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I need help.
August 5, 2012
5:19 am
New Member
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
August 5, 2012
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I have a lot to say that I've never told anyone in my life before and I need serious help. When I was 8 years old, I was molested regularly by my neighbor who was 4 years older than me. My sex life has been a mess ever since I hit maturity, I've been addicted to porn and masturbation for as long as I can remember. It has caused huge issues in my marriage, I haven't told my wife about my molestation as a kid. I've never told anyone, I'm too ashamed of it. Now I just feel like a pervert. My wife is about to leave me because of my addictions, and no matter how hard I've tried and how much I've wanted to stop, I now realize that I cannot do it without help. My wife is the love of my life and I cannot lose her to this. I need help to stop this cycle. Porn and masturbation have become my way of dealing with stress, whenever I get stressed out, I sink back into it. I want to stop this, I need to stop it, for the sake of my marriage and my kids. I want to tell my wife but I can't bring myself to do it. She already thinks I'm a sex addicted pervert and I fear that telling her will make it even worse.

August 5, 2012
7:29 am
Forum Posts: 1134
Member Since:
January 18, 2012
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Most people who have active addictions need the support of a group or therapist or counselor to overcome their addiction/compulsion. With some addictions daily connection to a group which is also trying to recover from a similar problem may be required. If you have already admitted here on this site that you have a problem with sex & excessive porn watching, then you have taken the first giant step. If you cannot tell your wife at this time, its o.k. Likely she is aware that something is not right. Don't worry about it. Tell your wife that you are going to seek out professional help and do it. Also, you can seek the support of a 12 step program which is anonymous and has the capacity to deal with many issues with members who will lend support on a daily basis provided you are willing to be honest and follow their simple rules.
You should start by forgiving yourself. For whatever reason you started doing your addiction to cope with the hurt of the past, there is a way to learn to stop & have a life free from your addiction.
I hope you find the help you deserve to find & that you & your family function on a better level.

September 30, 2012
11:22 pm
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
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Telling your wife first is the best thing to do. You wouldn't have done any of those things if you were not molested when you were still young so don't blame yourself. Somehow that experience in your life affected your behavior. I guess your wife will consider and understand you the most so you just have to be honest with her. Tell her everything that you need to say and then ask her support regarding the professional help that you need. As her wife, she should be the first person to accept your past and understand what you've been through. That's only way you can fully overcome your problem about your behavioral addiction. When you get the chance, you can then consult a behavioral counselor/therapist for your condition. That way, proper treatment and advice will be given to you.

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