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What to expect with marriage counseling?
January 17, 2011
7:00 am
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alvin
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As I've indicated in my first post, my wife and I are trying to make our marriage work and we have come down to seeking professional help.  We are currently looking into marriage counseling.  But what can we expect?

January 17, 2011
10:17 am
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iphone4
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This is a very broad question.  But let me try to answer this.  Well, for one, you should expect to work hard.  Marriage counseling is hard work as making a marriage work is hard work.  It's not just a time for you to talk, but also to listen.  And understand.  

As for the session itself, understand that if you paid for an hour, it usually means that the session itself is around 45 to 50 minutes long.  The remaining time is spent for the counselor to finish up his or her notes or prepare for the next session.

January 17, 2011
10:17 am
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iphone4
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I hope that I answered your question right 🙂

January 19, 2011
6:45 am
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BettyAnn
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When I went to marriage counseling with my ex, the counselor basically would point us in the direction of what to talk about and then we would each take turns explaining how we felt about said topic. You should be honest and take this time to say what's really on your mind. Good luck! I hope it works out for you and your wife 🙂

January 19, 2011
7:25 am
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mimimimi
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January 19, 2011
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iphone4 said:

This is a very broad question.  But let me try to answer this.  Well, for one, you should expect to work hard.  Marriage counseling is hard work as making a marriage work is hard work.  It's not just a time for you to talk, but also to listen.  And understand.  

As for the session itself, understand that if you paid for an hour, it usually means that the session itself is around 45 to 50 minutes long.  The remaining time is spent for the counselor to finish up his or her notes or prepare for the next session.


I agree.  But never accept that a counselor is late for your appointment.  He or she may be late once or twice during your sessions, but if he or she is late EVERY single time, complain about it.
We had a counselor before who was always 15 to 30 minutes late and we paid by the hour.  I thought that was normal, but it really isn't.  Change counselors if your current one doesn't respect your time.
January 19, 2011
9:49 am
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beatrize
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January 19, 2011
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I do have a question about what to expect. I've always thought that marriage counselors always saw you both at the same time... but I know of some who don't.

January 19, 2011
12:40 pm
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jenniferaniston
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This is a matter of preference, actually. Some might want to see you both as a couple, while others may prefer to get each one's perspective first. This is also a good way to avoid fighting between the two of you, especially in the initial stages of the counseling process.

January 19, 2011
1:29 pm
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Rhyannon
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The one I went to I saw by myself once and together as well. She asked a lot of questions and basically I felt like she was trying to get us to figure out what to do. I am not sure if that is normal or what as I haven't gone to another one.

January 20, 2011
12:25 pm
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6yroldkid
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January 20, 2011
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During the first session, you might be asked to take some tests or forms. These would help your counselor evaluate your marital problems more fully. You will also be asked why you're seeing a counselor. After this, you should expect another session within the week or the next week. Counselors usually want to see you as often as possible with as little time in between during the first few months... it will taper off as time goes by.

January 20, 2011
2:40 pm
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Alise
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I think a counselor that asks a lot of questions would be a good one. The counselor is not there to fix your marriage; he or she is there to help you figure out how you can fix your marriage. Good luck to you both!

January 20, 2011
6:35 pm
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yecharu
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January 20, 2011
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Though not really written in stone, your counselor might be ready with a "treatment plan" by the second or third session.  From there on, you can expect to be guided through your treatment plan, motivated well enough and helped out if you get stuck.  You will each report your own failures and successes with regards to the plan and the steps you need to take.  You should see some improvements in your marriage by the fourth session or so, though it's not going to be an easy ride all throughout.  There are weeks that you'd be happy and some when you'd be miserable.  It's normal.

You will also take to liking your counselor over time.  

When do you end your counseling sessions??? Well, it's a decision that only you and your spouse could answer.

January 20, 2011
6:36 pm
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yecharu
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Alise said:

I think a counselor that asks a lot of questions would be a good one. The counselor is not there to fix your marriage; he or she is there to help you figure out how you can fix your marriage. Good luck to you both!


I think that a good counselor would actually try to suggest some ways to fix your marriage.  I'd be disappointed if mine didn't!

January 28, 2011
9:15 am
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hiddenobject
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You are seeking out marriage counseling. This means you have a problem in your marriage. A marriage counselor could help you and your partner discover what the problem(s) are and explore options so that both of you could work towards a solution. Marriage counselors can help facilitate communication.

September 25, 2012
10:50 pm
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Curtis Baker
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You have provided an indication that what want to save your wedding. Therefore you are preceding wedding counseling currently. This will bring positivity in your life and also reduce the factors which have earlier effected with married life earlier.

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