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Newlywed an my husband is never home please advice!
June 29, 2012
9:20 pm
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sabbathcat12
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June 29, 2012
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I'm 32 years old and I´ve been married for just one year, when we got married I was 5 months pregnant with my baby girl Valentina, the next month she had to be taken out of me, I had a stillbirth, I never got to see her or hold her, I am still crushed, on medications and therapy since I haven't been able to cope with her sudden death, fyi I had a natural birth, meaning I had to push her outside of me. At first my husband totally ignored me and my pain,, I couldn't sleep or eat and I tried to kill myself but it didn't worked out and as a result they put me in a psychiatric hospital for over a week, then my husband realized what he was doing and that we both needed to bond as a couple and we stayed most of our time together, now hé's acting the same, or even worse, he comes home at 10 pm almost everyday, he says he's been working late, everyday. Today its 11:20 pm and he's not here as usual, I´ve beenn calling him he doesn't answer, I feel completely alone and I've been thinking about killing myself, I had told him and he does´'t believe me, he makes fun at me,says really cruel and mean things, on june 12 it was our daughter's birth-death 1 year anyversary, that day he was nice to me, but what about these days? he just doesn't care about me and he thinks our home is a hotel, he just comes late and immediately falls asleep, he never calls me or anything, I'm always home, all I do is go to my job and get home just to be with my cat and her newborn kittens, I talk to my cat instead of actually talking to my husband, I cry everyday but he doesn't seem to notice and if he does notices he just don't care, whenever I try to talk to him about paying more attention to me he just picks up fights about somenthing I did in the past, he's going through a rough time with his family and I have stood right next to him every single time, but when it comes to me he can hear me cry outloud and doesn't even bother to hug me or anything, I can't remember when was the last time he kissed me, I had some troubles with my car and I asked my father to help me, he did, but he asked what about your husband, he can't help? I felt miserable and just told my dad that my husband didn't have the time, I feel hopeless, alone as hell please, please help me, I really don't want to try to kill myself again, mostly because of my parents

July 1, 2012
3:43 pm
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dop
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December 20, 2011
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I am so sorry to here what has happened. The pain of loosing your baby and the emptiness you feel is wearing on you. It has brought you to a point of hopelessness. You function but no one knows the pain that lies beneath. You have gone to long alone and detached. It is time for you to take care of yourself and no one else can do it but you. You have already proved you can, you have managed to return to work and carry on your daily responsibilities in the face of an extraordinary situation. That proves you can survive. You spoke of your father, I am not sure what your relationship is with him but if it were me I would want to know. It is time for a father to rescue his daughter. Connect with your family and find a friend that will listen. A counselor can help you sort this out. Once you have reclaimed yourself you will then know whether your relationship with your husband is worth pursuing. Keep your cat and new born kittens close, they need you.

Let us know how you are doing.

July 7, 2012
3:54 pm
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sabbathcat12
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I´m worse today all I have done is cry, he came with his friend, always with his fucking friend! he saw that I was crying, I've been crying for 3 hours non stop, he asked me why I was crying but I didn't answer, he just turned around and went downstairs with his friend and beers, he doesn't give a shit! I hate him now! he doesn't care or realize what I'm worth and how lonely he will be when I'm gone, I'll be gone of this planet, I want to be with my baby! He can hear me crying and throwing stuff and he´s still downstairs!! I really want to break everything here, I want to die so bad

September 12, 2012
9:39 pm
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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sabbathcat12,

 

Do you think there's a 3rd party involved?. I'm really sorry to say this but I think there's something wrong and there's really ain't right with him. He's been ignoring you that is far away different from what a husband should behave. It might be best to seek the support of a marriage counselor so you can figure it out what's lacking in your marriage or what are his issues and concerns. That way, you'll both know if there are still reasons for you to hold on to your relationship as husband and wife. Marriage is a lifetime commitment but there's no way it can be justified if you continue to live that way.

 

Stay strong and wishing you well.

September 13, 2012
3:53 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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January 18, 2012
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I have said this before, but here it is again: some men when they marry are seriously not mature enough to understand the particular outcome of an action taken by both them & their wives.  If things change physically or emotionally for the woman they married, they cannot handle these new changes effectively because they never reached a level of maturity growing up that would have given them the tools they needed to sustain those changes and be supportive of their wife.  I repeat, not all men lack this maturity, just some.  It sounds like you married one of those guys.  His solution is to retreat & deny the obvious problems right in front of him.  This is a sad reality for many couples that are fine until something tragic or difficult situation happens within their marriage.  He missed something essential in his upbringing.  Just try to remember that you are not responsible for his immaturity nor are you responsible for helping him to grow up into the man that he should be.  I am sorry that you are suffering.  I cannot even fathom what is must feel like to lose an unborn child, but in a way, you have been spared from a life where you would have been both a Mother and a Father to this child, trust me on that.  Please look carefully at your situation right now.  Is this the man that you want in your life to have a family with?  Will he be able to support you and be a good father to the children you might have in the future?  Or will you be the only responsible parent and person in the marriage?  I see only that this tragedy of you losing the baby is a wake up call for you.  You deserve better from your husband & he has an enormous amount of growing up to do.

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