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These forums suck....
September 1, 2004
11:16 pm
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m3talc0re
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You people take crap too seriously. I may sound hostile, but I'm not trying to, it's just the way I talk.

After a while, you'll figure that out. And camer, just because he's been here a while does not make him right. Just try the forums and you'll see that they aren't that bad. I even created the testuser so that you have NO RISK in trying it.

September 1, 2004
11:24 pm
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CAMER
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m3....each of us has our own opinions....and that does not make
Silence wrong for what he says, or for even what I say....there is no right or wrong, just differences.............but YOU keep coming back arguing about it....I am done with this thread. Too much attacking, just lets get along!!! we all wont agree on everything...enough is enough!

September 1, 2004
11:32 pm
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m3talc0re
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No, silence IS wrong. Read what he said about changing forum software and those are not opinions. What I am stating are facts, not my opinions.

Another advantage of changing to ipboard is that word filtering can be activated. So if you don't like four letter words, it can be filtered out.

September 2, 2004
12:29 am
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lam
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m3talc0re,

I've read through this thread and was not going to put any of my valuable time or effort into responding...until I read your statement "You people take crap too seriously." Seeing as "you people" is a generally collective and inclusive phrase, I now feel pulled into this unfortunately negative thread.

Maybe people do take things seriously here and maybe that's because the people here have some serious issues to sort through. Maybe people have felt, as I did when I read the title of your thread, how can this be someone on this site writing that and some of the other things you have written? People come here to feel safe and supported, not attacked and judged. What qualifies you to wear the robe of justice and judge who tips the scales toward "taking crap too seriously," telling people their own valid opinions are WRONG, decide to push and badger people until they see it your way, and... "stfu?" How is "stfu" any way to try to effectively persuade someone to your point of view? I really hope you are not planning on going into business for yourself with that type of agressive and hostile sales approach. As I would think (hope?) you have learned here this evening, it does not work. It does seem strangely suspicious how forcefully you are pushing this idea onto people who have, in actuality, given you no measurable indication that they are at all interested in the "idea" your selling, let alone with the insulting and hostile approach you've taken.

You really need to let the whole conversation go; I agree completely with Silence - You've insulted the web site, you've insulted the designers, and you've apparently insulted some of the good, kind people who come here to read positive sharings and to gain insight into their own problems - which may actually be more serious and more important to them than changing the software of this forum is to you.

You may have had good intentions when you started this thread but you have shown consistently poor judgment in the language and the tone you have chosen to express your ideas and opinions. I can't for the life of me understand why you haven't dropped this conversation as you must plainly see what it has turned into.

I came here tonight to finally write MY story, to share with the people here that have already helped and comforted me but unfortunately, I do not feel comfortable to do that at this time. Some of my story has to do with a lifetime of dealing with someone who continuously and relentlessly tells you how WRONG you are (even in having an opinion or thought other than what his is), is judgmental, resorts to name calling and abusive language when he feels he's losing an "argument," beats others' opinions down with outright hostility so that all will conform to his way and his opinion, the RIGHT opinion and the RIGHT way to think.

I came here tonight to share; to look for some individuals who may be able to relate to all that I have been through in my life, for some comfort, to know that I'm not alone. Having read this thread first, I don't feel that I'm going to be able to accomplish what I set out to do for myself this evening or find what I'm reaching out for - NOT with all the negativity I feel from this thread. Maybe I will try another time, who knows at this point.

I really hope you can sit back, look at all that was written and just accept that it really should just stop here and now.

September 2, 2004
12:43 am
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Anonymous
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OK..Enough!!! Filter yourself out dude! I saw what you wrote on other threads...More bitching...Why don't you JSTFU? HUH Dude?
My apologies to all on this board, but (YAWN)...This dude is becoming a thorn in my side and we have neither the time nor the patience (speaking for myself) to deal with your crap...
So....Why don't you just get a life?????????
And if you don't like what I say, write a new thread to ME only..I'll be more than happy to take you on...
Comprende, dude???????
Think you can handle me? Give it your best shot...I'm ready

September 2, 2004
1:00 am
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easf
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I can't believe this...I thought I had found a place where people came together to help each other, who supported one another...this "conversation" sounds similiar to the conversations i had with my ex., a difference of opinion to start and ends up someone (him)saying "this is the way it should be because i said so". What does this thread have to do with allaboutcounseling? How can we deal with our pains when the people we go to for help are fighting amongst themselves? I don't understand. I thought everyone here was tired of argueing and doing what someone else thought they should do.

