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Fiancee cheating on me. The World Does not make sense.
August 13, 2009
9:35 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Hi Caraway,

You wrote:

"This isn't about you, or how things are sexually. This woman wants something else, someone else, and may crave the newness of a relationship."

Yes, that thought has crossed my mind.

It is, however, my way to take people at their word. And it is my way to be hopeful and try very hard to make serious relationships work.

August 14, 2009
12:42 am
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andii
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Why are you attempting to defend your actions wd?

"I'm not ready to let it go"

"I'm not ready to accept the reality of this"

"I'm not ready to see beyond my fantasy"

That's all cool wd. been there done that.

But you defend her actions and YOU are the one she hurt.

No need to defend her from anybody here. Nobody is attacking your queen. Everybody here is just loving YOU wd.

andii

August 14, 2009
1:02 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi andii,

I don't recall "defending" her except to say that people make mistakes.

And I consider hers to be a huge f-ing mistake, and it really confuses me, makes me sad, and pisses me off.

But I am going to take some time to get to the bottom of it, and see if things can be repaired.

I entertained letters from 2,241 women before she caught my eye. And I've invested years and a lot of emotional energy in the relationship--it's important to me.

And if it blows up in my face I will come back here weeping and wailing I'm sure.

For now, I am maintaining my composure by thinking happy thoughts!

August 14, 2009
1:05 am
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andii
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awe! wd that is so sweet. Unselfish. Rare.

I just wish this gal knew how lucky she is.

Is all.

I'm on your side. Just know that. I really am!

If it works, I'll throw a party. If it doesn't, I'll be one of many to help you through it.

(((wd)))

August 14, 2009
1:58 am
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Lillabit
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Im sorry if Im barging in here. I want to tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you. But ... how can you take her at her word when shes all ready been this dishonest to you? She just got caught is all and now shes telling you this stuff about your a wizard and she doesn't feel adequate? what? I dont understand what there is to slavage if she said she had decided not to marry you. she should have told you that and let you decide if you were going to be ok with an open relationship ... right?

August 14, 2009
2:05 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi Lillabit,

Don't worry about "intruding."

Her accusing me of being a "sexual wizard" happened before...everything went to shit.

"I dont understand what there is to slavage if she said she had decided not to marry you."

She says we might be able to fix that, and I want to try.

August 14, 2009
3:01 pm
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Lillabit
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I can understand your wanting to try. It's her dishonesty about the other men that bugs me ... but if it doen'st bug you and your willing to work on it, I hope it works out for you. A sexual wizard, eh? Hey may be we should hook up in Farm Town.

August 14, 2009
4:03 pm
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andii
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I say NEVER let a sexual wizard go!

What's Farm Town?

August 17, 2009
11:20 am
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Shaney
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HAHAHHAHA! Farm Town ....

August 17, 2009
3:25 pm
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andii
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Farm Town.....

Okay, I got it!

🙂

August 18, 2009
12:26 am
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CraigCo
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Farm town? ...hmm - nope, still aint gettin it.

August 18, 2009
12:27 am
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CraigCo
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WD,

Sup man?

August 18, 2009
12:43 am
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sdesigns
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Craig Co- I think its a game on Facebook.

sd

August 18, 2009
3:54 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hey guys.

Thanks so much for your support.

I am feeling great today--very hopeful.

I have a related story

I haven’t had a haircut for seventeen years. Partly, it’s because long hair is a traditional accessory for musicians. Partly, it’s because that is how my son remembers me. And mainly, it’s because once you get hair long enough to just pull back in a ponytail, maintenance is just to pull it back and tie it up.

My GF mentioned to me that she thought I would look better if I gave up the “Northwest Hippy look” and cut off my long hair.

And truthfully, I have lost enough hair in front and on top that the ponytail thing was just a mess.

So on Saturday morning, I went to a barber and had it all lopped off. I still have the ponytail and will mount it on a wooden plaque like a trophy.

Yes, I am still grieving, but now I look like a dignified middle aged guy.

Yes, I am aware of the dangers and silliness of allowing a lover to tell me how I ought to” wear my hair.

But in the larger scheme of things, my hairstyle is a very minor detail.

Besides, I’m getting lots of compliments on my new hairstyle, which feels great.

August 18, 2009
11:11 am
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StronginHim77
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The ponytail "dated" you...made you look older. I have a musician friend who faced the same dilemma. He had sported one for nearly three decades. Finally lopped it off and --I swear -- it took ten years off his appearance. (His hair was thinning on top and had turned grey.)

Definitely looks younger and better. I am willing to bet you do, too.

- Ma Strong

August 18, 2009
10:17 pm
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CraigCo
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WD,

I did the long hair thing myself years ago. Then I was mullet-boy until a few years a go myself. Same thing though, thinning on top & sides starting to turn silver. Twas time to loose the ol mop. It felt strange for some time afterward but I don't miss it anymore. Not sure if it added or subtracted any years from my appearance, but obviously the latter would be preferred.
As far as adjusted one's hair style for a significant other goes, I am of the same thinking - not a big deal to accomodate her in that way.

So, a fellow musician, are ya? What do you play, if I may ask? Haven't played a gig myself in almost 4 years now. Miss it though. Likely always will.

August 18, 2009
10:24 pm
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CraigCo
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sd,

A game on facebook, you say? And what kind of a game would that be I wonder & how would it tie in with sexual wizardry? or am I trying to make a connection that isn't even there? If so, well thatt wouldn't be the first time. heh-heh

August 18, 2009
11:57 pm
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Lillabit
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FarmTown is just a game that more than one person can play. You can private message the people you play with. If a sexual wizard came to my farm town we could hook up and he could wave his magic wand at me. maybe.

August 19, 2009
12:58 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi CraigCo,

When I was 29 years old, I moved to Seattle which at the time was kind of the center of the rock music universe.

I could already sing, but I took some lessons, taught myself some music theory, picked up some guitar, a little keyboards and blues harmonica.

Mostly I've been a lead singer/rhythm guitarist.

August 20, 2009
3:48 pm
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CraigCo
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Wd,

Ahh, so yer multi talented, then? You still playin on the side at all?

August 20, 2009
11:09 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Hi CraigCo,

I played a small gig this spring, and perform at the annual talent show, but I don't perform to speak of any more.

These days I am really into recording and producing music.

August 22, 2009
7:12 am
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CraigCo
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Nice! I've done some of that but it's been a year or two since then. Even more rewarding than performing live for drunks.

Need to get a home studio setup one of these days. Is that where you do your recording?

August 22, 2009
2:18 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Hi CraigCo,

Yes, I record at home.

A $150 M-Audio sound card plus Cubase software and I am basically Hi Fi at home.

August 23, 2009
4:55 pm
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CraigCo
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WD,

So, any new developments with the gf situation?

August 24, 2009
12:59 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Hi CraigCo,

My GF is much warmer towards me now, and says she feels hopeful about us and that my impending visit is "promising."

My sources inform me that my GF has changed how she is talking about me.

Before she seemed mad at me, had decided we were through, didn't want to sleep with me, etc.

Now she is going on about how lucky she is to have a guy like me--a guy who is sexually open, has stuck with her through hard times, is loving, devoted, generous, etc.

On Saturday I fly out and will spend three weeks with her.

If all goes according to plan she will be wearing a ring on her finger by the time I come back.

Or I could be a broken-hearted wreck when I come back.

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