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I need help please read.
January 7, 2012
6:49 pm
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mrworry
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January 7, 2012
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Hello If you have any recommendations for me.

I was also wondering if you can read the following situation, and diagnose what I might have.

I'd like to say I've been having major problems with ocd since childhood, and I'm almost certain I'm depressed.

I do not touch things, or clean things anymore, but I tend to want to
solve things and can't always understand people, like the example below,

I
was wondering if  you could recommend any books, therapies, or DVDs, 
natural medication or any approach(except hypnosis) that might help me.

 Here's a question I've compiled of what has been worrying me
recently, I'd like to add that this guy wal I'm talking about does not
actually know or has never spent any time with the woman I was with(he
is also married), this will make sense soon.

Please can you read this and work out what sort of help I need.

In
2004 I met and exchanged love messages with an older woman, then I hung
out at her house but nothing happened , then she messaged me and told
me that we should just be friends which broke my heart and sent me down a
spiral of long depression, a couple months later I contacted an old
church friend named Wal who after he encouraged me to get drunk at his
house I started telling him about this woman, the next day he took me to
where she worked so he could meet her, but she was not there.

We never talked about the woman again until Mid-2005, when I was
given a very special privilege in church, Wal stormed up to me and asked
these exact words “So is that old bird still chasing you?”

But
then we were interrupted, It took me years to build up the courage to
talk to him about what he said, and years of trying to work out why on
earth this woman would be chasing me, I started having suspicions I
might of actually had sex with her then forgotten but eventually I came
to realise that was not true, though it took a long time.

This is quite a big problem,

Later I asked Wal a question
(3rd time I've managed to ask him, twice in person and once on phone
he's done a pretty good job of giving me half-answered answers each time
which is why I keep asking him), why he bought up a personal question
to me about whether or not a woman I knew and who was keen on me (but
then she had gave up on me) was still chasing me,

The first time he said “I just was wondering if you had seen her
recently” or something like that, second time I got my dad to ask and
Wal avoided the question and started talking about his history growing
up(unrelated stuff about how he used to have to look after his mother
growing up and stuff, and how he had had to miss out on all the
advantages of childhood because of looking after his mother then he said
he can’t remember why he asked the question) then later when I went to
talk to Wal and apologised for any misunderstanding , he just started
talking about what life was like for him growing up(again mentioning his
mother , but this time the story involved her cooking for him and his
siblings and how she always used to spoil the food by leaving it
uncovered so they had to make it themselves), then when I tried to
redirect the conversation he quickly mentioned "It's just I had a woman
chasing me" and then we were interrupted and he quickly took the
advantage to walk away before we could get back to our conversation,
later on I rang him up and recorded the conversation and had mum listen
in on the conversation, and when I asked him why he had asked the
original question about the woman he started saying something similar to
this "oh you know how it is, when you’re in town you see familiar
faces...." and he changed the subject, and then I said 'yes but you knew
she was not chasing me' and he replied "you know how it is when you’re
in town you see people you have not seen for a while, like its happened
to me I've been in town and seen people I have not seen for ages" then
he changed the subject again and we left it at that.

Looking back mum thought what he meant was that by saying "Familiar
Faces" he meant his old girlfriend (that he had told back to me to me
ages before he even mentioned it in one of our conversations, something
he mentioned to me when I bought up about my girlfriend but I had
forgotten), so in other words he see's familiar faces that remind of
people he knew.

Whereas I thought he just meant someone I knew, that I could of seen this girlfriend of mine in town by coincidence

And
the thing is he knew that she had moved on with her life and was
nowhere near me, and it would be nearly impossible for me to see her
again, even bump into her on the street.

Anyway we can't work it out, mum thinks now he was just trying to
avoid the question altogether like a politician, and I tend to think
he's answer is a riddle(that he might of expected me to be linking an
old conversation we had had with what he said recently) that is bigger
than any of the world’s problems and he is a great mind or at least a
complex one.

No books, problems, peoples, TV shows, games, anything seem
worthwhile anymore, all I do is eat and sleep, I am depressed all the
time, and have nothing to live for, I know if I were to ask him again he
would not give me a correct or answer that makes sense and lead me to
get confused more so what’s the use, plus he may get angry and make
trouble for me.

I know there is something wrong with me to obsess like this, my question is

- do all people think like this in similar situations please help?

- Is there a problem? is he more complex than most individuals or just weird?

- is he a unique mind a great mind, or a complex mind even more
worthy then that of Einstein, Lincoln or the typical person down the
street?

- can you recommend any help for me please? (Books, natural medication, therapy, etc)

- Also do you know any other kind of complex/awkward people like
him? and does he's way of thinking and reasoning/speaking make
everything else in this world seem unworthy.

- do you know by any chance what mental problem I'm suffering from?

- Do you know of any books that can help me understand people like him?

- Is my life useless now, because I rang him up?

I
ended up ringing him again, and he talked how he usually talks soft and
sly, then when it came to me asking what he meant by the last
conversation, he got angry, and started saying things to me to make me
look like the bad guy, I know I’m annoying but I’ve explained to him my
mental problems and he still does not get it, anyhow I ended up hanging
up on him as he was pretty much abusing me on the phone, that day I slit
my legs and arms and had to go to the hospital.

 

I  am still very depressed and tired all the time from over
thinking, and what I find hard to understand about him is that he does
not make any sense yet you can combine all his different answers into
one big excuse why he asked the original question.

When I asked him about the woman he told me was chasing him, he
first asked that I never bring her up again and then when I explained
why I had , he started saying “How do you know their chasing you?, like
do they write you a letter, or ring you up, etc., etc.”

Anyway as I was saying to my parents (I’m 25 by the way) despite all
the horrible things he’s said to me and done (as in getting me drunk,
and going back on promises, and not looking after me in camp when he was
supposed to, and just acting nasty towards me) I still feel very
compelled towards him as do many young ones my age, despite he’s being
in his 50’s, it is kind of strange I must say

 

Please any insight you can give on identifying his type of personality,

Recommend any books, online therapies, or DVDs, or natural medication that might help me.

An
Identifying types of therapy’s (I know of CBT that’s it) that might
help me get past the depression and other problems I have, and be able
to feel free from this man and stop obsessing about how his head works
and know there is no problem.

And why he asked such a bizarre question in the first place!, and why my
life does not feel fun or worth living anymore because I cannot answer
this question.

Every time I get close I think maybe or what if
something or something else, and the process starts again, I know that
most people would just say well he's being an idiot and leave it at
that, but for me I have to diagnose why he asked the question,
especially such an illogical one. As he asked if she was still chasing
me, when he knew very well she had moved and stopped chasing me.

Last question what do you think I'm suffering from?, I think OCD and
depression but what do you think and what do you think can help?

PS: Thanks for your time and patience reading this long e-mail, and your confidentiality in the matter.

Kind Regards,

Robert

PSS: there does not seem to be any help in my area for ocd let alone serious depression.

May 31, 2012
12:54 am
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ShiningLight
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Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
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mrworry,

 

After reading your story, I guess the best recommendation I could give you is to submit yourself to a Counselor and get some professional help. I noticed that you do worry about many things and yes you probably have that OC behavior but it might be best for you to seek some support so that proper treatment and advice will be given to you.

 

Your life is absolutely NOT useless. You were born with purpose so you have to reach for that. Keep fighting!

January 29, 2015
12:43 am
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edwardcejka
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April 28, 2014
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i think so you can need some expert advice.

February 19, 2015
6:00 am
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Dr. Basim Elhabashy
Delray Beach
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October 10, 2013
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I read your story and agree with above suggestions. You need to take help from any expert.

June 23, 2017
5:27 am
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Steve L
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November 2, 2016
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~~(snip)~~
I am still very depressed and tired all the time from over
thinking
~~(snip)~~

STOP right there! You have said what your problem is right here with what you said.
You are the creator of your problems. I went through just what you are doing. Thinking, dwelling, and analyzing.
It took about a year, but my Thinking, Dwelling and analyzing it finally dawned on me that it is A HABIT! Like
people that bite their fingernails, the more they do it, the more they have to do it and the harder it is to stop.

quit being YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY!!

Break that Habit. As soon as you find yourself thinking, worrying, dwelling, fretting, then just get yourself to quit.
Catch yourself doing it again?, ,,Quit. Do that over and over many times a day. It took me many days and weeks
for me to quit and I HAD TO WORK AT IT!!

And you have to work at it. and knock of worrying about that woman, your dad or anyone else. And QUIT CALLING
dad and other people and driving them Nuts!! That's a habit too. Break it

RELAX!!

Shut your mind OFF!!

Just do your own stuff at home and that's IT!!

Stop yourself Many Times A Day and REVIEW what you are thinking about, And if you are doing it
again, then quit. Stop after a while and see what you been thinking about, and if you are doing it again, then
QUIT!! Replace your thoughts with nice thoughts. Relaxing thoughts. Keep working at it. The brain
can get into bad habits, have to break the habit. But you have to DISCIPLINE yourself and WORK at it.

But RELAX, don't FRET about slipping back, habits takes a while to break. Just say to yourself, ,,,''Ok, I did it again,
fine....Relax, going to shut my mind off, not call anyone, Thinking of something better, just take care of my own stuff
and that's it'' Just keep doing that over and over. You will be amazed how much BETTER you will feel.
It WORKS

21

June 24, 2017
6:19 am
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Steve L
Member
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November 2, 2016
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Ohh, Glob Dimmit I did it AGAIN. I went back and the original poster posted that 5 YEARS AGO!! He probable forgot this site altogether by now. No Wonder he isn't answering!!! So hopefully I will finally remember to look at the date before I post. What good does it do to try and answer him NOW!!

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