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Wife says shes not in love with me anymore and wants to leave
May 31, 2015
7:40 pm
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We have been together for 10 years and married for 3 years. For the most of it it has been really good. In the last few months at least I have noticed that my wife seems less interested in spending alone time with me. On the weekends for the last 6 months approx we have spend most if not all of the weekend working on our house or shed/man cave and yard with a friend of mine.

Also for the the last few months at least my wife goes out for drinks after work with a few friends pretty much every night of the week. I sometimes go for a beer with them too but not every time. This ultimately means we don't get much time alone. Particularly in the last month or so I have noticed that when I do go for drinks with them that we ultimately only stay for one or 2 drinks max after I get there, getting home around 8 or 9 pm. However, on nights that I don't go but rather go straight home she is usually out until quite late. Getting home around 1 am is not uncommon. At first this annoyed me because for a while I actually found it hard to get her to come out with me on the weekends because she doesn't like staying out late like I do, so for her to stay out later when I don't go seemed strange.

Anyway fast forward to about 2 weeks ago we had a disagreement on whos turn it was to change the sheets. I took the old ones off but she refused to even help put clean ones on which ultimately led to her sleeping on the couch for a week and a half. Then on the way home from work I told her we really need to sort this bed sheets thing out so we can sleep in the same bed again. I said it felt like she was using this as an excuse to not sleep in the bed with me which she admitted was likely the case. She then told me that she is not happy in our marriage and needs time to think about what she wants to do.

We discussed it over the next few days and she said that she doesn't know why she isn't happy in our relationship and that there is nothing she would want to change about it or me but she just knows that she is not happy in our marriage. She said that she still loves me but doesn't think she is still in love with me (that old chestnut). She said the because she doesn't know why she feels this way that it can't be fixed and she ultimately doesn't want to try to fix it. She is looking for a place to move out to now.

Last night we were talking and I told her that the fact that she doesn't even want to try to fix it is probably what hurts the most. Had she come to me earlier and been open to fixing it rather than giving up perhaps we could have gotten through it. She then said that its just because she doesn't know where to start because she doesn't know what the problem is. She said now that she may be open to trying if she knew what we could actually do.

The hard thing now is that we both have started the process of accepting her moving out and us separating so I don't really know what to do from here? Do you think she should still move out and us try to work on it from there? If she doesn't move out at least for the short term I feel we may actually not make any changes, but the flip side is I'm worried that if she does move out then her fading love will only fade more when we are apart.

I thought that perhaps she should move out and we should keep our distance for a month or two and then see if we can sort it out but treat it more like a new relationship. Perhaps that could help spark the old feeling? Just not sure what we should do, if anything at all. How can you fix someone falling out of love for the husband? She does have mild bipolar which has effected our relationship really early on in the past but shes confident that she feels fine in that regard now and that it is not related to this.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this and any help.

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