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Hi - I am new! Looking for your thoughts.
August 26, 2002
10:26 am
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wantinghappiness
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Hello all. My husband and I recently began counseling - my doing - and our therapist thinks that I am codependent. At first I was not happy about that title. I didn't think that I was/am codependent at all. But to be honest, I wasn't sure what exactly it meant. I thought that codependent people were those in relationships with drug users and alcoholics, which I am not.

But I do try to control just about everything going on around me. I am what I like to call "mother hen". Looking out for everyone and often times not myself. Odviously by my screen name and for the fact that I am in counseling - you know that I am not happy. Could this codependency thing have something to do with it?

Our therapist told me to read "Codependent No More". I plan to pick it up this week. Is this a good idea?

I welcome any thoughts on my situation!

Thanks for listening! 🙂

August 26, 2002
2:06 pm
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Spud
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Welcome! I am sure there are very few people who want to consider themselves as codependent in the beginning. And I think whether or not you choose to identify yourself as codependent there are definitly some valuable lessons to be learned from reading "co-dependent no more". For me the book helped me realize that I really did have a problem with needing to control people in my life and basically haveing my life completly center on everyone else while neglecting myself and my needs.

You may want to check out the CODA webpage (http://www.codependents.org) for further readings on codependency and recovery.

Good luck.

August 27, 2002
2:08 am
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killapiller
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Hello, I am also new to this codependent title. I have done the reserch, and I fit it to a T. I read "Beyond Codependency" first, and am now working my way threw "Codependency No More" I am finding it very insightfull. Like you, I was taken back when a guy I was dating called me codependent. When my life hit rock bottom, and the counseler I am seeing told me to resurch it, I decided to give in. Now, I am so happy to know that there is something that I can work on to make my life better, and it is not a chemical imbalance.

Good luck with your journy.

August 29, 2002
1:15 pm
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tracylyn
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I've read pretty much all the books by Melody Beatty. She is very insiteful and I kept expecting to see a picture of myself when I turned the page because she had written a book about me. I have recently started reading another one by Robert Burney, the title is Codependency: Dance of the Wounded Soul. It is a very spiritual book about the subject and less technical than any others I have read. The author has his own website as well that is very helpful. Not sure that I can list it here but would be happy to share it with you somehow.

August 29, 2002
1:49 pm
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wantinghappiness
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Thank you all so much for your thoughts and suggestions! I hope to check them all out. I plan on starting "CoDependent No More" tonight and hope to get a bit more educated on the subject.

Good luck to everyone! I hope to be "speaking" with you all in the future.

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