Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
I cant stand you anymore...
December 30, 2013
9:37 pm
Avatar
Undeadhusband
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
December 30, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Back story... I (26) met my wife(24) through a friend 2 and a half years ago, talked for a month or so before we actually hung out. The entire time it was like talking to myself. We really hit it off. When i finally convinced her to go out, we became inseperable from that point on. About 6 months later i asked her to marry me on our first anniversary. Shortly after the engagement we foundout we were expecting. I was very excited to be a father. She has a doughter at the time she was 4. Our son was born shortly after the wedding almost a month. Life was a dream, wonderful woman by my side, healthy and cute son, great paying job. To date my wife has told me three times that she hates me, a word i try not to use its very stong. And ive lost count of the times shes told me she doesnt want to be with me anymore. Even once recently she said your going to wake up one day and we'll be gone (her and the kids). I would never dream of talking to her like that. Were both very sexual people we've even had a threesome with another woman . So i know we trust eachother because that caused no problems

Some things about me personally. I have an attention problem if you dont grab my attention dont expect me to remember. Been that way my entire life. I despise doing dishes, ill snake a toilet or clean a septic system before i do dishes. I like boobs(i am male and cant help it)

Now for the problems....
1. I dont listen or remember anywhere close to what i should. I know it and i dont know how to fix it.
2. I once asked a girl on a website tumblr about the s&m lifestyle it was a lengthy conversation but nothing i found out of line (asking to meet up or have phone sex)
3. Ive only ever lied to my wife once, about a purchase i made. She busted me because i was acting like a tool. Since ive always felt like a dick whwn she says really?
4. Recently and ex GIRLFRIEND of mine contacted me on face book and like a dumbass i said goodbye using a name i only used with her. At any rate my wife found it because i wasnt hiding it from her and i leave my tablet at home. She was irate. Blaming me for the girl sending pictures (non vulger tattoo pics)and everything

My answers ive been using (clearly not working)
1. I cant help it please try to help me fix myself. Yell at me until you have my attention. Slap me, kick me, do anything but get mat because i dont do it intentionally
2. I understand it bothered you. Yes i should have talked to you about it first. I know we could have looked into it together, wont happen again.
3. It was stupid and im infinitely sorry
4. I crossed a line using the name. But my past is a part of me discussing my past with someone from it shouldnt be a problem its not there was anything sexual discussed. You cant blame me if she sends me pictures, i didnt ask for them. Furthermore she is me EX Girlfriend. I chose to marry you. I love you. She is nothing to me but a bad memory

That is how i handled those situations. I thought quite well but she continues to get mad at me over such ridiculous things.
Some examples. Our sone goes to.bed at 7:30 pm i work 8-4 mon-fri my wife gets out at 9 she gets so mad when the house is littered with toys. Well ive been working and playing.with the child since i got out when.he goes to sleep i relax a little. I usually always give her a hand when she grumpily begins to clean it.

Another strange thing. She always complains im not into sex like i used to (3 or more times a day) but also complains when i make a comment about sneaking away she says all you think about is sex. How does that even make any sense?

Sometimes i think she is bi-polar but every attempt to discuss this with her sparks another arguement

I love my wife with every fiber of my being shes made me so much better of a man in the short times we've been together yet i always piss her off so bad. I fear we are spiraling the drain and im going to lose her. I believe in the sanctity of marriage i want to, ive planned to, i hope i get to spend my life with my wife

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Sorry if i rambled on been looking.for a good forum for a month. (And i left out the tension with my wife and mother)
(Tons of spelling and grammatical errors due to the small keys on this smartphone.

Thank you again

January 1, 2014
6:00 am
Avatar
onedaythiswillpass
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1134
Member Since:
January 18, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am really quite speechless.

I am so proud of you that you believe in the sanctitiy of marriage.

The fact that your wife was cool with the threesome makes my heart flutter.

Obviously you are a great partner & husband.

2014 is going to be your very special year & your wife, the mother of your child has no reason to be upset with you.  You are a definite example of what it is to be a human being of honour.

January 2, 2014
11:39 am
Avatar
jesseyoungs87
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
January 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I disagree with One Day.  I'll give my opinion on your problems as you listed them. 

 

1.  There is something wrong here.  Someone having to yell, slap, kick, bite you to get your attention is not normal.  How do you hold a job if your boss or customer cant talk to you?  Or does it only happen with your wife?  

2.  A married man talking to a chick on the internet about S&M is definitely shaky territory.  If it truly was an innocent conversation on your end, great. But you need to make sure she doesn't find out at least, because sex is a very personal thing, especially when you are married and committed to one person.

3. Another thing that is very personal in a marriage, money.  Don't lie about it, the money belongs to you BOTH regardless of who makes it.  Nuff said

4.  Another time where you crossed the line (to your own admittance)!  What are you thinking dude? Why are you even talking to your ex still?  The pictures wouldn't have even happened if you were not talking to her, and you just said she was a bad memory.  Seems like an excuse. 

Also, you gotta remember when talk out your problems, that it's not what you say but how you say it.  Don't be sarcastic or roll your eyes.  I catch myself doing that sometimes with my wife (even though my words are appropriate) and it only makes things worse.  

 

Now on the other hand, it does seem like your wife has some issues herself.  I would suggest going to couples counseling and not sit around thinking the calender saying 2014 will magically make everything better like One Day says.  A counselor will be able to help you and your wife start in the right direction to a healthier marriage, and possibly get your wife some help with diagnosing a disorder (if there is one to diagnose).  

 

Best of luck to you and your wife on a healthier relationship. PM me if you need someone to talk to. 

 

Jesse

January 3, 2014
6:47 am
Avatar
onedaythiswillpass
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1134
Member Since:
January 18, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Jesse, I was being sarcastic.  Do you really think that this guy should be a husband?  Jesse, I was hoping that the poster would re-read what he wrote & see what a loser he is, not that magic would transpire.  When I read a post from a person that is obviously that disturbed, I simply cannot even fathom a reply.  Truly, I just cannot imagine that there is even a slice of truth in the post he wrote & if it is all true, I am nothing but mortified & terrified all at once.  As I said, quite simply speechless.

One Day

January 3, 2014
1:10 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 271
Member Since:
September 5, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

A total stranger claiming to be a young male stalking internet sites for victimized females & inviting them to private chats is beyond scary

Read the Full Page: Married Young, Afraid We Are Not Right For Each On The Long Run 
AllAboutCounseling.com

January 3, 2014
6:26 pm
Avatar
Undeadhusband
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
December 30, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

To think people come here to get help from you assholes. Say whatever you like i am a good man and you dipshits might want to try being considerate of other peoples problems.

January 3, 2014
6:31 pm
Avatar
Undeadhusband
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
December 30, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

To think people come here to get help from you assholes. Say whatever you like i am a good man and you dipshits might want to try being considerate of other peoples problems.

That was noth directed at jesse who seems to be a little considerate =] good day

January 3, 2014
8:05 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 271
Member Since:
September 5, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This is an example of how he talks to his wife. Frown

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110922
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714206
Newest Members:
Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39, RoyFollman, kevin021
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer