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Help! Possible Sexual Assult
April 6, 2015
6:55 am
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mickaylia
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April 6, 2015
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This is really hard for me to say. I spoke to some of my friends about it, but luckily they didn't have much advice. I would love for this to be proven false, but I have to deal with the fact that it may be true. I just need answers. 

When I was around 8/9 I had a friend named Danielle. She would come over my house after school everyday and we'd play games. As a kid I thought this was normal. Who the hell knows, maybe it is. The two of us would kiss each other on the lips and rub our bodies against each other. We pretended we had sex. This is something I'm completely ashamed of. Just talking about it right now makes my stomach churn. I also used to make my dolls pretend they were having sex. Around 1 1/2 months ago a strange question popped into my head 'have I ever been molested?' Does everyone have a point in their life where they think that? I'm not sure. Recently I had a dream where I was 6/7 and my mom came in my room. She was taking her shirt off and said 'shh don't tell'. in the dream I kept saying 'no mommy stop no'. I was a bit confused because even though i was younger my room was the way it is now ( it was completely different when i was younger ). But the dream could have been due to stress. My mom has always been touchy. I never really read into it because I had grown up with it. I think it's normal. She slaps my butt sometimes if we are joking around and she hugs me around my chest area. Every mom does these things to their child, right? It's not a sexual thing. She used to come into my room when I was getting changed, come into the bathroom when I was showering (The curtain is see through). She'd act as if nothing was wrong with that. My mom continued to do this until I was 14. I'm fifteen right now. Last year when i confronted her about being uncomfortable with the fact that she kept on coming into my room/the bathroom when I was naked she answered 'I'm your mother I've seen you naked before I don't get why it's a big deal.' 

My uncle has also weirded me out. My aunt said my mom used to call him a pervert. He's said inappropriate things on many occasions to me as well as other family members. I think my mom or uncle may have molested me. Like I stated before it may not be true. I'm hoping it's not. I just need answers because this thing, this secret is killing me. It's on my mind every single second. I want to talk to a therapist to see if maybe he/she can give me/help me find some answers. I'm afraid of being called a liar though. When I was talking to my friend Hannah about his she brought up a good point. I could say exactly what I'mm writing right now. All I'd be saying is the information I have and saying I just want answers if that's possible. I just want this whole thing to stop. If some of you have answers or any insight to this dilemma I would appreciate it. 

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