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My wife hates my mother
December 23, 2015
8:27 pm
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blindshade
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December 23, 2015
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My wife absolutely despises my mother. This however has not always been the case though. Prior to last year we used to visit my parents house at least once a week usually on Sunday after church and just hang out for a couple of hours. My parents house is the gathering place for most all holidays, kids parties, birthdays ect. so this was always an enjoyable place for me to visit not only to see my parents but my brothers, cousins, aunts ect. It was not uncommon that after one of our visits on our way home my wife would make the dreaded comment to me "did you notice how..." "did you hear what your mother said" and my response was usually no or I don't think she meant it that way. My input was usually enough to ease my wife's anger about what ever was said. Then the complaints about my mother become more frequent and stronger where I would be much more vigilant of every word from my mother to notice if I would hear or see some of my wife's complaints. Last November as we were preparing to eat dinner the door bell rang at my house and I noticed prior to opening the door it was my parents making a random visit. My wife begged me not to answer the door but I just felt awful about doing that and against her wishes let them in. My wife as usual made an effort to be very welcoming and was showing my mother some mason jars she had just bought and some of the natural fruit drinks she had made. My mother went on to talk about how her sister uses these mason jars a lot and commented "did you know they had to be cleaned really well prior to use?" I figured my wife would get upset at that comment insinuating my wife did not already know that so I immediately interviewed and told my mother of course she knows that and can we stop talking about these stupid jars! This as they say was the straw that broke the camels back. The arguing after my parents left was so bad between me and my wife that she basically kicked me out. After she calmed down on the 3rd day and on my way home I called my mother to tell her we would not be going over to visit for a while until things got better. It has now been over a year since we visited my parents and the pure rage my wife has for my mother had only intensified as time goes on. During that time we met once with my parents at a park because my wife refused to go to their house to discuss these issues. The result was my wife walking away because she felt my mother showed no remorse. Full disclosure, we have gone to marriage counseling about 10 times in the last couple of years and sometimes seems to help but other times like the last one just brings back too many emotions for my wife and then the arguing follows. The comments that my wife feels so devastated by to me are mildly offensive at worst but I try to show support and understanding but I believe my wife wants me to have the same intense rage for my mother that she does. My mother who used to call me 2-3 a week no longer calls knowing we have problems, not even when she was at the hospital having shoulder surgery but my wife says she is trying to make me feel guilty by not calling. Throught this last year my wife has found reasons to hate my entire family to the point that there better not me a phone call or dear god forgive a visit to my parents house or we will be arguing for days! I have only seen my parents a couple of times is the last year and those are the times where our arguing is so bad I leave the house. my wife is everything I ever wanted minus this issue with my mom and she is the best mother in the world to our daughter but she simply refuses to drop this issue and take a step forward. My frustration and anger is that I feel I have put my parents and extended family to the side for long enough but I see absolutely no end to this. What eats me inside is the fact that if I want peace in our marriage I better not see or speak to my parents and not that I need to but as a man being told it is very hard to take that. My wife is the younger of 10 kids and she absolutely loves to be around her family and I try but my wife brings up how angry I look around them because she gets to enjoy her family and I cannot. The only time we talk about my mother is when my wife brings it up and will assuredly result in an argument, what can I do to remedy our situation and help my wife get passed this rage for my mother?

December 25, 2015
10:08 am
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2013ways
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March 31, 2017
1:36 pm
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anonym7
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March 29, 2017
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hello friend. just read your post and am in a similar situation.... wanted to know how things are going now with you?

September 16, 2017
2:27 am
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RubyBrooklyn133
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September 16, 2017
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