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Why call me wounded?
July 19, 2011
12:33 pm
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sandhill
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July 19, 2011
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SurprisedHello Friends,

I've been lurking here for a while and want some feedback.  I've been working with my therapist for eight months now and we have made a lot of progress, talking about experiences that I have had that have always been treated as pathological.  I've always seen them as more spiritual or mystical in nature, and for the first time ever, I've been taken seriously by my therapist.  Having said that, there's also been a lot of humor and forgiveness in this therapeutic relationship..until lately...

Now, however, I've begun the process of attempting to "own" or integrate these experiences into my daily life, and things have really gone sour...explosively so.  In sessions recently, my therapist has been reflecting mostly negative things about my struggles.  He tells me that "we need to clean your wounds," or "You don't want to sit with your feelings," "you identify with people who don't have your best interests in mind," or "you don't trust your best instincts."  Things feel punishing, I feel diminished, judged and it seems that everything I do is wrong, wrong wrong.  I've brought up how marginalized I feel after our sessions, like I'm being treated as "sick,"  and how disempowering our sessions have become, and I've been told that I'm hostile (!).  Now, in our last session, my therapist said, "if you feel that I'm hurting you or doing things that are counterproductive, I'd urge you to end this."  After that, it went radically downhill. 

I said that I wanted an approach that built on my strengths rather than emphasizing my weaknesses, and we went back to the "getting at the wound" theory... 

I feel like my honesty is being punished, and frankly,  I feel this is a kind of roundabout way of being "dumped." I'm hurt because I've made lots of progress, but am at total crossroads.  I'm seeking my own wisdom but also reaching out for yours. 

 

Thoughts?    

July 19, 2011
10:58 pm
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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sandhill,

 

You do have a good point there. Sincre you are already conscious and aware of your own progress then I think it's time to give yourself liberation from any therapy sessions and just meditate alone. If you think you can already handle things smoothly, then you're just doing great and recognize yourself for that achievement. You can always have a choice to look for a better therapist or just trust yourself for getting better and better everyday. It's all up to you or if you really want something that can focuses on building your strength and motivation then maybe you can try some self-help options for yourself in which you can enjoy like books, audios, and even online resources. I think that works better for you.

 

You're doing really good. Just keep us posted and AAC will be here to support you. ((HUGS))

July 20, 2011
5:20 pm
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gentle
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July 8, 2011
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Hello, Sandhill,

It would be nice if you would like to come over to the Self-Help forum to the thread "bright and balanced life," and maybe we could talk about some things that are not all about woundedness and have some spiritual aspects to them. 

Sorry things feel so bad with the counselor.  Sometimes it does take a turn for the worse, sadly.  Let us know how things go, if you feel up to writing.   Hope you find a direction that brings peace and growth to you, in your life.

With kind regards,

~ gentle

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