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In need of guidance
July 16, 2014
11:04 pm
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summerandsummer
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July 16, 2014
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I'm not exactly aware of what I'm experiencing, and whether this pertains to actually having a mental issue:
My issues are as follows:
I am currently going through a period in my life where I am questioning and mostly judging things around me. From social media posts to news stories, or even the man that works at 7/11.
I am constantly comparing myself to other individuals and create a negative cycle in my head in which I honestly do feel worthless. I've been blessed with a supportive family however with a recent divorce I see two different sides to both my parents and in a way live in constant doubt as to who they are.
I'm a college student and live alone, during this period I began experimenting with smoking weed; in many ways I felt extreme happiness yet it affected my studies tremendously and so I quit cold turkey. Given my culture and religion, it's also completely unacceptable to have a romantic/physical relationship with an individual. I did however engage in such as the person I was with provided great means of comfort and support. However while being in the relationship I realized how hard I was trying to make things work because I fell into this fantasy of imagining that' we'd always be together.
In many ways I feel like I am 2 different people: the innocent version of me that everyone is familiar with and the other version of me that experimented with smoking and entering a physical relationship. I understand in the western culture having a boyfriend is not a big deal however with the limitations of my society it is in many ways looked down upon- furthermore I'm trying not to contradict myself but I also understand why it's wrong.
I feel depressed as I battle to understand who I am, I am not happy with myself and instead of doing anything about it I end up resorting to sleep. I find myself wishing I'd slip into a coma most of the time or wanting to rewind back so I could change many of the decisions I've made. I understand that the "beauty" of life is to learn from your mistakes but at this point I feel like everything is typical and too mainstream. I have come to accept that I cannot distinguish myself from others as I had always falsely believed in doing so. Perhaps I'm having a wake up call or seeing reality as it is but everything around me seems meaningless and repetitive. So and so tweeted this, that girls posted this picture, this happened on the news, etc etc. I feel attached to this cycle of judging things and keep feeling lost. I snap out of this mood for an hour or two at max and then it begins all over again.
I know there's "so much to life" yet many things feel meaningless and tasteless to me and in return I am agitated with myself because I understand I am being ungrateful. I cannot hold a decent discussion or conversation with anyone and I am honestly starting to realize that perhaps I am really dumb.
I keep searching for an escape but I know there isn't one.
I am unstable, mentally but I also feel like it is an attribute of being lazy. I do not like who I am , I used to always be proud of the person I was but now all I feel like I am is a pathetic excuse of a human being.

I want to live positively, and contribute to society in a meaningful way yet here I am standing against myself. I wallow in guilt and shame, I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this as I also have trust issues which is probably why I'm posting this here.

I don't know what to do about this and if seeing a psychologist or therapist will really make a difference?

July 21, 2014
2:11 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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I think it would do you some good to have either friends or a therapist to talk to about what you are feeling.  Having said that, I think the world and how you see it, is not just your "jaded perception".  The world is different today & media including social media is a new way of feeding fear at times & pushing images into your head that might make you question things that you thought could not be truly real.  Do you have any friends you can trust?  I understand that your culture dissallows romantic involvement, but is that forever or just until you reach a certain age?  I hope that you do not go back into the lure of taking any drug, because it will only mask your problems further.  Going for walks in nature & reading good books & listening to soothing music might help.  You are right, there is nowhere to run & even if you ran to the furtherst reachest of the earth, you would not be able to solve these problems that you have both internally & externally.  Diet can help you as well.  Eat healthy foods that you like.  Perhaps you can keep a journal of your thoughts & share it with someone you trust or a therapist?

Also, do you have any ideas or goals for your future?  Given the chance. what would you like to do to contribute in a positive way to this world?

 

One day

January 29, 2015
12:39 am
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edwardcejka
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i think so you can need some rehab center.

February 16, 2015
4:13 am
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Aaronaxel1
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February 16, 2015
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On account of changes in laws and legitimate techniques the universe of restorative practices has ended up more delicate and uplifted in the course of the most recent decade.

February 19, 2015
5:11 am
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Dr. Basim Elhabashy
Delray Beach
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Many people have problems like this. You should prevent this as soon as possible by taking treatment from any good rehab center.

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