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Codependent yes or no?
May 28, 2011
7:15 am
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ABCDgoldfish
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May 28, 2011
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Here's the scoop in a nutshell (no pun intended..) I'm "engaged" to a guy six years younger than I am who is an artist/craftsman, lives in one of his two storage units, has no steady job, has a vehicle that needs a transmission, has a feral cat that he has tamed as his pet.  He works odd jobs and picks up money where he can.

He is friendly, charming, smokes pot, smokes cigarettes, doesn't drink, is into healthy eating, faith and is intelligent for the most part.  He's nice looking and all that goes with that.

I started dating him and soon found out that he has had a Russian girlfriend for 3 1/2 yrs who he adored, wrote to, spoke to everyday, and still communicates with.  This has been a raw spot for me but I continued to stay with him, pay his rent $750 here $500 there, pay his cellphone bill $40, buy groceries which he takes half of, buy him clothes (from Goodwill), buy shoes, socks and underwear, supplies like the salt he sells for $100 and stone, marble things like that, when we eat out, I pay, when we go on a trip, I pay.  He's driving my old car (I got a new one), I buy the gas some of the time, I pay insurance for my old car.....and I paid for his job interview recently which required a trip and a motel...now he may get a million dollar contract and I think he might dump me for "religious" reasons or "I'm too jealous" and "he's afraid I have too many issues..."

Am I  codependent?  Should I stick it out to see if I will be included in his life when his ship does  come in around the middle of June???

May 29, 2011
4:43 pm
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mustangmel
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May 24, 2011
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Get out now!   You are paying for too much and will soon resent it and hate him. I have been in this sitatuion = still am for the most part - paying and supporting someone and his kids that I "think I love" but think I am codependent.  Get out while you have a chance.  If you are paying for most everything and he is not contributing then he is using you. 

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