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Kasie-Please Read
December 19, 2005
12:08 pm
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overcome
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Kasie,

YOU ARE NOT STUPID. I am sorry I was so blunt before. I think that you are in a fragile state. You need to stick to what is best for you! Don't be so indecisive! You know you need to leave, but yet you are afraid to leave....perhaps the unkown, perhaps fear you will never meet anyone else...perhaps low self-esteem and you think that this is the best your life will be.

Well, you can have anything you want in life if you harness your fear and let it motivate you. You deserve better. I want you to make the right decision and I PROMISE I WILL HELP YOU AS MUCH AS I CAN THROUGH THIS SITE. You have my word.

But, on the other hand, if you stay and keep doing the same old thing, you can expect nothing more than the same......remember, violence escalates-things will get much worse instead of better. He is a control person. He gets off controlling you, manipulating you, exploiting your weaknesses.

It is time to develop thick skin and take charge of your life! YOU CAN DO IT!!

December 19, 2005
12:13 pm
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overcome
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Kasie,

You are my new friend. I am going to help you.....probably piss you off and all that.....but I am going to be here for you.

You need a good cyber kick in the ass to get you started.

/ /
/ /
/ /
( ----------)
( )
( ) **BOOM**
--------------------)

Did that hurt? Sorry. But I hope it kicks you into gear!

December 19, 2005
1:27 pm
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Kasie,

I don't know what all has transpired with you and OC; I am responding to this from the post you wrote, that OC referred to.

OC is right, you can't keep doing the same old things, the result will be, and has been the same, and IMO could get worse. As the disrespect continues, emotions will escalate.

I also agree with OC to use fear to motivate you, not let it paralyze you and have you shut down.

I pray that you will get to the place that you will fear being with him more than you fear being without him. Because that is the truth. And the truth will set you free...

December 19, 2005
3:08 pm
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kasie919
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OVERCOME:

Thank you ever so much:

I cant tell you how much it meant to me to see your thread, I read it fell apart and left the site to gather my emotions, I have made a call to get help, im in to deep, this really hurts,
I am not going to leave my son alone here to be raised like his father, i promis you that..
I know you were only trying the tough love on me, and it hurt it really did, you made me think about my life and i took offense instead of trying to work it out with you..
I cant tell you how i feel right now, only that ive been crying since ive read this, went to take a hot shower, made the phone call, made my sons lunch and fell apart again..
I cant ask you to understand ,my being and its not fair since you have your own issues, i only came here to maybe try and get some insight and do this on my own..
I dont think I can and I dont know what more I can do..
I have never cried so much in my life, ive never fallen apart because i want to stay strong for my son..
Ive locked the door so he cant see me cry..
Im safe and hes safe so dont worry about that, Ive told you, my mother had committed suicide and i refuse to leave my children like that..
But I am scaired I am on the verge of a breakdown, Ive explained to the doctor i dont have a car today, so tomorrow i will be going for help, they have given me a phone number to call if i feel desperate..
I think its hardest on me now because im so far away from my frineds and what i have for family.
I relied on this site bcause i felt some what understood, mama C helped me so much and others really can make you feel good when you are so down.
My heart truly aches right now because of how i feel.

I cant ask you to understand why i have remained in this marriage, all i can do is tell you why i am here,
I know you think it should be easy to walk out the door, but its not, i dont know why, maybe insecurity, fear of being alone, or just plain scaired. It could be any of those.
As far as being abused, it goes back way before my first marriage and i am sure it goes into my childhood..
I know these look as if they are excuses to you, but its not an excuse, its what pains me so.
My heart truly aches, I have pure hatred for myself, I have no self esteem, that went years ago..

talk about feeling naked:

i have given you more than ony one..

So my new found friend,
what is it you suggest other than kicking my ass, because i think its been kicked enough..........

Again, thank you,
I am truly sorry for having words with you yesterday..

Kasie

December 19, 2005
3:47 pm
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overcome
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Well, first Kasie, if we are going to be friends (which we are going to be), you will stop with all this hating yourself.

You are going to pick yourself up and you are going to be strong and fine.

I am here to talk. I am very sorry for the way I treated you also.

Now, remember that you are not your mother. You are not going to harm yourself.

Can you tell me why if you left you could not take your son? I am not understanding that.

I will end with telling you just in the little bit I have read of your posts that you are a kind and intelligent human being. With that, you are very valuable....especially to all these people that you help here on this board.

December 19, 2005
4:01 pm
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kasie919
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When I filed for divorce back in may it was horrible,
I wish i had known about this site then because it surley would have helped..
My husband did everything he could to lower all my chances of custody, In the state i was living in they use the shared 1/2 and 1/2 time with the paretns, i felt that my husband was not qualified to do this, since he calls my son a "pussy" a "moma's Boy" a sissy, and other fopwl words"
ther is more to it than the name calling and what not,but you get it, the violence got way intence,during those months, from accusing me of having an affair with my boss, someone on the net, who happened to be a pen pal, and to being with my best friend, who is a guy..
Nothing ever happened it is his guilt leading him to conclusions on my filing for divorce..
He got dirty, he supoened my daughter, my fahter and a police officer that was involved all te times i called for help..
I did get a pfa..it was only temporary, it has a story of its own, i happen to have a lawyer that prefered to be nice instead of a prick. Like i wanted..
He was out of the house 2 weeks, I out it up for sale, being it was in my name, nad that set him into a fury, calling everyone under the sun to turn against me..
the date came we were suppose to go in to have the pfa final, both attorneys did not comply with the courts to make a final agreement, the charges got dropped, i got an ass chewin from the judge and he got nothing, but his rights to my house back..
he showed up that night told me he was moving back in, if i tried to leave hed burn the house down with me and my kids in it..
What would you do??
OH.. and by the way.. I called the police, they came out talked to him.. and told me if i felt threatend to leave..
Catch22 was if i leave he gets the house,the car, the kids, and i get nothing but a big expensive lawyer bill...

I got the i promis i will never....
blah blah blah.................

if we move out here it will be good for us i promise...
I will change you will see.......

yeh Im seeing now...

Im seeing how much of an asshole I really am...

December 19, 2005
4:07 pm
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overcome
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Kasie,

you are not an asshole...he is the asshole. He sounds like the pussy to me. I wish I could come there and kick his teeth in. I would enjoy it.

I am here for you. Perhaps just leave the state with the kid when he is not there. Leave a note and go stay with family. NO COURT IN AMERICA WILL FAULT YOU IF YOU FEEL YOU OR YOUR CHILD'S LIFE IS IN DANGER.

Whatever you decide, I am here to listen and try to give advice, as best I can.

Kasie, listen you yourself...follow your guts, your instincts. They are seldom wrong!

December 19, 2005
4:09 pm
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kasie919
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Overcome:

One other thing,
Now that i have moved, i no longer own my house, sold it, so thats not a loss any more..
Im not a material person dont want you to specualte that,

what it is if I leave he always threatens to take him and i will never see him..
again..
I cannot misjudge him he will and can act onthose things
it may benefit me now in another state, only i have to wait until after january to file, unless i can convince my old attorney to help me with out paying a million and a half

December 19, 2005
4:12 pm
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kasie919
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well if i disapear than im the one who in the end goes to jail..

Im going to stay strong, ive had fal backs, i know i can do some things, just need support..

Ill be ok.

it just gets hard at times..

You know how it is you have kids..

not to open sore wounds..

I feel your pain..
Now you know im on your side ok?

Thanks overcome:
Much love,
Kasie

December 19, 2005
4:13 pm
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overcome
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Kasie,

I am going to tell you something: when mylife was at its absolute worst. I left my cheating wife, had nowhere to live. I was staying in an Econo Lodge half the time and my brother's couch the other half. I wanted to give up....but I did not.

Just like the phoenix that had risen from the ashes, a strong person will always outlast difficult times and rise again.

I tattooed the symbol of the phoenix on my arm and I look at it anytime I feel I am down. As my friend, I offer the phoenix to you....obviously only a cyber version. But when you are down, think of the phoenix and how it will always rise again and think of yourself rising over all of this turmoil. It will happen!

December 19, 2005
4:14 pm
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overcome
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God, now my mean streak is gone. I was so enjoying pissing everyone off......thanks a lot Kasie!! LOL

December 19, 2005
4:18 pm
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kasie919
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Oh thats one thing you didnt know about me huh??

I can calm you!!!!

Thanks, I take the Phoneix with honor..

Im glad your not mad any more, i liked the old you.. told you so...

(((((BIG HUGS))))))

lots of kisses, place em on your heart, thanks

December 19, 2005
4:20 pm
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kasie919
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I could go home and tough it out, id have to talk to my old boss, maybe get my old job back,
Stay with friends, im sure..
Im may think on that one...
I just dread going alll the way back..

December 19, 2005
4:24 pm
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babyblu
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kassi pray for courage and wisdom try not to be hasty your husband is a clever man and will make alot of trouble for you regarding your son. be carefull with your decissions. in such hard times mentally and emotionally get rest eat well and seek sound legal advice

December 19, 2005
4:28 pm
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kasie919
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babyblu:

I am well to aware of those issues and thank you, ive got my head out from my but now so i wont act in haste

December 19, 2005
4:32 pm
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kasie919
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Overcome

Just was thinking, i wasnt sure you read this late last night, I wanted you to know i did send this.

Overcome:

I just read your response on the other thread,

First of all: IM sorry for being cruel to you and for the words i have said, I was just upset because of how you addressed me..

We are no different, only you are a man and I am a woman..

Im sorry your wife has cause you such grief and pain, i wish i could take it all away.. Im not sure why people have to use ther children to get back at there spouses.. YOu are not alone in this..

But i can tell you, that from my personal expierence that your children will come around to you, dont worry, be a good dad to them as im sure you are doing at your best. Love them unconditionally, they are all that matters.. I know that you cant see peace now, but you will, I have been in the same situation as you, my ex best friend is married to my ex husband, they had 2 kids before we had even gotten divorced, i caught them in my bed!! I do know your pain..

But instead of inflicting it back on me, try talking to me about it, i can relate to some of your issues, truly,

I can assure you, I have never thought in a million years that i would be in the situation i am in, again and again, but its the people i chose and the reasons behind them, and its why i have to learn not to do it again..

My heart goes out to you, Im sorry, truly I am ..

Id hug you, but i dont want any ass grabbin..

have a good night. kasie

December 19, 2005
4:45 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Kasie:

I just got home.

Listen... you are not a resident of SC for another month and you still have time to finish your divorce in the other state. Can you find the money and have it done?

If you take your child and flea back to the other state that was your residence he cannot say your stole the child and ran away. The child is still legally a resident of the other state also. (NOTE: Please check this out w/ an attorney coz I could be wrong.. you are not in my state).

Kasie... you said you had someone to stay w/. In the other state? Then go for it. Flea back up there and get a Protection Order, go into hiding if you have to W/ your attorney knowing where you are so you are not in trouble.

With me on this? If you call the police they will come get you and take you to the women's shelter. Then you can gather your senses and resources and flee. Forget the material things. You and your son are what is important.

DO NOT fall into the depression I am hearing in your words. FLEE!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS...

December 19, 2005
4:48 pm
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kasie919
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I will send an email to my lawyer at once and find out, i will let you know,
thank you mama:

Im ok, i wont fall,i just tripped thats all..

I will be ok..

December 19, 2005
6:44 pm
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Overcome:

Wow~ I am impressed, amazed, in awe. What a change; what a great transfirmaton. I might even let you grab my azz one more time, but any more than that and my hubby will get upset. 🙂

Truthfully tho, I think you will be a great asset to this site being the new you. Very impressive. I like it(and you too). 🙂

December 19, 2005
6:58 pm
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mamacinnamon
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woops forgot the hug.... guess you are outta luck. lol

December 19, 2005
7:50 pm
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Overcome:

I just read the birthday wish. lol. I almost fell outta my chair and definitely blushed bigtime. Laughed so hard the kids wanted to see, but mama said NO. Thanks for the well wishes.

December 20, 2005
7:55 am
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kasie919
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Ok the lawyer is out of his office until after christmas, but he has a message saying he will be checking in, thats good, he will email me for sure!!
of course I owe him money!!
that will be his first question..

I thought last night that to drive from here wouldnt be so bad, i have no job and dont have to worry about how soon id have to be any where, so really if i found a safe haven no one would know right??

I did break down lasr night, my son is so excited about Santa, i just lost it..
My husbands answer:
Oh quit your bumbling, you made this mess!!
Yep i knew I did..
jackass

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