Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
ithinkimcodepencent
January 13, 2003
5:05 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i am 24 yrs old and from the age of 17 to the present i have been in 3 disasterious relationships, 2 meaningfull one not so meaningfull...guess by that i mean i was able to let him go...the first relation i was young and that whole deal...i ended up w/a child by him...he was an addict and an a**, with 3 other children whom i raised the entire time i was there...i decided i couldnt do it anymore....the second meaningfull relation i thought he was the one i wanted to marry him (thank god i didnt) he too had addictive behaviors and codependent behaviors...i am well aware that i am a codependent and i am trying to deal with it...i am trying to let go of him and i dont know how to even begin...i want to say that i need a distraction...i have one my daughter...i want to say i lost my job cause of him...i didnt i lost my job because of my actions and behaviors that i feel he brought on...either way i have lots of time (no job and i have detached from everyone except my daughter and my mother)I guess im asking if this is the best thing for me...detaching from everyone and soley focusing on myself and my daughter...cause i am lonley and i dont like to be alone and i am so close to falling back to habits and things that i know r not good and not right for me...

I would just like some feedback on how to start each day
how to finally take care of myself,love myself,i want to know how a recovered person truely did it. Im not a beliver in god so i really dont think a 12 step program is best for me...someone please help...before i fall into selfdistructive patterns and another devistating relationship

January 14, 2003
10:32 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi raynbow,
I am not a recovered person, just in the process of recovery.
I believe in a higher power, I use to be an atheist.
I work a twelve-step program because it helps me.
If you still want my opinions, let me know.

January 14, 2003
10:52 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i don't think you need to believe in god. What you have to do is read some books on codependency there not focused on god.
"Talk, feel and trust" is a book i just read and it changed me because i realized alot of what i was doing and why.
I lent it to a friend so i can't tell you right now who the aurthor is but i will get back to you about that.

January 14, 2003
6:22 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thank you all for your responses...i would not say that i am an athiest but i struggle alot with beleiving in god...sometimes i think it would help if i believed and sometimes i feel that the only thing i should beleive and have faith in is me.

On a lighter note i have an app. tomarrow to try to enroll in "jobcorps" its like a trade school except its free and i may be able to have my daughter with me...i hope i get in cause i think it will be a huge step in the direction of loving and taking care of myself...and doing something major for myself šŸ™‚

also i had a little moment of insperation last night and it goes something like this "Remember how good it felt to give your all to everyone else....IMAGINE how GREAT it will feel to give your all to YOURSELF" this little quote or whatever u wanna call it hangs on my dresser mirror i will be looking at it at least 2wice a day....when i wake up and when i go to sleep...i hope it helps others too šŸ™‚

By the way mj i am always willing to recieve insperation and support from anyone i do not descriminate race, creed, religion...please feel free to give your opinions...i will take them all

January 15, 2003
4:15 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have detached a lot these past couple years because of two bad relationships where I lost trust in humanity. I think initially that it is good to take a step back and analyze where the problem lies, but not forgetting that reality is still alive and kicking. You had a few bad relationships where a lot of things went wrong, that's ok. We all go through something like that, it's what we do afterwards that distinguishes us from each other. Use that knowledge you have gained from the previous relationships and grow with that. That man may have brought out a bad side of you that eventually got you fired, you know that now and can look for that in the future.... You are doing wonderfully! Taking care of your child is a good thing and if you feel like you need to detach from society to concentrate on your daughter, then that's what you need to do! Good luck with finding a job that cares for the needs of your child!! šŸ™‚

January 16, 2003
9:54 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi raynbow,
How did the jobcorp appointment go?

I start my day with reading meditations from 5 different books.
They are positive thoughts and thought provoking. Sometimes I say a prayer"Thank you, help me to do thy will, not mine."
Then I continue on with taking each step at a time.....focusing on the task ahead of me.

January 16, 2003
5:47 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

well i fell back a step or two...my ex...the one i feel got me fired...whom i still love with all my heart called the night before my jobcorp app. i went and spent the night with him...cause he asked...now i am trying to get ahold of him to tell him how jobcorps went and i cant seem to get ahold of him...i feel very cheap and used..NOT A GOOD THING for me.

Also i cant get into job corps because i have an open court case...which by the way is a charge caused by my little mishap that got me fired from my job...so i feel pretty worthless to myself...maybe not worthless but disappointed and discussted...all i want to do is get my life on track for me and my daughter and it seems my past and my problems keep getting in the way...

i feel very foolish for not saying no to my ex when he asked me to come see him...so many things r running though my head...he just wanted a peice...maybe he really did miss me and is scared just like me to take it any further...what if he has spent the last 2 days with some other signifigant female...maybe he was just sleeping the whole time...which is what he probly was doing or will tell me he was doing....i just dont know....

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
32
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer