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Explain co dependency
July 31, 2002
9:21 pm
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sandman
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Mossrose, I have no idea how you interpreted that as rude. Perhaps it's just another case of not seeing me face to face on this computer, not hearing my voice, or perhaps today's attitude of someone is always stepping on our toes.
If you think I was being rude, it was not my intention. As a matter of fact, I was thanking you for your explanation. It was brief and to the point and made more sense than all the psycho-babble, mumbo jumbo I've heard up until I found this website.With 2 sentences, you did clear it up for me. Is that so hard to believe?? I may be new here, have no idea what I need to write or how I need to write in order to be taken seriously. I thought I just needed to say what was on my mind, honestly. So, whether you believe it or not, thanks for your help.

Ladeska, thanks. A few of my co workers and friends think I am nuts to be so concerned about my kid, I just know it's a tough world out there, why make it tougher on yourself? I try to back off a bit and let him make his own decisions, I encourage, but I dont threaten or belittle. Like I said, I just worry that because he seems so out of control and haywire, he may make a choice that will affect his whole life, and in a bad way.

Well, thanks to all of you for listening and enlightening. Again, I applaud you Sygg for your courage and strengh, you're a good person.

August 1, 2002
12:23 am
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mossrose
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oooooooooooook then..my mistake.

Just wanted to add to the coda explanation.

So much of what we call codependency is simply human attempts to aovid, deny, or divert our pain.

Taking this step ( step one ) means we become ready to face and feel our pain. Be gentle with ourselves and others as we move from denial into the acceptance generated by this step.

August 10, 2002
12:07 am
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syqg
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Sandman, I hope you and your family are okay tonight. Just passing through here. Had some GUILT to deal with on my side with my Mother. Go with your heart on your son. Always go with your heart. Always have hope for him, and always let him see YOUR hope for him. That helps more than you know. He's young,22. It's not too late for him to change. Just remember to not help him mess up things. Help him by loving him, being a responsible parent and setting an example. Don't ever give up on a child. Never. Ever. Ever. Glad to hear you take family seriously. I too almost was convinced to LEAVE my mother alone. Never will I do that. I just help differently now. I wish you all the best.

August 10, 2002
10:13 am
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syqg
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Please, let me write that differently. Just read the other posts! Noone on here ever tried to tell me to leave my mother, it was friends and therapist once. And they were really only trying to help. I probably would have gave the same advice at that point too. Sandman, none of us are doctors or therapists. We are just people like you with problems and a listening ear. I'm speaking for a few in here that I know. I hope your situation gets better for you. Write some more. :o)

August 10, 2002
10:13 am
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syqg
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Please, let me write that differently. Just read the other posts! Noone on here ever tried to tell me to leave my mother, it was friends and therapist once. And they were really only trying to help. I probably would have gave the same advice at that point too. Sandman, none of us are doctors or therapists. We are just people like you with problems and a listening ear. I'm speaking for a few in here that I know. I hope your situation gets better for you. Write some more. :o)

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