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I don't know what is going on
December 1, 2013
7:32 am
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SlC36moz
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December 1, 2013
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I don't even know where to start or how I can begin to explain what I want to say.

I'm 19 years old and currently on a gap year living in another country as an au pair, but I am with a brilliant family and am really enjoying myself and I have every reason to be happy, and for the most part I am really happy. But I have some days where I just feel horrific, either I want to just cry or just go to sleep and most of the time I can't explain why. 

I have had episodes in the past of self-harm and very bad eating habits, around 5 or so years ago. I wouldn't say that I have an eating disorder but I have always struggled with my weight and my eating and I still do. I can't seem to maintain a healthy routine of eating properly, I either find myself binging for days on end and eating everything in sight or when I decide to go on a diet, although the first few days begin healthy and balanced, I often find myself restricting my calorie intake significantly, some days to 500kcals or less. No matter what I do I can't seem to get a balance.

When I was around 14/15 I went through a period of self-harm too, I'm not really sure why and I never tried to commit suicide but I can't explain the reasons behind it. However, last night I had another night of just feeling really awful and angry, for not really any reason at all and I grabbed the nearest thing I could find, which were the scissors, and now I have the most horrendous scratches all along my left arm. I don't understand what made me do this and I really wish I hadn't, it's the first time I've done this in so long.

I think I really need to speak to someone because I just don't feel like I'm in a good place at the minute, but I don't know who to go to.

December 2, 2013
3:59 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Where I live, there are many professional psychologists that deal with eating disorders.  It sounds like you really could use the support of such a person.  Over eating and bingeing & cutting are both forms of self harm.  These are things you really need to speak to a professional about to try & understand why you continue.  Obviously there is something bothering you or you may need some sort of medicine to help stabilize your moods if talk therapy does not improve your situation.  Stop hurting yourself & start helping yourself get better by reaching out.

 

One Day

March 19, 2014
12:55 am
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Dr. Basim Elhabashy
Delray Beach
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Just don't bother about the extra things just focus on your mental status and think about your happy momnets and don't take stress much this will definately help you to stay out of the negativity for sure.

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