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Lost that feeling
March 23, 2016
4:59 pm
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rperryta
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March 23, 2016
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By all accounts, my family and I have a good life. I am the sole income, transitioning between careers (working both from home), we make decent money, but aren't really getting ahead either. We live in a nice area, have a nice house, and just overall do pretty good for ourselves. When we are with our kids (adolescent and tweens), the mood is usually fairly lively and light-hearted. But when my wife and I are alone, there just isn't much spark or fire. My wife has some health issues, nothing serious or life threatening, but it causes her to sleep horribly at night, which in turn causes her to feel drained during the day. There is just never a time where she has any gas in the tank left for me. Our sex life has gone from 2-4 times per week to 2-4 times per month, and half the time I feel guilty because I don't think she really has the energy or desire, but does it out of her own guilt.

I know her health is not her fault, and she really does take good care of herself. But as she gets run down, she has such a sharp edge to her, and she is just so critical. It really has been this way for a very long time, and most of it was in retaliation to my own treatment of her I am sure. But the last few years we have changed so much of our lives, and I have changed so much of the way that I treat her, but this is our big weakness. When I finally get her past the moment, whatever she is being critical about, she says that she recognizes how she treats me, but the apology seems half-hearted. In the moment, when I tell her I don't like being treated that way, she gets upset, and then either goes silent, or points to the past.

I live my entire life for my family and for work. There is no time or money for me to do something that I want to do, unless it fits with what the whole family wants to do. People that I engage with at work are my "friends", but nothing outside of that. Our alone time is often in bed watching the news or tv shows. I'd rather not, but I know that she really doesn't have the energy or desire for more.

There is no affection from her anymore, and hasn't been in a long time. At times, she is receptive of my affection, other times she seems burdened by it, so I stop. I feel like I could even get past these feelings if I had something else to do with my time, but I work 2 full time jobs already, and I'm just feeling burned out. What I want most is the refueling love of my wife, but instead, I feel like she needs me to invest in her too. Meanwhile, my tank is running dry, and no one is putting anything back in me. I'm just tired of being frustrated.

March 23, 2016
6:17 pm
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Ccall
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March 23, 2016
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Have you listened to her problems, concerns lately? Have you done anything to surprise her? Romance her? Do things for her to take the strain off her?
You won her by courting her. That's when she was the most inspired, sexual, romantic woman you fell in love with? Do it again! Be consistent with it. If she says no, pursue her gently. Persuade her! She's the girl of your dreams, treat her as such.

March 27, 2016
8:36 am
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sketchie
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February 14, 2015
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When passion is gone love dies, time to make your own plans. You deserve a woman who will love you the way you want to be loved.

You can say anything about me, but I am who I am & that’s something you could never be.
My name is what hoes tend to mention, keep talking bitches, I love the attention. →

March 28, 2016
9:38 pm
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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Ccall has a warm advice. Have you tried consulting a marriage counselor? that may help you both with your issues as husband and wife. If you can, discuss it all out and maybe that will break the distance between you and your wife. When a woman gave birth, her body clock and immune system in general is far different from what she was before marriage. Women suffer great loss when she's near menopausal stage so let's be considerate. A woman deserves to be loved unconditionally despite the internal and external changes that will happen to her life (behavior, aging, sexual capability and more).

April 9, 2016
11:22 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Shining Light,
Unfortunately that is the way that person approaches every heartfelt and earnest post on this site. Someone should get that person the help they themselves keep posting. It seems all that person can do is bully other people. I thought this was a place where that kind of abuse was not tolerated. This person has deep seated issues with anger and uses offensive quotes after each post that he/she replies to. They pretty much attack me or anyone who tries to show any level of compassion to people who are simply trying to share some of their issues. People know where to seek professional help and it should be up to them if they choose to reach out to others on this site. That person has no right mistreating anyone who posts or tries to reply. It really would be in the interest of everyone if this person was dealt with.

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