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random depression , im pretty sure i need to talk to someone but i cant afford to get any help. what do i do?
October 8, 2012
6:37 am
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nw89
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October 8, 2012
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I'm 23 years old with two children , unemployed and very depressed with everything going on in my life. there are just some days where i get so sad for no reason and I cry so much my head starts to pound.I have been through a lot in my life.. as a child i was touched inappropriately by numerous men and was too afraid to tell anyone and til this day no one knows what I have really been through. 5th grade i tried to kill myself , by taking a bunch of pills.. i had no idea what the pilss were i just took them and they did nothng but made my body cold all over. now i am a unemployed single mother of 2 in which i can't afford to do anything for them.. my mother degrades me as a mother and makes me feel ten times worse. she tells me i shouldn't have had my children all the time and it breaks my heart to hear her say that when i love my children so much. I'm not financially able to provide but i do what i can with them. It often gets to me and i hide in a closet or the bathroom so no one will see me cry. i pray very often that i don't wake up because i hate myself and my life and i just want to die!! I'm worthless and i shouldn't be able to live , im not a good mother.. what type of mother cant provide for her children ? I wish i would just die already , i hate living ! Nobody cares about me , no one tries to help so why continue to live ? I hate everything about my life , why wont god just answer my prayers and let me die

October 8, 2012
12:50 pm
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dop
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December 20, 2011
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You said you get sad for no reason, well you do have
reasons, very valid reasons. At 23 years old you are swimming in an ocean
trying to keep your head above water. It’s exhausting. The reason god hasn’t
answered your prayer is because you have a job to do. You have two children
that need a mother. You do have a purpose. When you start talking about self
destructing you have put yourself above your children. Imagine what that would
do to your kids. You would set them up for failure and lifelong issues.
Children really don’t require much. All they want from their mother is to know
how important they are to you and that you are there to protect them. It is simple
all they want is their mother. There is no one that can replace you. They will
look back and know that you were the only one that didn’t abandon them, you
were always there. Those are the things we remember. I think your mother needs
to give the insults a rest and understand that your children need to be taken
care of and you need help doing it. Would you be able to discuss with your mother
what you had experienced at a younger age?  When you were inappropriately touched by numerous
men it set you up to go down a path of self destruction. I think she may
understand this. I would expect a young woman to have a hard time coping with
this. Raising two children makes it overwhelming. I believe there are women who
post here that may respond to your post who have had similar situations. Their
experiences may help guide you.

October 17, 2012
7:35 pm
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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There are self-help options available online. It's best to give it a try than being depressed and suicidal about everything that's happening in your life. Don't dwell on the negative things but rather think of the happy times with your kids. There's nothing wrong being a single mother as you can show to many people that you can take care well of your children alone. Try to appreciate the things that you have right now than the things that you don't have so you can find the inner peace and joy. Also, you can try different online jobs. You can earn money as much as you can while working at home.

 

Wishing you well.

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