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I JUST DON'T GET IT.... so he says
September 26, 2011
10:12 am
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mstiggs
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September 26, 2011
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My fiance and I have been together for 9 years.     I've had communication issues in the past where he says that I am not really listening to him and the argument isn't about the petty stuff, it's a bigger picture.  I JUST DON"T GET IT! and we will argue about small things, but if I have an opinion or a view and it is negative or oppositional, he becomes aggravated and often refers to me as being ridiculous.  

I'm so confused right now because honestly at times he makes me think I'm a psycho and tells me I'm a lunatic.

Just today, we were discussing the fact that I asked him if I could spend some time with my friend to do some bridal things.  I never have time to myself ever, and I knew he may of had plans to go to the gym in the morning.  So I asked him if he was going and told him that I was trying to plan the day with one of my friends.  I asked if he could maybe take our son with him that one day and put him in the daycare.  He was aggravated, so I told him that it frustrates me that he has a whole day off and I never ask any favor ever or do anything for myself.  So in me saying that, that was it!  Because I felt disappointed by that, I am instantly wrong by feeling so.  Then he switched it around and said stuff like, if I ever did that to you you'd be pissed.  Right.  I'd be pissed if I had to move my gym work out to later so you could get some bridal stuff done.  I flipped out in the end because I'm always made to feel, no matter how softly I approach a topic, that I am some miserable bitchy person.  That I have no right to feel that way and he straight out tells me ....coldly, he doesn't understand and no, I can't relate to that feeling.  Basically, I feel any emotion that is negative no matter how slight,Cry is just blown way out of proportion and then I end up feeling like shit, because I can't express a damn particle of emotion.

the reason I flipped out during the argument is because he was recieting the conversation and told it like I was a mean bitch, basically telling him what I was doing without asking.  We have so many of these arguments I tread very lightly and am very mindful of how I approach things and that was just plain enough.  I try so hard sometimes I feel like I'm walkign on egg shells just so I don't come across as a nagging wench.

ps.  I rarely get mad, but sometimes I feel so helpless I snap and he makes me feel so ridiculous for feeling anything.

I don't know, I hope this makes sense to someone.  HELP!

September 27, 2011
11:09 pm
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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mstiggs,

 

You're right, it's just a communication gap between the two of you. Maybe you are communicating but you lack understanding and harmony to be able to relate to each other. Maybe you can consult a relationship counselor that can help you analyze of what's missing in your relationship. That way, you and your husband to be can have an intimate conversation about your feelings and his as well and maybe that can help you get to know each other better.

 

Hope that helps. Keep posting and take care!

October 4, 2012
12:34 am
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Curtis Baker
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A misunderstanding between you and fiancé has occurred because of your distance and communication gap. For a smooth relation it is essential for you to communicate with him in regular time interval so that you can resolve problems which occur between you and your love.

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