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Starry, Christine, Camer, Smiles and anyone else,...........
November 8, 2004
9:11 am
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Cactus
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Good Morning Everyone,
I hope everyone had a great weekend. I've got training all day but I'll be checking back periodically so drop me a line and I'll respond when I can.

Have a great day

-Cactus

November 8, 2004
9:18 am
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CAMER
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Cactus baby how are you! My weekend was good, have so many confused thoughts running thru my head. Was with my sweet man, and he took a nap on saturday...as i played on my computer...we went out Saturday nite and had fun. I still haven't had the
nerve to talk with him about how I feel with our differences that he
may be more "laid back" than me. He enjoys watching tv alot, and basically falling asleep in front of it...well yesterday, he took my by surprise, and when i was in the shower he ended up waxing my entire car, this took a few hours and the car looks brand new!! and now the
thoughts of he is nice, then he naps too much.....too many thoughts swirling in my mind...and i feel so codependent cuz i feel like i am trying to fix him.....but he is a nice guy!!!!!

ok Cactus, enough of me..how was your
weekend....start venting and writing away!!!

thanks for listening..((hugs from camer)))

November 8, 2004
9:20 am
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Anonymous
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Morning Cactus,

Have a great day!

Sunny

November 8, 2004
9:41 am
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Cactus
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Hey Girl,
It's really funny how like I've said before our lives (codependent lives) have been racked with so much drama that when we are placed in a "normal" situation we start disecting it apart and try to "fix something that might not nessasarily need fixing.

In regards to your "beau" if you don't mind asking how old is he? is he younger or older than you? Why haven't you talked with him yet? What are your reservations? The waxing of the car was very nice (something I would do). If you don't already know it men show their love for their partners by what they do for them not so much by what they say. I've always been a very athletic person and have always found it difficult finding women who can keep up with me. So its not uncommon for me to become bored or question why I am with women who are more domestic and less adventerous. Does it mean that I didn't care for them as much as the adventerous type, no it was just different.

I've loved all types of women and can't say that any of them fit into a specic mold. I don't have any preconsceived notion going into a relationship I just kinda see what develops. The problem with things now is that we as codependents have been awaken from a very deep sleep and we are looking somewhat for this "perfect relationship" that really doesn't exist. Sometimes we need to disengage our brains enough to just "be". I don't mean become a mindless scared drone I mean open ourselves up to the womders of a new thing without trying to analyze it to death.

Camer, when you talk with your guy "be honest" what have you got to lose. He's got one of two choice he could either accept or reject your observations. your choices at that point are rather clear cut don't you think.

Even nice guys need a tune-up and can use the assistance. We don't all come into relationships with an owners manual we make this crap up as we go the idea is to be as happy as you possibly can. Deal with his shortcomings in the relationship or learn to live with them. One or the other. What are your feelings?

-Cactus

November 8, 2004
9:43 am
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Cactus
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Hey Sunny,
Didn't know you were on babe. How are you? How was your weekend?
Give me the play by play.
-Cactus

November 8, 2004
9:51 am
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Hey Cactus....

Glad to hear from you this morning...
I had a good weekend.....kept busy with my house buying situation...went swimming, to church, and hung out with my mom. So, good. And being busy helped me not think of him. I actually think I am feeling better about my ex. I am just not thinking about him...and when I do, I block the thought and move on.

The weather here has been foggy all weekend..and it is getting cold.

My dad, who lives in MN goes in for heart surgery today, so I will be a bit nervous until I hear how it goes.
Plus, I have a funeral to attend...so my day is pretty filled.

Hey, did you talk to that girl at all?

Thanks for being here and being my friend.....Starry

November 8, 2004
10:02 am
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CAMER
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Cactus, you read my mind..and i do think i am looking for a "mr perfect" who just is not out there, cuz i know no body is perfect. The man I am dating is 39 years old,same age as me(i'm a few months younger) a very nice,
quiet man, keeps to himself, and is so
nice and maybe material wise and substance wise he tries to please me, but maybe i am looking for more mental pleasing..if that makes sense. And yes i will talk to him this week for sure about things, that way he will at least have a heads up to what I am really feeling....Now i know this may sound silly, but should we talk "over the phone" or in person...probably in person, I would think, but then again, maybe i am
overanalyzing all of this? And i
do need to just enjoy the time with him and not make such a big deal over stuff right now. I know, i love the chaos, been used to it for many years.
thanks so much for your input, and maybe i should lighten up just a lil!!

