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Going To The Big House!
October 9, 2004
8:08 am
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dire straits
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I do not relish the thought of being Big Mable's cell mate, who has tattooed her marker on my ass with a dirty shive:

biGMabLeS
beYoTch

But, I am afraid that I am going to make my mama cry if I don't get some help with my anger issues.

How do all of you manage life's little disappointments?

October 9, 2004
8:10 am
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dire straits
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Stepford Wife material i ain't

October 9, 2004
8:30 am
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eve
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For me an important step in coping with my anger was, to accept that I was angry sometimes. Sounds weird, but before that, when I got angry I immediately got afraid of my anger and what I would do and how it would make me feel, too. So instead of the anger I had anger, fear and apprehensivenes all together.

Now when I'm angry I try to focus on HOW I react, then on WHY I'm angry (this can be much later, usually easier and more helpful to think about it after), maybe then I can find a strategy to avoid the anger in the future, to find a better way to react (more control - shout instead of strike - talk in an icy voice instead of shout, take your anger to the correct person, not just at somebody who is a bystander, use your anger to identifiy the issues that you can work on). Conquered anger is a big step forward. Uncontrolled, wild anger is a fountain of fear, sorrow, guilt, violence and frustration.

October 9, 2004
10:57 am
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dire straits
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That sounds like the enlightened thinking of an upstanding Greek citizen. Rational,demure,and balanced.

...But, when I am provoked by certain elements in society...either verbally or/and with confrontational body language,I can become a psycho Harpie bitch from hades in a wink... You see, I have this snap-back emotional reflex to being confronted with undeserved disrespect.

I grew up in a war zone and among some of the lessons I took away was not to take ANY shit from men...or from anyone for that matter.

October 9, 2004
11:25 am
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Cici
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Sometimes our strength can be a weakness, if that makes any sense.

You grew up surviving.

Unfortunately, the behaviors that help us to survive don't necessarily help us to grow and thrive. It's more of a necessity, not the most advantageous way to be.

Sometimes we have to learn to ease out of survival mode.

Hell, I still have the worst issues.

October 9, 2004
1:00 pm
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dire straits
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I need help desperately regarding this rage. I have never denied this.

October 9, 2004
1:11 pm
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Anonymous
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So, what do you do when you go into a rage, DS?

Ren'ai

October 9, 2004
1:49 pm
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Ren'ai

I act foolishly mostly and get myself into trouble... I am NOT crazy...yet. I will give you a for instance...

I am a black woman and, whether this has any pejorative connection to the ratio of abusive, sexist, ignorant black jerks that I encounter on a daily basis in my environment,.. who is to say?? Margaret Mead, maybe? I just know that they light to me like flies to hot shit..

Anyhoos,...

I have been called a bitch,a dyke,a freak,etc.. on the street,in grocery stores,while driving;cut-off on the road and called names by passing black male drivers,etc..,etc...,ad nauseam;I am fair game for them wherever I am in the public domain....accosted without cause by these strange men...or given dirty looks and snickers(lmao...if they knew what I thought of THEM...they would not EVENbother to look in my direction, much less waste their breath on a comment...they have absolutely NOTHING coming from me).

My response to this abuse? Varies, depending on where I am at the time... Sometimes I flip them the finger and mouth, 'F**k you', while driving;sometimes I glare back, sometimes I tell them verbally in no uncertain terms what I think of them and their family of fleas and let the chips fall where they may.

October 9, 2004
3:37 pm
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dire straits
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oh yeah...and black guys, suffering from Tourette's Syndrome, I imagine, have blurted things out of the blue at me like, "I'mma gonna knock yo ass out!"

October 9, 2004
5:36 pm
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dire straits
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and once again I have this reoccurring nightmare of running and doing calisthenics outdoors in the prison work yard...me and my bunkie, Big Mable by my side...doing jumping jacks slow motion to the theme of,"A Love Story"... And then everything speeds up to normal time and Mable has left pot holes all over the lawn..

October 9, 2004
5:48 pm
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dire straits
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and ending it all is not the answer either..

folks who jump in front of trains, for instance, to kill themselves...that could never be me..

i could envision that now...'Ouch, ouch,ouch! I'm not dead YET!! Ouch, ouch,ouch,OUCH!!! [email protected][email protected][email protected]!!! I'm still not DEAD yet!!!

October 9, 2004
9:15 pm
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SweetAmanda
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wow

October 9, 2004
10:46 pm
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dire straits
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More Like It!

October 9, 2004
11:13 pm
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dire straits
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Brava!

October 10, 2004
9:11 am
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dire straits
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eh...whatever

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