Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Please help, I suspect grandpa is abusing my grand-daughter
July 3, 2012
6:39 am
Avatar
alyssasoma
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
July 3, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Perhaps I am over-reacting but my 2 1/2 year old grand-daughter is displaying some very strange behavior that makes me suspicious of sexual abuse. I am German by birth, and probably have been raised much more liberal when it comes to nudity and some behaviors that might be considered being of a sexual nature here in the US. However, what I and my daughter have noticed is rather unusual even for us.

Before I get into this I need to explain the situation: my daughter is going through a divorce, she and her husband currently still share custody. Her still husband lives with his parents in a separate building on their land and leaves his daughter with them quite often, even during the night. The grand-parents live a very strange lifestyle. Grandma does not get up until about 11:00 in the morning even when the baby is there, never leaves the house for anything except for necessary Dr. visits and the weekly shopping trip. She is on meds for depression. They have no friends, but do not refuse visitors. Grand-pa used to abuse alcohol and drugs (still smokes pot on occasion), cheated on his wife and physically fought with his son. He is also very dominating in everything that concerns the household and family. The grand-parents have separate bedrooms and have not had any marital relations in a long time. These details have been divulged to my by my son-in-law.

My grand-daughter sleeps in the same room her grandpa sleeps in when she stays with them, and I suspect still in his bed, even though her own bed is in the same room. Grandpa basically takes care of the child when she is with them, including diaper changes. I usually see my grand-daughter once a week and keep her with me every second weekend, so changes in her behavior are quite evident to me.

Here is what I have noticed:

1. Diaper changes are always a struggle. She fights them with all her strength and when I finally am able to pin her down, she will just lay there with a blank stare in here eyes and let it happen. She won't even react when I try to talk to her. The only way she'll allow it without a fight is when I distract her with a drink or something else that is important to her.
2. My daughter mentioned that her behavior changes in the same way when she wants to wash her vaginal area and behind. She may be playing in the bathtub, but as soon as she tries to clean her there, she'll almost turn into a Zombie.
3. She is touching her vaginal area quite a bit lately and also makes Ken and Barbie kiss and lay on top of each-other often when she plays with them.
4. Just recently, while she was playing with her dolls that way she asked me if I wanted to help her make babies. (she is quite articulate for her age).
5. She does not like to be cuddled anymore and whenever this grandpa comes to pick her up she cries. She also refuses to let him kiss her.

I really don't want to open a can of worms and hate to accuse anyone of anything this horrible, but I have this feeling about the situation that I can't shake. My daughter is also suspicious but does not really know how to approach this. Her husband is totally in denial and any wrong-doing on his fathers part is out of the question. Since they both still share custody until the divorce hearing, she can't refuse to let her husband have the child when it is his turn. Also, I live almost two hours driving time away from them and am still working full-time, and can't always support her. So there are times when she needs the other grand-parents to watch her (they live in the same town she lives in).

I am desperate looking for advise, because I am so torn about what to do. As I mentioned, I don't want to accuse anyone of wrong-doings if it is all just my suspicion, but at the same time I can't even bear the thought of something this ugly happening to my grand-daughter. She is the only grand-child I will ever have.

Thank you for reading and hopefully for your advise.

September 24, 2012
8:47 pm
Avatar
ShiningLight
Admin
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That's terrifying but it's possible. The child is still very very young to have experienced that kind of abuse. At her age, she should be playing around with other kids and enjoying her life as a child. It might be best to submit your grandpa to a progressive counseling. He might be having some behavioral problems causing him to behave that way. To confirm if the child has been molested then have her checked up.

January 31, 2014
8:12 pm
Avatar
dedlih
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
January 29, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I sure hope you read this response so long after your cry for help. 

 

Yes, it's nearly 99% likely that your granddaughter is being sexually abused by someone. If not her grandfather, then surely someone.

Her behavior is all classically indicative of severe sexual trauma. All you have to do is report it to Child Protective Services or the police local to where she lives. Don't worry about what else YOU have to do. The state will pursue counseling with trained therapists with the child to determine what has happened. If the psychologist determine that sexual abuse did in fact occur, then the State will pursue the perpetrator; you don't have to. 

 

Don't back away, though. You DO have a responsibility to report. This baby girl is a future woman, wife and mother -- protecting her is the best way to show her that someone cares. This may be the beginning of a better road for her.  

 

I speak from experience.

Blessings to you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

October 1, 2014
2:45 am
Avatar
PDan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 38
Member Since:
September 22, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks for sharing dedlih your answer is really informative.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
34
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110914
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714200
Newest Members:
Striker1s, marcusz, Keara, Venn, Jolebio, loni89
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer