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I am 17, and test said POSTIVE
March 24, 2008
7:06 pm
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gettingready
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I am 17 yrs old, and I just found out I am pregnant. I am 6 weeks along. According to many internet sites, my date of conception was February 25th. February 25th, was me and my boyfriends 6 months of dating. Tomorrow (3-25-08) will be our 7 months. My parents know that I am expecting, but no one else knows. I am very scared and very nervous. I will get to go get my first ultra sound once I am 14 weeks along. This will be my first child. My mom said to make sure I don't get too attached cause many people have lost their baby mostly during their first trimester. I want to get through the first trimester so bad right now. But i still have 8 weeks left of it. I'm not really showing yet. But I do feel some symptoms. The internet says most people get morning sickness their 6 weeks in, which means if I do have morning sickness, then I will have it this week, or the following weeks. I was not TTC, so this is a big suprise. My boyfriends mom did NOT take it well AT ALL. His dad was calm, but also dissapointed. My mom took it very well. She knew me and my boyfriends were sexually active, so I think that helped a bit. My step dad won't talk to me at all. My dad,... he's confusing, and plus he said he would be proud if we kept it or didn't and then he gave us this big lecture on ABORTION!!!! I was so made. I hated the idea of him even thinking about it and thinking it may be an option. ITS NOT. So far, me and my boyfriend so plan on keeping the baby... I hope to get alot of support from this site. I need it alot.
Thank You,
*GettingReady*

March 24, 2008
7:20 pm
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taj64
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I was 25 when I first got pregnant and I was not ready at 25. I cant imagine being pregnant at 17. You have your whole life ahead of you. It is big decision. You do need the support. It can be done, however it is not going to be easy. It is much much harder than ever imagined. The pregnancy is the easy part, the rest, well that is the rest of your life, and you will have to accept being an adult, making adult decision and having to accept being a parent too early. I would not recommendend it, not at 17 but it can be done. You are barely an adult. If you have support then you should be ok. I have a 16 year old daughter. Im telling her every time she walks out the door to use protection. We know mothers at 15 and 16 and she knows how it is for them. Her friend that dropped her off today had a baby at 15 and then another one at 16 and had an abortion inbetween that. She has two different fathers and she is not with either one of them. And now she is on her whatever how many boyfriends she has had. The last one she is serious with and the 2 year old ended up staying with an aunt for a month because she could not handle the responsibility of having two children and also a boyfriend. She dropped my daughter off today in a truck and neither of the kids were strapped in carseats. They are the cutest kids ever and here the mom is calling them brats and bad kids. When I was a new mom at 25 it was very hard work, a lot of responsibility and tired a lot. Think carefully. It already looks like you made the decision but from now on it is not fun and games and cutsy maternity shirts. it is for the long haul. really the easy part is the pregnancy. And a baby nowadays is very expensive. Think long and hard, be sure you have support. Also emotional support. at least you have that.

March 24, 2008
7:28 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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Getting Ready. 17!!! I was 29 and not really ready even though I went through 5 years of infertility. You need to face some cold hard facts. I applaud you that abortion is not an option, but I beg you to at least think about adoption. There are so very very many people who would love and cherish your baby and allow you to grow up some more and go to college. You might even want to look into something called open adoption. Good Luck.

Bitsy

March 24, 2008
8:44 pm
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gettingready
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open adoption is also not a choice. I wouldn't like the confusion the child will have. My boyfriend wants to keep the child, he and his mother does not want someone else raising the child.

March 24, 2008
8:45 pm
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gettingready
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ur comments felt non-supportive. I'm sorry but they didn't. Maybe this site was a bad idea.

March 24, 2008
8:52 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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you have a very adult decision to make. You whatever you decide will affect the rest of your life.

Maybe these comments feel nonsupportive right now but these are people who have been through what you are going throuogh right now. They know what you will face in the future.

Don't discard any options for now. Think of the baby and what will be best for him/her.

March 24, 2008
8:59 pm
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I looked into open adoption. It really is a good idea for all concerned and their is less of a chance the birth parents will come take the baby from the adoptive parents. The child also knows that the birth parents loved them enought to give them a better chance. I certainly don't mean to be no -supportive but I also don't think at 17 this is the celebration you think it is.

I confess that when my own child was about 18 or 20 months old she woke up every morning at 1:18 am. I will never forget those numbers on the digital clock. I was exhausted. Every mother knows that if you pat their hiney through their diaper it will get them to go back to sleep. One morning as I was hanging over the crib I realized I was patting just a little harder than normal. Certainly nothing bordering on child abuse. I was 30 years old and planned this child. You are 17 and this was un-planned. I just want you to weigh all your options. They only stay cute and malleable for a short amount of time. Then they develop little personalities that will try the patience of a saint no matter how much you love them.
How are you going to support you and the baby? Will you continue your education? Who will take care of the baby while you are in school? I am now 40. I work until 7 pm 5 nights a week. I have a wonderful ex-h, ex MIL and my father who all help me BUT IT IS STILL HARD. I just don't want you to look at this through rose colored glasses and think it is going to all be fun and games. How much support is the father and his parents willing to give you? How much are your parents willing to give you? Some parents/grandparents feel that they have raised their children and the new baby really isn't their resposibility.
Now that I have said my piece, I realize that as a pregnant woman you are hormonal, so go have a good cry and call Bitsy every bad name you can think of. When that is all over, consider what I have said. There are many great adoption agencies. Even one where the adoptive parents "apply" and write about themselves, make a scrapbook and basically audition to be your baby's parents. You get to pick them. At least consider it.

Bitsy

March 24, 2008
9:03 pm
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sad sack
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Sorry, for my ignorance, but what does TTC mean?

**************************************

I am sorry that you did not feel that the above comments were supportive. I disagree. Everyone has been honest with you and trying to help you see that there are many things you need to consider in this situation.

I wish you the best.

March 24, 2008
9:10 pm
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TTC: Trying To Conceive. It's this darn younger generation and all their text messaging 😉 (took me a minute to figure it out too.)

Bitsy

March 24, 2008
9:13 pm
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readytolearn
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You shouldn't make this decision if you feel like you need validation or support from outside yourself. It will not always be there. So make your decision on your own and make it based on your own feeling that YOU can do it whether or not ANYONE else agrees or supports you. If you still feel you need outside support financial, physical, mental. You might want to reconsider because it will not always be there.

I support your decision but at the same time, I am saying that through a computer screen and will not be there physically to help you through. You will need physical and financial support. You will need to stay focused and most of all have a sound mind and commitment to yourself and your child.

Having a baby is a wonderful growth experience for parent and child but we live in a society where children are not always cherished. That makes it difficult but not impossible to raise a child.
I had my daughter at 25 and I lived in the Carribean for the first 11 months of her life. Where I stayed people really loved children. It was a wonderful place to be a mother. When I returned to the US, I found it to be cold, hard, and more difficult to find any type of support, however, after having that experience I was still filled with joy and love for motherhood and my child.

I am saying all this to say that you can do it. But you will need to make this decision on your own, without wanting or needing other people to agree because they won't agree. They will challenge you and question you. Part of making an adult decision is having the ability to make a decision and live with the consequences.

March 24, 2008
9:14 pm
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gettingready
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I NEVER SAID THIS WAS A CELEBRATION BITSY! I never knew what TTC meant either, I had to look it up on the internet. They said it alot of times on pregnancy sites.

March 24, 2008
9:28 pm
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Anonymous
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gettingready,

I first pregnant at 15, due to a rape. I chose to have an abortion. That was and still is the hardest thing that I face SEVERAL years later. I wouldn't recommend it at all.

The second time I got pregnant was at 19. I was single, and the dad took off. I have a beautiful little girl. She is AWESOME. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I wasn't ready,I don't believe we are ever "READY" to have a baby. It is a choice, and I believe in you. I believe that you can do this. Will your life be more difficult, YES. YOu have something going for you that I didn't, a supportive mother.

Others will accept it in time, or not. That isn't something that you can control. Don't worry about that. You have enough to worry about.

Children are wonderful. Are you circumstances the best?? No, but whose are? Is it stressful?? Yes. But, I believe you can do it.

I hope that you continue to post here, despite the negativity about your choice. Nobody knows your situation. It doesn't matter. It is tough...but, I know it can be done.

I believe in you, and your ability. YOu seem determined. I feel blessed for you and your baby. I can appreciate your not giving that baby a death before it knew life. It takes far more courage to keep it and choose to be a good mom, than the weakness it takes to kill it. It is also far less painful. I have more than one child, and I love each and every one of them....with all that I have in me.

I would give the abortion back any day of this life, if I could let go of the pain that I carry knowing that I took a life.

