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severe mother-daughter conflict
September 28, 2004
12:11 am
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unwanted daughter
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I come from a ferociously dysfunctional family. My parents were both uneducated, Greeks that escaped Communism, the Turkish massacres of the mid 20th c.. Each found their own way here.

To escape, my mother migrated to America as a mail-order bride and luckily met my father to get her away from her first husband - according to her description - a fat nasty wealthy man who payed no attention to her and his relations were trying to kill her.

I am oversimplifying my narrations in the interest of brievity (yet it's still a long complicated story).

We are two siblings in the family. I am the eldest - a female, a Daddy's girl who was always by Dad's side in business and cooperation, though it was clear Dad loved my mother very much and always listened to her. And I was busy living my life anyway. I ran away from home - from my mother's abuse as a 17 yr old, got a job, married,divorced and remarried. I got cancer and lost my chance to have children, so I am alone. TGhroughout my life I hd remained in charge of everything in handling my family's business - a mediumsize corporation, their medical situations, and whatever they needed. I would move onto a cot next to their bed in the hospital when either parent was admitted...

My brother, two years younger than me, has always been and remains the apple of my mother's eye, and quite layed back -living off and spending my whatever family money he found a way to get into my father's business accounts. He is a very creative con.

I've never felt loved by my mother - who I believe is my natural mother. I would tell her this all my life but she's brush me off, hug me, wipe away my tears and tell me I was being silly. I recall the empty feeling even after any of that. I had always noticed my brother could do no wrong in her eyes and never got a tongue lashing, much less the type of beatings I would get. Once I received 32 stiches on my scalp and 15 on my face. My black and blue legs was a common site.
I look like my father's side of the family so I know I am his kid.

My brother has never left home, and still lives with mother at 47 years of age, and I imagine takes the opportunity to manipulate her 84 year old mind as well, although I know she's never loved me. His biggest achievements in life has been the massive amounts of government school grants he took as a professional student since 1976. He would drop the course and keep the money after he received it.

On the other hand, the more successful I'd be, the more my mother found to criticize about me. She never paid me compliments, my gifts to her - she said she accepted only expensive jewelry - seemed only a means to lighten my waller. And, last but not least, she has abused me all my life with unforgettable physical beatings that have scarred my soul eternally.

Recently, I received the biggest blow she's ever doled out. My father, my biggest support in this very dysfunctional family, died a few years back leaving a trust naming his wife - mother of his two children, the trustee. She cleaned the trust out by Quit Claiming all trust property to my brother. I have been left nothing. And days before my father died, she had withdrawn all the cash out of their joint accounts and openend accounts behind my back in her name and my brother's. Looking back, I can't believe she complained her money was unavailable and asked me to pay for half of my father's funeral $12,000.00.

I am 49 now. I have never been so affected by anyone in my life. She has been a constant thorn in my life, but not as much as she has shown to be after my father's passing. I constantly cry. I am so hurt, the pain is indescribable.

I don't know how I get past all this dirt in my life. I have been thinking thoughts of ending my life lately. That's how bad I have been affected.

October 3, 2004
2:38 pm
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Reclaiming Boundaries
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Dear Woman,

I am sad that you've had such a painful life. I am sad that your mohter has treated you so abusively for so long. I am crying as I write to you because I am feeling a tiny bit of your pain.

Please do not end your life, I beg you. Please choose to live live. There are brighter days ahead for you. Even though the pain is unbearable, there is comfort from me and others who value your life. There is comfort from God who has cried His tears over your pain.

It would be worthwhile for you to seek a good therapist who would help you to express the pain, so it isn't all continuing to build up inside you.

Brighter days are ahead. It was wicked of your mom to swindle you out of your inheritance. You can scream and cry from the pain when you need to, and God will bring the comfort which will be healing to your soul...

October 3, 2004
4:44 pm
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brownie
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September 24, 2010
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BROWNIE
03-OCT-04

UNWANTED DAUGHTER,I WAS HOPING TO HAVE HEARD FROM YOU BY NOW.I HAD WANTED YOU TO READ MY SIMILIAR EXPERIENCES THAT I HAD,SO YOU WON'T WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND ALSO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO FEEL ALONE.MY EXPERIENCE AND OTHER PEOPLES EXPERIENCES WOULD HAVE SHOWN YOU THAT THERE IS MORE TO LIFE AND THAT THERE IS HOPE.GOD IS HOPE.HE CAN MAKE ALL THINGS POSSIBLE IN YOUR LIFE.ANYTHING THAT YOU ASK HIM,HE WILL ANSWER YOU BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE FAITH.HE LOVES US SO MUCH THAT HE WOULD NOT WANT FOR YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR LIFE.SO PLEASE PLEASE RESPOND!!!!!THERAPY WORKS TALKING TO US WORKS.YOU ARE LOVED FOR REAL.

October 5, 2004
9:33 pm
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unwanted daughter
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To Reclaiming Boundaries,

I must have clicked twice on my original post so there are two copies of my post. I wanted you to know I've responded, at the other link - of which I am not allowed to post here in. But you can find it by doing a search at the board for

mother-daughter

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