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Is this classified as molestation?
December 5, 2011
5:01 pm
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BKNA13579
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December 5, 2011
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Hi!
This is really hard for me, because this is the first time I'll put it in writing, but try to bear with me.
I was in a musical over the summer that required me kissing another guy who was my lover in the show.  The issue was that he's 22 and I'm 15 (this isn't what I'm suggesting is the molestation since we both agreed to it) and it was going to be my first kiss.  After we did it for the first time I was traumatized enough, but things started getting bad. Being really inexperienced, I wanted to get to know him as a friend before being able to act in love with him on stage, so I let him drive me home from rehearsals sometimes and we would talk a lot at rehearsals and he liked to talk about the kisses in the show, and I always got really uncomfortable.  I told my mom and she just thought he was trying to make sure I wasn't uncomfortable.  Then he started texting me weirdly affectionate things and he even asked me on a date.
One day at rehearsal, he asked to go into another room to practice lines and I agreed.  He took me to the chorus room (far away from the stage, it was a high school theatre we used) but he didn't have his script or anything.  As soon as the door shut, he grabbed me into what I thought was a hug but he was kissing my neck...I pushed him and said "Woah, too close" or something like that and he just said "No. Stop, come here." and grabbed me again and feeling me and I started to freak out and his grip on me tightened and I was terrified but a cast mate came in and told us we had to go on stage and he just left.  Since then, I've had awful post traumatic stress just thinking about what could've happened, and since he was my first kiss (and we had to kiss a LOT...every day after that he tried to use tongue on stage and I was too scared to say anything) whenever I'm alone with a guy I start to want to cry and I leave immediately.  I carry a whistle everywhere I go, and I have this nagging anxiety and reoccuring nightmares. I don't know what to do. I'd never tell anybody because I could never face him in court if that's what it called for. He'd say that I was asking for it because I wanted to get to know him.  I feel so bad about myself.  Can someone please help me out?

May 28, 2012
12:12 am
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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BKNA13579,

 

It must have been uneasy for you since you are still young and you already experienced kissing from that very young age. The guy might have some feelings for you too that's why he is being intimate to you everytime and he can't just control his self. BUT you have to consider that you are still underage and you can't just conclude that it's really love between you two and everything will be fine. There are consequences awaiting when that incident (neck kissing) will happen again. Remember that men are always men and they usually behave according to their will and sense of satisfaction.

 

Is there a chance to discuss with the facilitators to remove any kissing scenes from the play? That way, it will be easy for you to move on and recover as well as he would also know his limitations as a guy. Or if others could have the opportunity to get your character? maybe some other girls who are mature and older than you would be better for that type of role.

 

If you still feel uncomfortable thinking if you are molested or not then it's time to talk it out with your parents and ask for professional help.

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