September 2, 2004
1:03 am
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lam
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I think most here would agree, Sunnygrl, that no apologies from YOU are necessary. I almost regret the time I invested writing my post, as I will never get it back to do something more useful, but thought this ridiculous situation needed to be adressed so that hopefully, this site can get back to what it's really here for. I think you speak for more than just yourself Sunny. 🙂 I hope to be able to read more of your usual posts rather than any of us having to waste our time, patience and energy on this individual. By the way Sunny, your posts make me smile to myself and make my day a little brighter. Thank you. 🙂 Take a deep breath with me and hope that it'll end here without anyone getting drawn back in.

September 2, 2004
1:04 am
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Anonymous
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lam..

I came here myself at a late hour to pour my heart out..And I feel the same way you do. I'm very saddened that we cannot post now because of all this, however I'm not taking back the words I just wrote to "him".. Needed to get a lot out tonight, but watched this thread all day and now he can get what he wants... Anyway, best to you.

Sunny

September 2, 2004
1:05 am
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Zinnie
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You know, I should not be posting on this, but since I'm up at midnight, in pain, and trying to make 600 pieces of candy for a wedding on Sunday. Here are some thoughts.

1. I do believe that originally the person that began this thread was talking about the technology, not the people, nor the content of the threads, boards or discussions.

2. Several people jumped to conclusions, and therefore it became another one of those threads of all jumping to defend their position - and yes, the fellow that started the thread - you jumped right in there too. Just re-read some of your posts, pretend that you are reading them, not the author of them. Think about it.

3. The SC jumped in and gave her two cents. Guess what, she has put lots of time, effort, her own money, and patience with ALL off us - myself included for once breaking a rule. She was polite about it.

4. Sometimes, a comment is just a comment.

5. Perhaps THIS entire thread of slinging might have been avoided had several things happened.

a) The original author perhaps should have contacted the SC via e-mail as she has asked us to do for things such as this.

b) Perhaps the thread could have been "named" better - something like "Have used other boards, which are easier/more user friendly - any thoughts?"

With that said...

Good-night.

Z.

September 2, 2004
1:10 am
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lam
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I'm sorry that you had to feel what I did here tonight, but I will come back another time to hopefully see you have the opportunity to pour your heart out and listen to you get your stuff out in a more positive setting. It was very unfortunate but I will come back to try again if you will? Best to you as well. Smile with me...I think I feel a little better already. 🙂

lam

September 2, 2004
1:15 am
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Anonymous
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lam...
I appreciate that from you. I also have been reading what you contribute here and admire you. I speak from my experience as well as my heart. And I do know trolls, spam, et all..Yes, a nice calm breath...
Have a great night!

easf: Hang with us! This situation is quite unusual.. Please, do not let this keep you from seeking help! Read some of the supportive threads here, not just this one. I think you will find a great group here, ready to help in any way we can!!

Sunny 🙂

September 2, 2004
1:22 am
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lam
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Yes, easf, it really is a great group of caring people here. They've already helped me with their generosity of sharing and they don't even realize how much. They all made me feel safe to say things I never say to anyone. Please stay and give it another shot?

Sunny, thank you for helping me end this on a positive note! A great nite to you too, maybe I can actually get some sleep now. 🙂 Thank you for the compliment, I've related and respected alot of what I've seen you post as well. Keep breathing....talk to you again.

lam

September 2, 2004
1:24 am
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Anonymous
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lam:
And to you also.. I'll be here!

Zinnie: As always, very insightful..I'm sorry you are in pain..I do know how you feel as I am too. Not just from life, from the same medical problem.. I'm praying for both of us...I won't say anymore, just know I feel your pain...
Hugs,
Sunny

September 2, 2004
1:59 am
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m3talc0re
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Okay, first off, I didn't use that as a sales approach because there is no fucking sales approach here!

I don't know how the fuck you think that I am trying to sell anything or make any profit off of this. I simply tried to let you know that there is better software out there now than these forum's current software and it would make things alot easier on everyone INCLUDING THE SITE ADMIN. Moderating the forums and insuring things went the way they are supposed to would be much easier with new forum software. And sunnygirl, you can kiss my fucking ass. You're fucking stuborn morons. silences "valid opinions" are not valid at all! They're fucking dead wrong. It's people like you that cause such delays in much needed technological evolution. Why are you so scared of such an insignificant change?! And you think your stupid fuck friend Silence is so fucking great, it's his fucking fault that this thread ended up so fucking bad right now. If you wanna bitch and say that's not true, SCROLL UP AND FUCKING READ TO HIS FIRST POST.

Just because you're having fucking problems DOES NOT mean that you can come here and fucking bitch at me. I've got plenty of my own fucking problems and I'm not bitching at you because of them. I'm bitching at you because you are fucking ignorant and your ignorance has led to arguments that should have not even started.

