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My husband doesn't understand how I feel. Am I wrong?
August 19, 2015
4:55 am
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veronica
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August 19, 2015
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My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. We are, for the most part, very happy together. It hasn't always been this way. My husband is an alcoholic and we were separated for almost two years because he was emotionally and physically abusive. I had to leave for the sake of our children. We reconciled two years ago and have a beautiful 6 month old baby girl. Our other two children are 8 and 10. My husband has been sober for two years. He found a relationship with his savior and turned his life around. We thank God every day. I also have a 10 year old stepdaughter that I love very much. I have been in her life since she was 6 months old. She is amazing. We have her most of the time because of the schedule her mother works. When she was little, we had almost all the time because her mother was not there for her. She would get her every now and then. We preferred it like that because we could provide her with some stability. My husband is a very good father. He does everything he can for his children. I love that about him. We have also taken in my stepdaughter's sister. She is five. We have her every time we have my stepdaughter. It is usually five days a week. My issue is that my husband will do whatever he can to make life easy for their mother. He bends over backward to make sure she is okay. He cuts her grass because she won't. Her house is filthy. She won't allow us in there because it is so bad. We found out that my stepdaughter has been sleeping on a mattress on the floor at her house for several years and has to keep all of her clothes in a plastic bin. We are getting her furniture now. Her mother and sister have furniture, but she does not. She needs internet to do her homework so we asked her mother how much it would be so we could pay for it, and she owes the company $400. My husband now wants to pay that off for her. He talks about getting her carpet replaced because my stepdaughter says it is very nasty. We take my stepdaughters sister everywhere with us on vacation. I love that little girl, but it gets expensive. I don't think that is even my issue. I feel like their mother takes advantage of my husband's kindness and I think my husband feels sorry for her. When I was out of work for a year, she would call me when she needed something done. It didn't bother me so much back then because I was handling it all. I never told her no, but it made me feel more secure for her to come to me. Now that I am back working, she calls him for everything. We have had so many problems with her and how she takes care of those girls. We found out she wasn't bathing them or making them brush their teeth. She was making them wear dirty clothes and letting them stay up all night when they had school. Her priorities are mixed up. I am very cordial to her when I see her, but it is eating me alive. He is sooo nice to her. It kills me. I feel like he disregards how I feel, but caters to her every whim. And to be honest, I don't fear that he will cheat on me. I'm not at all worried about that. I just hate that they are close. He says they are not, but she talks to him about everything, even about the men she dates. I pray and pray and continue to pray for God to give me peace in my heart about this. I even pray for her. I know that my husband thinks he is doing the right thing. Maybe he is, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel like it is dividing us. When I have said something about it, he gets very upset. He says I need to pray and that I have issues. My husband treats my stepdaughter like the golden child because I guess he feels like he has to overcompensate for her mother not being a good mother. Our kids notice the difference and it worries me. Even though she is there almost all the time, he cuts her so much more slack than he does our children. Someone please help me.

September 7, 2015
4:10 am
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Sylvia Smith
Los Angeles, CA 90045, USA
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You are not wrong. I understand that this closeness bothers you. Your husband seems like a very caring and good human being. He is a great father as he cares deeply for his children. You too seem to be a great wife - who understands her partner and is sorted about her feelings. Please appreciate yourself for your qualities. As far as this issue is concerned, you need to be clear with your husband that such closeness with his ex is not acceptable at all. Tell him that you do understand that he needs to be there for the children but talking to her every single day is not needed at all. You seem to be someone who is very accepting and accomodating. Do not get too accomodating. Do not let them think that everything goes with her as she is so 'understanding'. It is important to put your foot down and let them know how you feel as well. You need to let you husband know, in a nice way, that if he continues being so supportive, then his ex-wife will never learn to take responsibility at improving the situation for her kids. After all, they are hers too and your husband cannot do all the work all the time....

April 21, 2016
1:56 pm
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lucianaTP
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April 21, 2016
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veronica said

My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. We are, for the most part, very happy together. It hasn't always been this way. My husband is an alcoholic and we were separated for almost two years because he was emotionally and physically abusive. I had to leave for the sake of our children. We reconciled two years ago and have a beautiful 6 month old baby girl. Our other two children are 8 and 10. My husband has been sober for two years. He found a relationship with his savior and turned his life around. We thank God every day. I also have a 10 year old stepdaughter that I love very much. I have been in her life since she was 6 months old. She is amazing. We have her most of the time because of the schedule her mother works. When she was little, we had almost all the time because her mother was not there for her. She would get her every now and then. We preferred it like that because we could provide her with some stability. My husband is a very good father. He does everything he can for his children. I love that about him. We have also taken in my stepdaughter's sister. She is five. We have her every time we have my stepdaughter. It is usually five days a week. My issue is that my husband will do whatever he can to make life easy for their mother. He bends over backward to make sure she is okay. He cuts her grass because she won't. Her house is filthy. She won't allow us in there because it is so bad. We found out that my stepdaughter has been sleeping on a mattress on the floor at her house for several years and has to keep all of her clothes in a plastic bin. We are getting her furniture now. Her mother and sister have furniture, but she does not. She needs internet to do her homework so we asked her mother how much it would be so we could pay for it, and she owes the company $400. My husband now wants to pay that off for her. He talks about getting her carpet replaced because my stepdaughter says it is very nasty. We take my stepdaughters sister everywhere with us on vacation. I love that little girl, but it gets expensive. I don't think that is even my issue. I feel like their mother takes advantage of my husband's kindness and I think my husband feels sorry for her. When I was out of work for a year, she would call me when she needed something done. It didn't bother me so much back then because I was handling it all. I never told her no, but it made me feel more secure for her to come to me. Now that I am back working, she calls him for everything. We have had so many problems with her and how she takes care of those girls. We found out she wasn't bathing them or making them brush their teeth. She was making them wear dirty clothes and letting them stay up all night when they had school. Her priorities are mixed up. I am very cordial to her when I see her, but it is eating me alive. He is sooo nice to her. It kills me. I feel like he disregards how I feel, but caters to her every whim. And to be honest, I don't fear that he will cheat on me. I'm not at all worried about that. I just hate that they are close. He says they are not, but she talks to him about everything, even about the men she dates. I pray and pray and continue to pray for God to give me peace in my heart about this. I even pray for her. I know that my husband thinks he is doing the right thing. Maybe he is, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel like it is dividing us. When I have said something about it, he gets very upset. He says I need to pray and that I have issues. My husband treats my stepdaughter like the golden child because I guess he feels like he has to overcompensate for her mother not being a good mother. Our kids notice the difference and it worries me. Even though she is there almost all the time, he cuts her so much more slack than he does our children. Someone please help me.

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April 25, 2016
10:45 pm
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Hationest79
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I can understand your feeling. There is nothing wrong in your part.

May 8, 2016
3:38 am
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dixdruce
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May 8, 2016
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Dr. Wakina please help, I need my husband back to be a King to me and our children and also treat me like a Queen, was my request to the greatest spell doctor via *[email protected]* His love spell helped me to regain my King for eternity, we have already forgotten we had issues in the past.
I decided to share this review because it’s worth sharing, a spell doctor I haven’t met before brought back the man that did not want me 3 months ago because things were not getting any better between us and we haven’t made love for 4 months, but he was glad with that and moved on with his life. He told me he is done and advised me to file for divorce. He told me he will only care for our children and he stopped loving me since December last year. It made me cry and I told him that he will love me again before he asked me to go to hell.
Am happy my wishes was granted when all hope was lost. Thank you so much Dr. Wakina. <3

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