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I love my wife but she want to Separate
March 11, 2014
5:41 pm
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sqrd2008
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March 11, 2014
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My wife and I together 5 years, two breaks ups and then marriage. It
was rocky 2 weeks after our marriage. We had to sell the house in a
nice neighborhood because we both couldnt afford it any longer. She
told me she is mad at me because of this. We relocated to another
neighborhood and things just got worse.

Ever since I have known my wife she has wanted kids. I can not have
kids but we took the adoption route and also through the state. I took
the classes and asked if she wanted me at her appts. She always said no
need to go to the appts they werent that important. Later she would
say I didnt support her with adoption or took the initiative. I could
go either way having kids or not.

After we moved into our new house life wasnt great. Around Christmas we
both had a melt down. I asked why she married me and her response was
she didnt know. I took off for 6 hours and came home to a pissed off
wife. We said we would figure out divorce once the holidays were over. I
made every attempt to make things right.

Adoption is the key to making her happy. Months go by and nothing
really to do, I get a new job that doesnt pay anything and I become
depressed. She is making most of all the payments to the house and then
Christmas rolls around again. I make every attempt to buy her
something cool and she buys me an expensive watch.

Around this time after sex she asks if I was cheating on her and I found
it strange she would ask this right after love making. I started
thinking and I started snooping. She was late home Thursday night, went
straight from work to dinner with a girl friend that was here for the
weekend. Saturday i text her and she was in the mountains with this so
called friend. I was amp to firgure this out and come that Monday I
looked at her phone. There was an out of state number that read
Morning. I copied the number and all day tried to figure out who this
person was. Come to find out its a man that lives in TX but visits here
on business. So it all made since. This special friend was a guy so I
confronted her on this and she denied and pushed the guilt my way. I
have a lesbian friend that she knows about but keeps forgetting I say
hello from time to time. She went through my phone and saw I erased
text, which is true, only to hide the fact I am talking to my friend
about her.

My wife is freaking hot and has an amazing body. Her outside is
stunning but her inside is ugly. She hasnt been the nicest to me in the
past and I think her beauty out weighs her ugliness. She tells me she
isnt a very lovable person, she told me she wasnt inlove with me when we
got married. I would tell her she is the love of my life and she
wouldnt have a responce. After I confronted her we agreed to go to
counseling but only once. Before we couldnt make it to our next
appointment we talked and she wanted to separate. I quit my job and got
another in hopes to make admins. She told me I could stay there as long
as I wanted but it was taring me up inside.

2 weeks pass and she took a phone call late at night and I snooped, she
was talking then it stopped and I believe she was having phone sex. I
cant prove it but when your heart hurts this much I think I could
imagine anything. I cried my heart out and left to go somewhere but
ended up sleeping in my car. Went to work the next day and just was
blown away. I spoke with her again that following Thursday and said we
have to fight for this marriage. Said this our Ironman and there is
much work to be done before we can get to a finish line. I poured my
heart out and was called in to work on Saturday to be let go. Saying I
was to much of an emotional wreck. I went home broken and my wife got
home and I let it all out. First time I have ever cried on her
shoulder. She went out and got happy food and tried her best to help.

The following day I decided to snoop again on her computer and found an
email telling this guy she wants head over the hills love and not sure
he can provide her with that, left it open. She left for Crested Butte
for the weekend "alone" and I decided to email this to her. She wrote
back I am sorry. I started moving my things and before she got home I
was totally moved out. I had 2 panic attacks and hyperventilated and
thought I would die while she was away. I told her about this and she
said she cant get one weekend alone. I told her if she didnt write that
****ing email none of this would matter. I told her to **** off and
for being selfish. Later I gave her a hug and left.

Later I wrote her an email saying I will always and continue to love
you. Her reply was I love you too. She wants to separate to figure out
her feelings. She says she loves me but not inlove with me. I told
her what she wants to do, divorce or what and she says she doesnt know.
Today I text her because she was going in for IVF and said good luck.
She said thank you, I said I will pray this for you and said I love you.
No responce I said sorry that was to much I like you. She smiled and I
said which do you prefer, her response was Neither right now.

I am devastated, my heart is broke, stepped on and crushed. She doesnt
have any remorse or care it seems. I dont know what to do and how to do
it. I am on meds but they cant hide the fact how much pain I am in. I
dont understand how I could love someone who has been nothing but mean
to me.

April 1, 2014
5:32 am
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ShiningLight
Admin
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
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It might be best to consult a marriage counselor that can help you save your marriage. That way, you will both figure out what could be the  issues conflicting your married life and how to overcome those problems.

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