November 8, 2004
10:08 am
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Starry,

My thoughts are with you and I am hoping all goes well with your grandfather today! I well know how heart surgery is, I had it myself.
Thinking of you!

Cactus....Well, what should have been a great weekend ended up to be pretty stressful. I'm having some trouble in dealing with the abuse in my past (as a child) and I thought a romance was going ok but alas I dumped him! So..I drove back to OK and am nursing my wounds. But I'll be ok. Just really thinking about the innocence taken from me as a child by my brother no less and thought I had put it in the past but nope. It's still there! One has to wonder if we ever can put these issues to rest. Sigh... Whats new with you?

Sunny

November 8, 2004
10:18 am
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Hi Starry,
I'm glad to hear you had a good, busy weekend. I love the "peak" days I have regarding the ex because the "valleys" reallly suck. The weather here in AZ has been very rainy which has been a needed change. 80 degrees and above get really boring after awhile.

Sending best wishes for your fathers speedy recovery. Sorry you have to attend a funeral. Funerals always make me want to get in touch with ex girlfriends just to see how they are because you never want to have the most meanigful talk with them at their grave site.

I never heard from the girl but it's just as well I look at it as a sign from above that if I'm not important enough to return a phone call than I'm just not that important.

Have you heard from Christine? I don't feel like rifleing through numerous threads tracking her down I guess she'll contact us when she feels inclined. I gotta admit some times I like cracking her shell to expose the soft center. She's a very sweet person but sometimes she trys to be so matter of fact and hard. The thing I like most about her is that she reminds me alot of me and while I've never liked everything about myself I was always a work in progress and getting better all the time.

Write back soon I'll be leaving for training in about 1/2 an hour.

-Cactus

November 8, 2004
10:46 am
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Cactus
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Hey Gang,
I've got to go to training. I'll write back later.

Camer,

Talk to the beau face-to-face

Sunny,
I want to talk to you more about this situation. Sorry I have to leave right now just wanted you to know it's important to me and I'm not blowing you off.

Starry,
Talk to you in a little bit.

Talk to you all soon.

-Cactus

November 8, 2004
12:38 pm
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Hey Gang,
I'm on a break and the instructor opened his big mouth and said we could check our e-mail if we wanted "fool".

Sunny,
Sorry about cutting you short this a.m. Please explain to me about this past childhood experience (If you feel comfortable). My B.A. is in Psychology and I did an internship in various mental health facilities specializing in childhood abuses, incest, molestation, PTSD, etc, etc. So I'm telling you this just to put you at ease in divulging to me. If you want me to go to the Liberation Thread i'd be more than happy to.

-cactus

November 8, 2004
12:38 pm
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Cristine
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Hey all, just dropping in to say, "hey." Had a great weekend! The comedy club on Friday was a lot of fun. My friend Rowena and I picked up her male friend, and he was so sweet. I didn't open doors all night, and when the checks came for what we'd eaten, he handed the pen to me to use it first... very sweet. Just nice having a gentleman around. Yesterday, had fun with Ro and her daughter. Our kids had never met, and our daughters are the same age, in the same grade. We went to a movie, then did a "traveling" dinner and dessert... went to 2 restaurants for different appetizers, then to a different place for dessert. By the end of the night, the girls were the best of friends, and you wouldn't have guessed they had only known eachother for 6 hours!

The x bf is in the building today, but I'm not stressed. Too busy to care!

Gotta get back to the grindstone. I'm on a roll! :o) I'll check back in at the end of the day... WITH MY SHELL STILL INTACT, CACTUS!!!! :O)

November 8, 2004
12:45 pm
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art angel
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Starry,

I live in MN and I've had heart surgery (even though I'm only 22 🙂

Just thought I'd add that 🙂

Cactus, Camer, everyone else, hope your day is going great.

