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I think Im extreamly co-dependant.
March 4, 2012
10:53 pm
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zombiecat
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March 4, 2012
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iv been trying to figure out whats wrong with me forever. I have depression and a serious anxiety problem but I'm also a people pleasing person with very very low self esteem/ self worth. I need to be in a relationship to feel validated not necessarily with an addict but with some kind of affliction often with people that have mental health issues as well.. I feel like I need to take care of them. It thrills me to make others happy. I'm sososos sensitive to how other people feel. I always absorb others sadness. I feel everything in such a painful way its hard for me to function anymore. I don't know what to do! I cant lie to myself anymore.

March 5, 2012
6:47 pm
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sandals
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March 5, 2012
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I'm the same, very people pleasing person, never think of my self, only others. I seek out relationships that I feel validated by being needed. I know now what it is, just don't know how to deal with it. You can only read so much. You find all these definitions that apply to you, but they don't tell you how to undo all that you thought was right all this time

March 23, 2012
8:34 am
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jordan.s
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November 15, 2011
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zombiecat,

Thanks for sharing. Although you are going through a troubling time, there are some upsides to your situation: One, you care about people, are self-aware, and want to improve peoples lives instead of being self-centered and focused on yourself. Should you have been the latter, curing your codependency, depression and or anxiety would be more difficult (but we'll get to that more later). Two, you know what motivates and drives you: "It thrills me to make others happy." That is very important because for many people struggling with codependency, depression, etc. (any type of mental disorder), they don't know even where to start or how to analyze their own personality. Now, onto what you can do about it. One thing to think about is when and how you become codependnet and anxious. When do you do this? Is there a specific person and/or place that this happens? By identifying the exact scenario, you can better grasp the logic behind it. However, because you have been struggling wtih this for sometime, you might not be able to pinpoint an example (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). The one thing that really sticks out to me is the fact that you feel the need to be in a relationship with someone who has some kind of afflicition. Why do you think that? I know you want to make others happy, but being with someone in a similar scenario such as yours (or an addict) might not be the best path. I'm not testing your judgment, but you are more likely to become non codependent should you be around those that don't have mental health issues (at least until you get yours addressed). To do so, getting a sponsor, having friends and family as support, and attending special groups will all help improve your self-esteem and motivate you even more because you ARE worth something! It may be difficult to understand, but it's true. I think the most effective way to address – and hopefully cure – your codependency is through codependency treatment. Once you go through treatment, you are able to understand those in your situation more clearly, and be able to move on into a fuller and happier life all the while still being in a capacity to help those struggling with mental disorders because you enjoy being around that. Hope this helps and the best to you.

May 25, 2012
12:35 am
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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zombiecat,

 

You maybe a codependent based on your behavior but it's best to consult a professional counselor specializing in codependency. That way, you would know the real signs and symptoms of being a codependent and you'll be given enough care and advice on how to cope with it. If by any chance that you are proven to be a codependent then continue to seek for help from you counselor/therapist. There are also self-help options available. Just choose the best option you think you are most comfortable with.

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