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wife and parents do NOT get along
August 7, 2012
12:41 pm
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cheetahslice
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August 7, 2012
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My wife and parents are completely at odds and I am stuck in the middle. We also have a young child and this has now compounded the issue bc they want to see him and she does not want to see them. Being that she is a stay at home mom this puts her in charge of him most of the time, so their time with him is limited. The issues my wife has is that she believes my parents do not respect her very much and that my mother talks to people about us behind her back. Some of this I think has been blown out of proportion, but some of it is legitimate. My parents and I live very close to each other and work in a small family business together so we do not get much of a break from one another. This has been going on for so long now, I am not sure where to focus this message. I guess I am trying to figure out what to do when you an unstoppable force meeting an unmovable object. (my wife and my mother). My father is less of a problem. He is dismissive to my wifes feelings and requests sometimes but not completely. My mother it seems has been more vocal throughout our community with her unhappiness with my wife and myself. My wife now feels like everyone we know is talking about her and thinking the worst of her. Whether is actually happening or not I don't know, but there is enough evidence to indicate it is. My mother can be deprecating towards her children at times. In her mind I think she thinks its funny, and after living with it long enough it doesn't bother me, but it enrages my wife. My wife also has some insecurities. She was terminated unfairly from her last job. She moved far to be with me and she comes from a large family that always surrounded her. I think this allowed her to not always have to maintain relationships with non-family, because there was always this safety net of aunts, uncles, and cousins. However, that is just a theory or guess and I am no expert.
So I am stuck in the middle.
Any advice?

August 13, 2012
6:25 pm
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dop
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This is on you. You have to stand up to your mother. This is your wife the mother of your child. You choose her to be your wife for many good reasons. I assume those reasons are worth your efforts to protect her. As a husband she expects you to stand up for her. She moved far to be with you and didn't ask to be put into your family's turmoil. Your mother has put you in a position of picking sides. You may want to ask her why she has done this and why she feels the need to discuss family issues with the neighbors. I would tell her from now on you do not want to discuss anything that pertains to your wife with her until things get better. If she attempts to do so you simply state you do not want to discuss it and walk away. Your wife is waiting on you to resolve this.

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