I'll be on later to talk!

love and hugs,

art angel

November 8, 2004
12:49 pm
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Cactus
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Hey Christine,
Glad to see that you and your "shell" had a great weekend. Also glad to see having the ex in the building isn't stressing you out. I know you think I've forgotten my last post. (the one you failed to respond to) If you don't want to respond to it that's cool but please advise me so I can drop it. As you can tell I try to respond to every post because no one wants to be ignored especially when they have a genuine concern for a person classified as a friend. Just being a pain.

-Cactus

November 8, 2004
12:52 pm
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Hi Art Angel,
How are you doing? How's your heart? Physically as well as emotonally.
I'll talk to you later. Gotta get back to training.

-Cactus

November 8, 2004
1:05 pm
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Cactus... you'll have to lead me to the thread. I lose my place here when I don't come for a while. Which thread did you post to me on, and I'll go check it. I usually don't come on on the weekends, so if it's from Friday on, I haven't been here.

November 8, 2004
1:16 pm
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kathygy
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Camer,

Talking to him in person would be much better communication wise I would think. The sooner you have this conversation the better you will feel.You are not doing him any favors by not being honest with him. He deserves to know how you feel and what your needs are.

November 8, 2004
1:28 pm
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CAMER
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Cactus, thanks for being the wonderful person that you are for personally responding back to me....and be sure to post about your weekend too!!! this is not a one way street!! lol!!!

November 8, 2004
3:10 pm
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Hi Cactus,

Thank you for caring and offering to listen and help. Are you going to be here this evening? Have you read the thread "My mother molested me"? Let me know and I might feel more comfortable talking about it on Libs.

Hugs,

Sunny

November 8, 2004
3:54 pm
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CAMER
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(((sunny))) i am so sorry for the painful memories you have, and I read your story on the other thread. I really don't know what to say, cuz this has never happened to me, but i do want you to know you are in my prayers and I am so glad you have a network of people here who can help you thru this as much as possible.

Love, camer

November 8, 2004
4:32 pm
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((((((((Camer))))))))

You are always here for me! Thank you sweetie!! I hope you are feeling better yourself or have had some time to start thinking about your dilemma.
Thinking of you too!!!

Love,

Sunny

November 8, 2004
6:24 pm
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Hi yall....The funeral went fine. The man who passed...a family friend was 88...had 65 wonderful years with his wife....

Art....my dads surgery is at the mayo clinic..so at least he is in good hands.

Cristine...so glad to see you on today...i feel like ive lost touch with you...how did the day go with your ex around....are you ok? any contact? let us know.

cactus....sweetie...how was your training..i always dreaded training...
i am still good....just busy, but will post more soon...it is kind of nice not to have any sad stuff to post about!!

love you all..

November 8, 2004
7:50 pm
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CAMER
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Hi Starry, sounds like your friend who was buried,being 88 had a nice long life. And I am glad you are fine now.

Now is your dad done with surgery yet???and I do hope he recovers ok.

Starry, how are you holding up with not talking with the ex???

my thoughts and prayers are with you.

(((hugs from camer))))

November 9, 2004
9:30 am
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Top o' the mornin' all!

I didn't even run into the x, Starry... I talked to him over the weekend, just so it wouldn't be awkward. I'm fine now. The more time I spent with him, the less I wanted him around. Guess I had to remind myself of that fact. Funny how we wax all sentimental when they aren't around, and the minute that we are around them for longer than a moment, we suddenly have a relapse of memory!

How is everyone doing today? I've got a lot to do today, but I'll be checking on.

Heya Cactus! How's AZ?

November 9, 2004
9:41 am
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Cactus
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Hey Christine,
Boy!! I like the way you sound. This is the Christine I know and love. AZ is great it's been rainy which has been a needed change. If you don't mind me asking what prompted the contact with the ex this weekend? Not meaning to get into your business and if you don't want to discuss that's okay just curious.

-Cactus

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