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Are you really my friend
December 8, 2004
6:08 pm
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Anonymous
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SO I had this encounter with a so called friend, I think I have written about her before. ANyways, I was joking with her and she freaked out on something like me telling her I was kidding not to freak out. And then comes out the weirdness on how I am bad and I am hurtful and I am mean to people and she knows how Mr. Jack feels and she doesn't blame him and all sorts of mean stuff, I can't even write about it all, I will admit I responded with some hurtful things of my own but I was in defense and attack mode. I have come to realize and told her I felt she used me when she had no one else to occupy her time with and she comes back at me at how I am hurtful and mean to everyone in my life and I have issues with attachment and she doesn't blame Mr. jack for the things he did. It was just hurtful.

December 8, 2004
6:26 pm
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Anonymous
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I can't handle people that are just so fake anymore, and I guess I am at the point where I am not taking anyone's shit anymore, and so if friendships go I guess they go.

December 8, 2004
8:14 pm
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art angel
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Aces,

I feel for ya. I know what you mean, sometimes I'm just so sick of the bullsh*t that I just want to be ME, and not a bubbly friend. I think it was harsh of her to tell you those things--does she know the whole story of Mr Jack and how he treated you??? I think a little understanding goes a long way, and she wasn't being understanding at all.

hang in there girl.

love

art angel

December 8, 2004
8:20 pm
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brandielvis
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RUN away as fast as you can before she does something terrible to you. I had a "friend" like that and I stayed friends with her because I felt sorry for her, but after 15 years of friendship I couldn't take her craziness anymore and cut off the friendship completely and now she has a personal vendetta against me and is trying to hurt me in anyway she can.

December 8, 2004
8:43 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I don't get why folks throw your (my) ex in our face and knowing the evil that was done to us, what of it we shared, they go and can see why the ex had to get away from us and we deserved what we got. HUH?

I'm sorry you ran across a so called friend like that. I know it hurts; cuts like a knife. Blow her off and walk on. She doesn't deserve your time of day.

Brandi: Do you have an Order of Protection against her? Please watch your back at every move.

December 9, 2004
2:01 am
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balancesekr
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Hi Aces,
Sounds like your "friend" is showing her true colors. It sucks when something like this happens and people say hurtful things when you have put trust and faith into your relationship with them. Maybe she has some growing to do too!

Maybe this stuff she said was building up in her and it just came out. Now more than ever I communicate way more with my friends about real feelings and how we relate to each other. Some people can't handle that though and prefer to have superficial relationships with idiots, people who are losers and aren't really deep.

I wonder these days about certain friendships I have, its tough out there. What she said was really hurtful and maybe you can talk it out with her, if you can't then she probably is not your friend, or doesn't have the capicity to communicate problems with you effectively. hugs to you, you have friends here. balance

December 9, 2004
2:21 am
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sewunique
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I think your 'friend' has her owns 'issues'.

Unfortuneatly, it is not just boyfiends and spoused we attreact with our personality that we have problems with, it is our friends as well and can have problems work and with relatives also. It is about how we deal with relationships, wherever they may be.

You can leave her behind and yes, try to keep positive people around you. Who wants a friend who is a negative personality, anyway? Some people are just plain mean and hurtful.

Sew

December 9, 2004
3:46 am
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aces-

i had a "friend" like yours. she was a little more calculating though. unfortunately, she was also my neighbor so i had a hard time cutting ties until i moved- it's a sordid annoying story- in general terms: she would tell boyfriends, family things I told her in confidence and cause major problems. she had a need to be the center of attention. and was very jealous. finally i moved and dropped her like a hot potato. i wish i could have been more direct, spoke my mind, and cut her off sooner- but when i tried, she made my life hell. some people are just toxic. if you can avoid them it's great, but life's not always that easy!

Hopefully you can get this woman out of your life. It sounds like she is not worthy of your friendship.

-ella

December 9, 2004
4:05 am
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willitgetbetter
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Aces, Hi ya my friend. Sounds like it's time to 'clean out your closet'. She aint no 'friend' my dear. Now is the time to have a good look at useless things in your life, excess baggage etc, and have a spring clean, that's what I am doing. You are a special person, start treating yourself as such, dont let these wasters use and abuse you any more, you are too good for that.

December 9, 2004
10:15 am
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Anonymous
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THank you all, I agree with what you have said and I will say this I did say things in return but I felt on the defense and attacked and when that happens, the gloves come off. I have realized that this "friend" was exactly like Mr. Jack and that was why we failed to get along. She was controlling and manipulative and an abuser through and through, and she would make it to where she would "need" you to do all these things with her, and then bam like a punisher or something if you didn't do what she wanted then she would punish you, she would do that in her relationships too. She says that I am psychotic because I have gone through a hard time with MR. jack well I stood by her side through and through when she was obsessed with some guy who used her for sex, and she thought that he liked her, and I never criticized her and then for her to jump down my case on Mr. Jack was just unheard of.

