Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
My wife doesn't know if she loves me anymore
July 13, 2013
8:20 pm
Avatar
chris90nz
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
July 13, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi. My wife and I are 21 & 22 respectively. We have known each other since high school and have been in a relationship for 4.5 years, married for just over a year. We live together and both work full time during the day. Lately she has been distant and wants to be left alone. Last night she came out and told me she was talking to a guy on the internet and he was making her happy (and he likes her). She confessed she was unhappy and doesn't know what to do. I tried to be ok about it and said that I only want her to be happy. Today she decided to stop talking to him, in favour of working on our marriage. This was hard for her. We had a big conversation about why she isn't happy (many tears). I am very happy, and did not realise she felt this way. There is something else going on in her life right now, which is why I thought she was being distant, to deal with THAT. I suggested maybe she was feeling like this because we have known each other for so long and have lived together the past 2.5 years, that we are just getting boring and it's not exciting. I said maybe that is why you like this guy on the internet, because he is new, and she agreed. She said she loves me (even though she said before that she didn't know) and that maybe we should live apart. She has since gone to her friends house for the evening and maybe to stay the night. She said she was worried about leaving me alone and that I should call her in the evening (it is 4pm now). I am in complete shock right now as I thought everything was perfect. I really don't know what to do. I suggested counselling before she left, and she said she would be willing to try it.

So I guess my question is: In marriage, is there always a point when you realise there is nothing new, and you know the other person 100%? Then this makes everything boring as you know what will happen? How do you get through this? Especially when (I hope) both people still love each other.

I have been trying to do more things with her, such as going to the local roller-durby, going for drives etc because I knew that she was bored. But it obviously hasn't helped.

If somebody could give me some pointers or advise, I would be forever greatful.

Chris

July 14, 2013
5:53 am
Avatar
onedaythiswillpass
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1134
Member Since:
January 18, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Chris,

well at least you are trying to make things better in whatever way that you can.  Marriage therapy & trying out new things is a good way to start.  Do you know if your wife is cheating on you?  If she was, then perhaps you might want to consider a separation if you have been faithfull.  It's hard to imagine or believe, but sometimes for some reaon, the love just stops for one side of the union.  What do you think made your relationship so good at the beginning?  Maybe you could think back & try to rekindle that spark.  It might be too late if her heart belongs to this other man.

 

One Day

July 14, 2013
1:19 pm
Avatar
chris90nz
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
July 13, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi One Day,

this person lives in a different country, so she hasn't been cheating on me. She has admitted she liked 'the idea of him' as opposed to him himself. She came home last night (rang me and asked to be picked up) and she said that she is comitted to making our marriage work. We are about to move house as we really don't like our current one, and she is looking forward to the move.

I hope this is just a (big) hiccup and that we can keep this going.

Chris

July 14, 2013
2:03 pm
Avatar
onedaythiswillpass
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1134
Member Since:
January 18, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That's is just wonderful news.  Congratulations & best wishes for a wonderful marriage.

 

One Day

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
24
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111163
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen, eyeconcepts, junwork52
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information