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No clue anymore.
October 10, 2014
2:29 am
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gunnerinsc
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I was 8 months pregnant with our third child when I found out my husband was cheating on me. We reconciled I though. After I had our daughter on his birthday 2 weeks later he left me and moved in with her ( He did support us financially the whole time) A few weeks later he moved back in and we continued to fix our marriage. Finally I guess the guilt became to much he moved into our vacation home. Refuses to say I love you to me. We stay at each others places every now and then and are intimate. I have told him to go ahead and file for divorce ( I cant bring myself to do it). I have tried the no contact I texted him that we needed to just cut off and not speak unless about the children and he freaked out when I blocked him showed up at the house asking me to come stay with him. He wont go to marriage counseling and he has it in his head that he loves this other girl who basically told him to kill himself. Am I holding on for nothing?

October 10, 2014
3:21 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Sorry hard to understand when you say "he moved in with her", do you mean your daughter or another woman?  Any person unwilling to go to marriage counselling & make a concerted effort to at least improve a problem within a marriage is a coward & in my opinion is living in perpetual denial.  It's your choice to continue to live the control game with him & sleep with him, & love who he is.  You should not text your intention to divorce.  I find it funny how a couple can contemplate divorce via text message yet somehow are able to continue to be intimate.  If he can't say I love you to his wife, why is he sleeping with her?  I know the world is kind of mixed up right now, but without the help of a counsellor how can this situation improve?  If you cannot think of anything else, consider what your daughter might have to endure because of your troubles.

October 10, 2014
3:55 am
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gunnerinsc
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We have 3 daughters. He moved in with the other woman then moved back home with me when she wanted him to disconnect from me and the kids. Hes living on his own at another place. I have never told him I wanted a divorce I told him to divorce me if he wants ( I cant seem to do it) My whole thing with the text was to let him see how its going to be without contact. We are actually seperated why not really go all the way and have no contact except for the kids. Because thats how its really going to be when where divorced.

October 11, 2014
7:04 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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It is a little absurd for you to think that just because you are separated or divorced that there will never be even just minimal contact.  Mostly because of the children you created together.  Especially if they are still children.  If they are full adults, & they have already created a life of their own outside of your home, then yes, it would not be difficult for you to never have to relate to him again, nor him to you.   It seems to me that neither of you are willing to let go.  Again, it is not healthy for the children to see the two of you as intimate partners one minute & then him being with another woman & them thinking you are separated & on route to divorce.  Again, if this man/husband of yours is sleeping both with you & another woman or other women, don't you think you owe it to yourself & your children to let go?

October 17, 2014
11:11 am
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edward745
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October 17, 2014
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agreed 

It is a little absurd for you to thinkhttp://www.vcefile.com/study-guides/opening-vce-files.html that just because you are separated or divorced that there will never be even just minimal contact.  Mostly because of the children you created together.  Especially if they are still children.

 

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