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My daughter says I touched her
July 9, 2012
2:30 am
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Helpless_Father
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July 9, 2012
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Here is the situation. My wife and I have been married over a year. We have a seven year old daughter, I'm the step dad but I don't go by that, she has never met her real father, he left before she was born.

My daughter is visting her mothers side of the family and I am overseas. She was eating with family and blurted out "My daddy touched me" or "My daddy made me touch him" but just out of no where, then when back to eating. Later she was talking to my wife on the phone and asked if myself, my wife and her could move to Texas when I get home. Then later in another conversation with my wife while she was being asked about what she said she started crying and saying that it was true. But it was something that last year. Not recently.

Now I am sure I haven't done anything, I have never raised a hand to her and I do the best I can to be her daddy from deployments. My concern is that someone has hurt her, my wife had a lot of boyfriends before we got together, she was a teen mom and wasn't around the best crowd.

Another concern of mine is that someone in her family is telling her to say this, some of my wifes relitives don't like me or the fact that we moved away because of my work.

Is this a memory of something that has happened and she is seeing me because I am the male figure in her life? Like a nightmare, I am afraid of her not trusting me or hating me. How do I fix this, I want to get her help and make sure she is okay.

My wife knows I wouldn't do anything like that, but she is still concerned, as am I because we know that it is guilty until proven innocent in cases like these.

July 9, 2012
10:39 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Dear Father,
there must be a child counselor or therapist that you and your wife could take your daughter to & determine where she is getting these words from. It could be a repressed memory or she could somehow be using those words to get a certain attention that she craves.

If you have never hurt her or touched her inappropriately in any way, you have nothing to fear. A good therapist might need to get to know your daughter very well before she/he can determine what is going on, but no matter what its really important that you do not let this slide and hope she will not repeat it.

Children should never ever be ignored. It is the highest form of abuse in my opinion. Also this is something that could really drive a wedge in all of your relations as a family unit.

Your wife might start to distrust you if it continues, the eternal family is already negative towards you.

I hope that your daughter did not have a negative experience outside of the home that she does not know how to talk about. Please get her to a child therapist and fast.

September 24, 2012
9:20 pm
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ShiningLight
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Oneday is right, your daughter might be having some behavioral problems outside your home so it's best to consult your counselor for that. This is the time that your child needs all the support and care from her parents and that includes you as the father. Talk it out with your wife and decide on what could be the best for your daugther's condition. Don't worry if you did nothing wrong. You just have to be strong and continue to be a good husband to your wife and a caring father to your kids.

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