I give you MUCH credit. Kudos to you.

Bless you AND that sweet baby growing inside of you. Take care of you both.

March 24, 2008
9:30 pm
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gettingready
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taj64, I rly liked ur post. WOW, I dont think i would ever let my daughter hang out with a girl like that.

March 24, 2008
9:36 pm
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gettingready
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Sweet Pea.. U just helped so much. You know the kind of support i was looking for and i thank you so much. I was just about to delete my account and give up on this site. But if there is more people like u on this site, I am going to love it here. That must have been hard for you. But I am sure God forgave you, and you were under hard circumstances, I think that was even harder than what i am in.

*gettingready*

March 24, 2008
9:44 pm
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Anonymous
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Don't give up on the site sweets.

Not everyone was negative. Concerned yes, but not negative. Just some.

I remember being where you are and looking for support. It is out there. You can find it. As I said, you have something that I never had, and that was my mother.

People here know the struggles of raising a baby. Yes, some of it is certainly harder with your age. Some of it will ALWAYS be hard.

YOu are determined...and I wish more people would have believed in me. I did alright. I think that I have seemed to raise some fairly decent children. Despite my circumstances. I haven't made all of the best choices, and that is ok. We learn.

It is a learning experience to become a mother, but a wonderful one at that. I have never appreciated anything more than my being a mother. That is the most pleasant thing that I have experienced in this life.

It is all a choice, and I am NOT telling you that it will be easy...but, I AM telling you that it can be done, and that I BELIEVE IN YOU.

(((((gettingready))))) That is a hug on this site....something I rarely do here. I haven't been posting here long, and I don't do it often. But, I am here for you...

Give me a hollar if you want to chat...

March 24, 2008
9:46 pm
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gettingready
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I talked to my boyfriend about financial support like most of you have mention. He told me many times that he is not going anywhere and that we have alot financial support support from his family, and my family. He said he would gladly work 2 jobs if i had to, to make ends meet. Just so we can take care of OUR baby. Me and him plan on getting engaged after the baby is born, and after he finishes college (and becomes a state patrol man), we will get married. My parents like him, so they have support in our decision, and we also have support from his parents too.

March 24, 2008
9:47 pm
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readytolearn
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Sweet Peas,
Yes, life is always a good choice.

gettingready,
People are reacting negatively because they don't want you to do anything that you would later regret. And, children are permanent. That's where I believe the negativity is coming from.

But, people who regret their children do so out of mental illness. Regret is a wasteful activity.

This is your life and your child.

I remember some advice I received when I was pregnant and my mother was not supportive. A older friend told me, if you act like your pregnancy is a problem.... people will treat you like you have a problem. If you act like you are ok then regardless of what they say, people will eventually treat you like it is ok. That might sound weird but you need to carry your shoulders high, love your child, and pray/work thru your difficulties when they arise (without worry) and you will be ok.

March 24, 2008
9:48 pm
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gettingready
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sorry, there were alot of mistakes in that entry...

I talked to my boyfriend about financial support like most of you have mention. He told me many times that he is not going anywhere and that we have alot financial support from his family, and my family. He said he would gladly work 2 jobs if he had to, to make ends meet. Just so we can take care of OUR baby. Me and him plan on getting engaged after the baby is born, and after he finishes college (and becomes a state patrol man), we will get married. My parents like him, so they have support in our decision, and we also have support from his parents too.

theres the fixed one

March 24, 2008
11:32 pm
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boxer18
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hey sarah how you doing? this site is nice thanks for telling me about it sweetie i love you roberto

March 25, 2008
1:27 am
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Linda Linda
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I never had a kid. But everyone I know who has says it was the greatest day of their lives. It sounds like you have a lot of support around you. We all would love to be ready to do the impossible. Well your about to do the impossible. YOu are about to have a child that will depend on you for every word that comes out of your mouth. Every thing you think and feel they will absorb as their own. You are about to have a very magical experience. And of course a very sleepless experience. Catch some zzzzs your in for the ride of your life.

March 25, 2008
5:08 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Getting ready, if you will go back and read what I wrote I commended you for abortion NOT being an option. I am anti abortion. I just wanted you to know there is another option to keeping the baby at 17. Having been on the other end of desperately wanting a baby and not being able to conceive I wish more young women in your situation would consider adoption before they considered abortion. I truly do wish you well.

Bitsy

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