"These forums really do suck. Why don't they use like vBulletin, phpBB2, or Invision Power Board? They're much much better, I don't get it? Lol..." - Telling the site admin that there is better forum software out there that would be a good change from these.

"site coordinator,

vBulletin costs like $200 I think, but don't quote me on that. phpBB2 and Invision Power Board are actually free and quite good. The host I use (which is also a friend of mine) has Fantastico on his servers. Fantastico is an addon for cPanel that makes it really easy for anyone to install scripts, like those forums. All you have to do is fill in a few text feilds and hit start. As for hosting it, I'll have to talk to him about that... You mean just these forums right?

austinguy, thanks for clearing that up with everyone, they was gettin' mad at me, lol." - telling the site admin about vBulletin costing (which i wasn't going to by nor did I expect them to). And letting them know that the other two were free. Also explaining to them how easy it is now to set up forums.

I also gave him links to each forum software's sites so that he could go and check them out and see which he liked best. I was also going to talk to my friend that hosts me and see if maybe he could've hosted these forums for free. Or at least give him a better and cheaper hosting deal than what he is currently having to pay for. But no, you people have decided to completely fuck this thread over and turn it into hell. And how dare that stupid fuck call me a fucking spammer WHEN I'M TRYING TO FUCKING HELP THIS SITE. You fucking asshole, shut the fuck up, it's your fault this thread has gone to hell. I admit, I should've started this thread's name as something else, but at the time I didn't really care and I didn't intend for it to be like it is now. I was just curious as to why the forums havn't been upgraded to something better. WTF would you do if he decided to change the forums and one day you get here and they are ipboard? Would you shit a brick? Would you be so stuborn as to actually quit these forums simply because the site coordinator decided that he wanted an easier forum to manage? I am simply trying to make things easier for everyone and especially the site coordinator. If he did switch to my friend's hosting company, he wouldn't have to pay out of his ass to keep this site running. What he pays for three months here would probably cover a year of hosting with my friend.

September 2, 2004
4:37 am
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silence
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True. I am better at insulting myself. "stupid fuck" is too juvenile and commonplace. Call me a dirty sanchez lickin', rusty trombone playin', camel fist fucker. I'd have much more respect for something like that.

September 2, 2004
9:10 am
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Juanita
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May I remind everyone of all the grief and shit-slinging that went on with the Milo thread? Enough. This just feels like a big awful repeat!

Let's just call it quits here.

M3talcOre can contact the SC about site enhancements. It will be up to the SC what she wants to do.

Also - M3 - please, quit the foul language. There are many good people here who are willing to listen & help everyone. Foul language isn't necessary to communicate a thought, you can express your anger just as effectively with different words. Think of it as a challenge...

Enough argueing.

September 2, 2004
9:34 am
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Anonymous
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Everyones fault except M3's, according to him.Interesting.BTW, since you asked me to name a few errors, I'll be more than happy to indulge you. Correct: Stubborn
Incorrect: Stuborn. See what you wrote above.

Bye!!!

September 2, 2004
10:39 am
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site coordinator
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Hey everybody,

m3 wrote me in email, and I wrote him back. So I hope we can let this issue go some off the boards. Yes, there's a lot of attacks, defense, and swearing in this thread - - that means we all really have some strong feelings about this, and I'm at least glad for that. These boards do mean something, and they are special. It's 99.9% the people, but I like the programming too! It's a love affair for me! ok, not quite that far.

I do not post anyone's private emails, you can trust that folks. It is however less time consuming for me to paste my own response to m3, because it just speaks to where I'm at.

*******************

Thanks for working so hard to try to help the discussion boards, I do appreciate some of what you've said.

But first, can I please and kindly ask that you stop posting altogether on the threads about the discussion boards? Other stuff is fine, but for software, hosting, and forum issues, and other issues that involve the function of the site, I request that it's only done private in email. I hope the reason is now apparent. It's disruptive to the function of the boards. And I apologize also now that I don't have much time until late next week to really talk about this. I'll try to give you a synopsis of my thoughts.

About the price. I'm more concerned with customer service and trusting my ISP, and reducing potential for security breaches... that's why the site is hosted by people that I know well. These guys are just up the street from me, and they are the most professional, secure, and service oriented group that I could have dreamed to host with. My data and hardware are close to me, physically. I used to host in-house with my own server, and it took a lot of trust to give the site over to these guys. It is far too expensive to keep in house without hosting enough other sites to pay for it - - which we tried, but it became too much with our other day jobs.

Anyway, that's the price issue, so rest assured that price isn't going to make me change my ISP.

As for software, you're right in some aspects. The programming (I wouldn't call it software because it's hand-pecked logic in notepad), is rustic. It's old school. It does however allow me to customize it in any way I like. My possibilities are endless, HOWEVER, that brings me to my next point. At no time ever would I consider having people enter an email address. Even a fake one. It's too invasive to people who are hurting and needing an anonymous forum. Also, the simplicity of the boards lends itself to people in a way that is comforting. Less features means less confusion and less options, and thus more focus strictly on CONTENT and PEOPLE.

This doesn't mean I am not considering using other packaged software. I have considered it, and still am. You're not telling me anything I don't already know. These boards are becoming outdated, I do understand that. But with these kinds of software packages, not only are there price and set up issues but there can be back-doors that the people who built them know about - I don't want any tampering or loss of anonymity behind the scenes. There's also all of the old content posted over the years that would be non-transferable to a new system. I could choose to better customize and organize what I already have by doing more of my own programming. There's much to consider, and much planning, and I don't have much time between my other life obligations to devote. The boards right now are "ok", and I will continue to consider.

Well, I really do have to run, I wish I had more time to talk about this now but I hope it can wait until next week.

Take Care,
Site Coordinator

September 2, 2004
10:49 am
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Anonymous
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Thanks SC for your input.

I am now very dissapointed in the way the anger and the F word has been thrown around this thread.. M3 mainly. I won't be back to this thread. I am so sickened by the way it has all came about.

Bye

September 2, 2004
11:12 am
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fairy99
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Thank you SC.

I got a very bad flash back from the Milo thing and this one was going the same way. I think it's best we all let this one go.

On to more helpful and happier threads.

~~fairy~~

September 2, 2004
11:23 am
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m3talc0re
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twink, I am pissed because you're all defending that prick silence when he is wrong. Also, most of the time, I called the SC "they" or "them" becaue I did not know which sex they were. silence is dead wrong and what he is saying about forums is nothing but his own incorrect opinions, and yet you all stick with him and believe him, like he know SHIT about programming, web development, forums, etc...

And SunnyGirl, again, you can kiss my ass 😉 I doubt I will back at these forums simply because of this. If almost all of you who replied with such moronic posts to this, why the hell would I want to take advice from you? It's no wonder your lives are so fucked, you're ignorant and you don't know how to deal with shit. So once some moron does speak his ignorance, you all stick behind them and back them up because you are too scared to try anything new. As for you not wanting to enter in an email... yeah, I understand that, my grandparents are worried about that as well because they have no understanding of how any of it works. Entering an email is for security purposes only. It is not publicly displayed nor is ever given out to anyone.

I wouldn't have even given a shit if that stupid idiot silence wouldn't have called me a spammer. You know, I didn't notice this before, but your first post is called "thread capping" silence. If you don't know what that is, google it you moron.

September 2, 2004
11:40 am
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site coordinator
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Hey m3,

I am still kindly requesting that you take a break from this thread, and the other thread pertaining to these forums.

It used to be plainly stated in the guidelines that there be no attacks or defense, because an attack is about feelings, past experiences, difficulty communicating, etc (so why not talk about those items, rather than dishing it out as an attack - you don't hate these folks, so let's not present it that way). And, as used to be plainly stated in the guidelines, there's nothing to defend on these boards - we're all anonymous, so why the defense? These guidelines are now less explicitly stated, but still guidelines.

Folks let's let this issue go. If we really want to continue this discussion, I request that we discuss more about what "is" an attack, it's underlying causes (the emotional and psychological aspects) and reasons, and just talk about attack defense as a communication flaw in humans instead.

If not, I'll simply remove the thread and start asking individuals to take a break altogether from the boards.

September 2, 2004
11:56 am
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m3talc0re
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Fine, I wont "attack" but I will defend. I'm not going to sit here and listen to people rag on me and not say anything back to them.

As for the forums, I'm going to see if I can get rid of the email request all together and not have to enter it at all.

September 2, 2004
12:21 pm
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Anonymous
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SC,
Agreed. And thank you!

Sunnygrl

September 2, 2004
1:16 pm
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Anonymous
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Well..... Well.... Well....

Looks like the group is at it again. It looks like this group will attack anyone who has a differing opinion.

I noticed that the great Zinnie even weighed in on this one through her pain and candy making.

Silence....such language. Is that really appropriate?

Sunnygrl... you are not acting so Sunny now, are you?

As I thought, a bunch of sad sack complainers who make up stories of great tradgedy for dramatic emphasis. You clog this system for people like me who used to learn and grow from the "real" people on the site who are honest.

I pity you for not being able or willing to deal with your truth.

MILO

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