 am
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BabblingIdiot
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yecharu said:

Alise said:

I recommend that you make time to be with him in a neutral place (take him out to lunch or something) and talk and connect. A child who threatens to run away is desiring to be heard. If you can make him feel heard, chances are he will lose interest in leaving.


Wouldn't that send the wrong signals??? It's like rewarding the behavior (threatening to run away) with something good (lunch outs). 

But I do agree with you that runaway children usually have issues or things they want to discuss but don't know how.


I believe Alise has a point and the reason you would take them to a neutral place whether it be out to lunch or whatever is so that not only will he maintain his cool, you will also be less likely to explode in public. You definitely need to talk with him and then the only thing you can do is watch him for unusual behavior. Teen are unusual but they get a routine usually and you will know when something is wrong.

January 27, 2011
11:52 am
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hiddenobject
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January 21, 2011
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Maybe he is trying to test the limits. If he threatens to runaway do you think you should allow him to continue with video gaming or stand your ground?

November 19, 2011
2:31 am
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rohan5039
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Yeah it's a threat anyways, you should treat your children in good and soft manner, otherwise harshness and cruel type of behaviour of parents effects the child's brain and they became unstable and have wrong decisions that's all. Remember softness is in case sensitve.

January 4, 2014
1:30 am
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smicky125
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I  also guess what they all are saying is that it's up to you to judge if it's
an empty threat after all.  You are the one who knows your child, not
us..... 🙂

January 4, 2014
7:35 am
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It helps if you can work with your child on making a schedule with specific days and times for video games. You and your child should talk about what games they are allowed to play. If your child does not honor the limits of a video game playing schedule or acts out if you say no to purchasing a game then, take the game out of the home. If a child is not mature enough to handle a video game shedule or take no to an answer to a game a parent does not approve of then they are not ready to have one. If the video gaming is causing a child to threaten to harm themself or others then it's time to get mental health involved before the child carries out their threat. The fact that the child threatened to run away means they were thinking about it. At that point you cannot trust them. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

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