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relapse frustration/anger
January 3, 2003
5:54 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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My husband who was a "recovering" crack addict relapsed last night for the first time and although I have attended Al Anon for the past 6 months, I was not able to keep my cool. Although I didn't go right back to my pre Al Anon behavior I was close to it, I did attack him verbally, but was able to stop before really letting him have it. I would like to throw him out of the house but don't have the courage; I let that threat dangle over his head knowing it worries him because I'm angry at him.

I understand the "illness" concept but I was unable to control my anger and hurt and that makes me angry with myself.

He was and assume still is in complete denial; I did not react or respond as I hoped I would behaving almost like I did during my pre Al Anon days.

Anyone out there who can relate to my "first relapse reaction", please give me a hand---thanks!!

January 6, 2003
12:50 am
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Anonymous
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Oh sweetie, I hear you! If you can feel a hug from afar - here's a big one for you! It is so hard when our loved ones relapse.

I know when my husband relapsed that I thought it was all me - I wasn't doing something, anything right! This was even after beginning Al-Anon and knowing better! And let me tell you - I freaked! All of the tidbits I had picked up from Al-Anon went out the window and I lost it. That's okay though - we're not perfect. Don't beat up on yourself if you don't react how you wish in all circumstances. It hurts when they relapse.

My biggest mistake was taking him back after a relapse before he was working a solid program. That was my fault - as I see it today, but that was also the only thing I had the strength to do at the time.

He is currently away, living in a recovery house and doing wonderfully. I am praying for growth and rebuilding in our marriage.

It's hard work, and scary work. Keep with Al-Anon - I know it's been my personal lifeline!

Keep your head up - and remember - Just for Today! One Day at a Time (and sometimes one second at a time). You'll be okay.

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