Then I think to get a sympathy ploy she used a story like she had miscarried a child back in August, (which I don't believe) because why would she throw it in my face during an argument for the first time of telling someone?

And in light of what CICI has just gone through I think her actions are dispicable.

December 9, 2004
2:58 pm
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kathygy
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She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. I would break ties with her completely. She was pushing her own agenda which probably has little to do with you. I surround myself with people who love me and treat me well.

December 9, 2004
3:03 pm
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gingerleigh
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Is it possible that there was any validity in her statements at all? No one is perfect, maybe she was trying to offer feedback but due to her own shortcomings wasn't able to do it in a productive way.

December 9, 2004
3:04 pm
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Anonymous
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Well she was just so overdramatic about everything you know. I mean she gets an email from a guy who doesn't even like her and she thought it was a sign, when a logical person would realize it's just someone being nice. I don't know, I don't wish her any ill harm but I certainly do not want people that are that unstable and insecure in my life because then it causes me to falter in my own self.

December 9, 2004
5:45 pm
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I am a little upset that I have realized that my "friend" is using this site to try and get me to feel bad again in threads that she is posting, I do not like being manipulated and now on this site, this is where I come to vent and to feel okay with and now she is on here when she doesn't even come on here, and is trying to make me feel bad again.

December 9, 2004
5:48 pm
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I almost feel like I should leave now, because I don't like this type of manipulation.

December 9, 2004
6:21 pm
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Anonymous
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And I find it funny that she would come onto this site and if someone comes on here for help I am all for that but considering that she has said she doesn't come to this site anymore because the people on here are too messed up and now she is posting about me, I know it is to just hurt me. So therefore, I think that I should leave, because it does hurt me.

December 9, 2004
7:59 pm
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willitgetbetter
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Aces, don't you dare go anywhere. Email SC in confidence.

December 9, 2004
8:06 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Aces: DON"T GO!! Let her spout her poison and you stand on your own two feet and know that we are not the type folks here to throw you to the wolves. You stand strong and STAY!

December 9, 2004
9:59 pm
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Anonymous
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I did email SC and the thing is that people are responding to her thread and they believe the lies she is telling and so forth, I will hold my head up high thank you you two for standing by me, I will just ignore her thread and continue on my way, I have made great friends here and I love it here and I love the people here.

December 9, 2004
10:11 pm
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willitgetbetter
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Aces, there have been responses to that thread but we are not blind. We know what is going on, well I do anyway! Can I say that without being told off by SC? Glad you are here, please dont go away, I need you. Aces, dont thank me, without you I wouldn't be here today. Carry on sweetheart, just ignore it. Remember, we don't always agree with what is being said on some threads and what do we do, we ignore it!!! That's what you have to do now! There , now do as you are told! lol x

December 9, 2004
10:13 pm
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Anonymous
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Thank you willit, I think that you saved me too when you said you would never leave me. It just hurts and I just hate that this was my place of safe haven and she no longer came here and now she is here to hurt me and get a reaction and I have given one because I am hurt. But I will ignore it like I said HOW ARE YOU DOING?? Any word from the ex?

December 9, 2004
10:29 pm
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willitgetbetter
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Thank God you are still here. Thought you might have been scared off. Like I say, let it go over your head and stay as you are. Well, my dear, a lot to tell! I am on the way up. No word directly but she still keeps contacting my daughter pretending to be friends!!!! Ha ha! She cant be anyone's friend. Fortunately my daugter is sensible and knows her game! As for me, well, i've turned things around. As you know, I lost my job because of this crap, my fault, and I put my hands up to that. I have wanted to be a freelance for a long time and now is my big chance. No one is going to employ me because of the depression bit so it is either starve or do something. So, as from next week I am self employed!!! I also negotiated a settlement from my previous employer because I could have sued the pants of them for unfair dismissal. That gives me a couple of months salary to play with. I move into a new flat (apartment) next Thursday as well. I feel so positive compared to 4 weeks ago! Been on a couple of dates which were dissapointing, (probably me not really being ready). Generally, things are looking up. I won't lie to you Aces, I still miss her like crazy, but life goes on and I have to force myself every day to do things that I don't really want to do but when I have done them i see it as another test I have passed! That is me sweetheart, very optimistic. I have been following your threads Aces and see that you are still having shit with Mr Jack. Talk to me........

December 9, 2004
10:30 pm
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willitgetbetter
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Oh yeah, and when I said I would never leave you, I meant it!

December 9, 2004
10:35 pm
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Well it has been getting better, oddly enough. I mean we still talk every now and then, but things are going better for me. I am so happy to see you are dating again, the first couple times out really suck I know I have been there. And the whole freelance thing is great, I mean really great, it's so good to have goals to get us through this crap, i mean remember where BOTH of us were like three weeks ago, it was terrible, and now look at us. And I won't lie to you I still miss Mr. Jack but it gets easier it really does. I cannot believe she is still trying to contact your daughter.

December 9, 2004
10:47 pm
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And I will never leave you.

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