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needing sincere show of intimacy
January 9, 2015
10:20 am
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ginger0784
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January 8, 2015
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When I started dating and having sex with Alvin( my husband of 10 years now!).I had my first orgasm that wasn't self administered! At 27 years old! I had been married before..had 3 kids and was so sexually clueless. I always knew that I got bored quickly in relationships because I never felt satisfied . Alvin was and still is a Very sexual man...he brought ROCKY ROAD into my always vanilla sex life...... starting with interracial hardcore porn...I learned just how clueless I really was .. and I also learned that the more I learned the more it turned him on and that I was getting off getting him off. I realized that even though he watched them he had never really been comfortable enough to show his FREAKY side until me....after about 5 years the new started to wear off for me....I had honed my skills very well in a short amount of time...he was now receiving deep throat oral sex on a regular basis .......having sex every night, sometimes all night on the weekends... 3somes with another woman and myself....breaking me in for anal sex 3 to 4 times a month..... I tried telling him how I felt.....sick of playing g the whore...tired of the routine fuck down......needed something......during a very heated argument he told me to go find it!!!! Which with a very resentful attitude and on a mission to find it.....I had a very enlightening affair with a man who showed me intimacy!!!!! Holy shit!!!! He made ME FEEL GOOD....APPRECIATED....... a man with a slow hand and an eagerness to arouse me...to not rush or be rough.....to get me off and not expect his own reward.... and considering all that my husband and I had done...I confessed to him what I'd done and learned I was needing him to show me occasionally...... we agreed to work on teaching him intimacy...which lasted 2 nights....after that it was back to WHORETOWN for us.... I have told him , wrote him, cried to him, begged him to help me help us bring more to our bed than his idea of 5 minute coerced and unstimulating foreplay!!!! I feel like after all we have been through and knowing what kindof tormented childhood I endured that he should want to show me compassion and respect and love and above all else empathy......instead he gets defensive and sulks about until he gives in a few nights later with another half passed attempt at 5 min. Foreplay... followed by me faking it just to get it over with!!!!! What do I do?????? I will not leave him.....I do truly love him and he does love me unconditionally........ porn has addled his brain and distorted any notions or views he has about marital relations....... PLEASE ....SOMEONE HELP ME HELP US! WE BOTH DESERVE IT ....JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET IT

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