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I'm his only obstacle...
January 31, 2012
10:07 am
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justme8
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January 31, 2012
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So, we've been married almost 7 years. We currently live on the west coast, but spent four years in Texas. Moved back to be near all our family. Been back 2 years now. Have 3 kids. They've been moved to different different schools. They're happy where we are now. Husband says he wants to move back to TX, but I don't want to. We made decision to move back here and I don't want kids to switch schools anymore or be taken away from their huge family here. I feel like I'm my husband's only obstacle from happiness. 🙁 there's so much more to the story, too. We separated in Sep. He moved to his own apartment. A few weeks later, he attempted to overdose on Meds. Been in intensive therapy since then. I feel extremely pressured. Don't want him to ever do that again, but I feel like moving back to TX would just ne running from problems. I asked him to go to couples therapy and he said no. He hates his job and where we live and says it doesn't matter to him if we leave our family. What can I do?

January 31, 2012
12:09 pm
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onedaythiswillpass
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January 18, 2012
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What you can do right away is go to therapy for yourself.  Get yourself someone professional to help you with these issues or at least to speak to so that you can cope with raising the children in a peaceful manner.  I do not know the ages of your children, but if they have all grown up in that very same neighbourhood and they are happy and thriving, then he is not correct to say that you are his only obstacle.  Don't the children have a say in the matter?  From experience I can tell you how traumatic it is for an adolescent or teen to be uprooted from his neighbourhood, school or lifelong friendships.

Go seek the help of your own counselling.  Do it for yourself and your children.  How can your husband refuse counselling yet expect you to just pack up and leave?

This is just my opinion.

February 14, 2012
12:44 pm
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wirunner
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February 14, 2012
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There are some serious problems here that you cannot fix. You are right in staying and by uprooting everyone again that will not solve anything. You didn't break it and you can't fix it. Get some help for yourself and don't wait for things to get any worse. You cannot control his erratic behavior or poor choices. It sounds like he is trying to keep you off center and keep you caring for him. Sounds like codependency. Read up on it and get out if that's what it takes to start to make healthy decisions for yourself and your kids.

May 31, 2012
1:47 am
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ShiningLight
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justme8,

 

What kind of husband he is to risk the future of his children just to fulfill his own interests? I guess that's selfishness. Yes, consult a counselor for your problems and you'll be given proper guidance and advice on what to do. He might have his problems on his own and he can't just figure it out this time so give him more space and time. You can also seek some support relating to his condition if by any chance you still want to help him or you're hoping that your marriage could be saved. BUT never compromise on letting the future of your kids to be confusing. During this time, their education and growing up stage are more important than anything else.

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