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Does anyone live here anymore?
February 7, 2003
4:37 pm
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Just wondering. I still check in but was beginning to wonder if this was an abandoned site. Judging from the dust on the floor and the echo of my boots, it's been a little neglected lately.

I know all of us codependents haven't been miraculously healed. So spill -- what's up? Miss all of ya, hope to see your footprints here at least the next time I peek my head in.

Thought for the day "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Or, if you're in a sarcastic mood, my personal longtime motto : "Refuse to engage in a battle of wits with anyone who is unarmed."

Ah! To the point.

Catch ya later chickies! Good evening to ya, and if anyone hears from slv please give her my love and whole hearted support! Missed her today!

February 8, 2003
11:26 am
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I kinda used up all my ammunition at the coffeehouse yesterday 🙂

BTW, Still as sick today as I was in the past.

Wanna talk?

February 8, 2003
12:07 pm
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Yeah. Let's talk.

I caved. Called.

He's not home.

Feeling down-ish again.

Saw his truck parked on main st last night. Nearly jumped out of my skin, nearly cried. Ridiculous.

When I know he's away I'm ok. When I know he's back in town, I'm fighting the pull towards him. The pull is with myself, I might add! (rolls eyes)

This is hard work!!

February 8, 2003
12:54 pm
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Hi SFB,
Just came back....Wow... thought he was suppose to be gone a while.
So you called him...what were you going to say?

February 8, 2003
12:56 pm
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I have been where you are before.
Like when I told you last week that I saw an old boyfriends truck coming home.....
Unfinished emotional business.

February 8, 2003
1:01 pm
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My boyfriend before my husband....the one my hubby told he was going to stomp a mud puddle up his butt and stomp it dry again.....Never talked to him again.....Bf became husband.

That was the first time I had even seen him since our break-up. I knew that bf wasn't good for me...reason I started going to AA for support.

February 8, 2003
1:03 pm
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Unfortunately for me, I wasn't healed...and became attached in another relationship.

Can I safely assume you left for the day at work?

Good luck with EMS interview!
Hugs

February 9, 2003
6:01 am
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SFB...What are you doing, if anything, to work on your marriage? How are you trying to find the passion and reason why you decided to choose your husband in the first place?

February 9, 2003
4:25 pm
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Hi Squeezles,
How are you and boyfriend doing today?
Sorry to hear that you were having issues with him over his friend.
I know that you are anti-smoking 🙂
Most people are these days.

February 9, 2003
7:10 pm
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We've sorted stuff out...at least I've realised that it's going to cause my problems creating an issue about him going interstate alone (and having him go anyway) then it would be to just let him go and avoid the arguments. So, he's going, I'm going to bite my tongue and cross my fingers that I can trust him away and probably go spend some time with my Mum. I'm hoping that way I'll get some quality time with Mum and hopefully keep her happy and Boyfriend will get quality time with his friend, which will hopefully keep him happy and mean he will be more reasonable about future times he spends with him because he doesn't feel so hard done by.

*S* Sorry MJ...I don't mean to offend you (re. smoking). To be honest I really don't have a problem with people who smoke (not my choice; not what I consider a good thing, but if they want to do it, so be it), just for some reason I have a MAJOR problem when it's MY boyfriend. I guess it's the way I was raised...parents very anti-smoking; anti-drugs, anti-excessive drinking, anti-motorbikes etc. Both my parents are in the medical field so as a young child I was bombarded with messages and pictures and saw people who were ruined because of these things. When I was about 9 my Dad showed me a picture of a brain with holes in it due to heroin use...it's stuck with my for life. I guess my problem with it being my BF is that I don't want my parents to dislike him for it (and being anti-smoking, I know they won't particuarly like it if they knew). At this stage, both of them love him and I don't want them to have any cause not to. I think I'm also disappointed that he went back to it after quitting 3 years prior (especially when he knew that I didn't like smoking). I was so proud that he quit considering his brother, both his parents and most of his friends/work colleagues smoked. Now he says he cannot 'guarantee' that he won't smoke again, which makes me angry that he even tried one again in the first place.

All in all small issues that I can live with simply because I love the guy too much.

February 9, 2003
7:21 pm
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Ohh PS MJ...I hope you're surgery goes well. I'll be thinking of you.

February 9, 2003
8:06 pm
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Thanks Squeezles! Best Regards for your happiness.

February 9, 2003
8:45 pm
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Wouldn't it be nice to have parents who respect our judgement and allow us to live our own lives to the best of our abilities. After-all they got to live their lives the way they chose.

I am sure that your boyfriend has earned your parents respect and they could learn to accept this aspect of your bf. Did you see the movie "Guess who's coming to dinner".
I Love watching that movie. Educated parents wanting the best for their daughter.

Thanks Squeezles for sharing with me again. Have a nice evening.

February 9, 2003
8:58 pm
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MJ certainly true...It's not so much the issue that my parents 'won't like it'. They've (well my Dad was always fine; my Mum's taken a bit of work) finally accepted that I need to live my life how I wish. It's more that I can't respect his decision in myself...Well I respect that he is ENTITLED to make his own decisions, I just can't agree with his wish to smoke. It is, I guess you could say, a 'boundary issue' for me. He knew my feelings on the matter long before we were going out. In any case, I'm reasonably sure that he isn't at this stage.

I'm trying to focus on not letting things from the past bother me so much. It's hard to let go of deep rooted issues but all I'm doing is hurting myself. Keep moving forward, that's all I'm trying to do.

February 9, 2003
9:10 pm
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Good Goal!
Thanks for explaining further.

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