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Husband lied about degree/career
February 20, 2015
12:40 am
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pbrush
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February 20, 2015
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I am a newly wed (3.5 months) and just found out last night that my husband lied to me about being an engineer and having a college degree. It is really bothering me that he would lie about his life and I'm finding myself wondering what else he has lied about now. I've asked him about other things and a few other lies have surfaced too (he had always said he lived in NY during a certain time and had a great job being recruited to a college to work there but found out he was only in NY a few weeks because the job fell through and he never worked there). It just bothers me that he would even lie about this stuff to me.
We dated for a year and got married after only being engaged 3 months. I got pregnant right away but we lost the baby. As a fitness instructor, I was told to take time off after surgery. Well, he lost his job and I found us struggling finanically. I am going back to work full time soon, but was questioning why he wasn't seerching for engineering jobs again (thought that's what he was doing but found out he has worked as an engineering assistant). He instead took a job at a Rec/Outdoor store making a low hourly wage. I was so confused as to why he wasn't working up to his potential and told him and he just kept telling me that he didn't want an "office job" anymore. I understand this since I'm a fitness instructor and coach, so I just thought he was telling the truth. Well, i have a lot of friends that are engineers and they were offering him great job opportunities. Come to find out from one of them, my husbands creditentials weren't matching up. So I asked him point blank last night "are you an engineer or did you lie about this?" And he said he lied to impress me so I would date him. I askee why he would tell me before we got married and he said he didn't want to lose me. He's a great guy and has been there for me during the miscarriage and it wouldnt bother me at all if he worked at a rec store, but I feel tricked. I also feel embarrassed that my family and friends think he is something he is claiming to be and is not. I don't know what to do.
I'm thinking about leaving him because I want a marriage based on trust and I don't have any trust in him anymore. I also realize I'm at a low state right now so emotional anyway (we lost our baby 3 weeks ago). Any advice on how to get through this? My husband has said he is sorry but also gets mean and defensive as to why he did it. I asked if he was ever going to tell me and he said maybe eventually when he made something more of himself. I just don't see why he had to lie about his career to me and living in NY and a few other things too.

March 10, 2015
10:48 am
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jane150
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March 10, 2015
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pbrush said:

I am a newly wed (3.5 months) and just found out last night that my husband lied to me about being an engineer and having a college degree. It is really bothering me that he would lie about his life and I'm finding myself wondering what else he has lied about now. I've asked him about other things and a few other lies have surfaced too (he had always said he lived in NY during a certain time and had a great job being recruited to a college to work there but found out he was only in NY a few weeks because the job fell through and he never worked there). It just bothers me that he would even lie about this stuff to me.
We dated for a year and got married after only being engaged 3 months. I got pregnant right away but we lost the baby. As a fitness instructor, I was told to take time off after surgery. Well, he lost his job and I found us struggling finanically. I am going back to work full time soon, but was questioning why he wasn't seerching for engineering jobs again (thought that's what he was doing but found out he has worked as an engineering assistant). He instead took a job at a Rec/Outdoor store making a low hourly wage. I was so confused as to why he wasn't working up to his potential and told him and he just kept telling me that he didn't want an "office job" anymore. I understand this since I'm a fitness instructor and coach, so I just thought he was telling the truth. Well, i have a lot of friends that are engineers and they were offering him great job opportunities. Come to find out from one of them, my husbands creditentials weren't matching up. So I asked him point blank last night "are you an engineer or did you lie about this?" And he said he lied to impress me so I would date him. I askee why he would tell me before we got married and he said he didn't want to lose me. He's a great guy and has been there for me during the miscarriage and it wouldnt bother me at all if he worked at a rec store, but I feel tricked. I also feel embarrassed that my family and friends think he is something he is claiming to be and is not. I don't know what to do.
I'm thinking about leaving him because I want a marriage based on trust and I don't have any trust in him anymore. I also realize I'm at a low state right now so emotional anyway (we lost our baby 3 weeks ago). Any advice on how to get through this? My husband has said he is sorry but also gets mean and defensive as to why he did it. I asked if he was ever going to tell me and he said maybe eventually when he made something more of himself. I just don't see why he had to lie about his career to me and living in NY and a few other things too.


March 10, 2015
10:49 am
Avatar
jane150
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 65
Member Since:
March 10, 2015
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

pbrush said:

I am a newly wed (3.5 months) and just found out last night that my husband lied to me about being an engineer and having a college degree. It is really bothering me that he would lie about his life and I'm finding myself wondering what else he has lied about now. I've asked him about other things and a few other lies have surfaced too (he had always said he lived in NY during a certain time and had a great job being recruited to a college to work there but found out he was only in NY a few weeks because the job fell through and he never worked there). It just bothers me that he would even lie about this stuff to me.
We dated for a year and got married after only being engaged 3 months. I got pregnant right away but we lost the baby. As a fitness instructor, I was told to take time off after surgery. Well, he lost his job and I found us struggling finanically. I am going back to work full time soon, but was questioning why he wasn't seerching for engineering jobs again (thought that's what he was doing but found out he has worked as an engineering assistant). He instead took a job at a Rec/Outdoor store making a low hourly wage. I was so confused as to why he wasn't working up to his potential and told him and he just kept telling me that he didn't want an "office job" anymore. I understand this since I'm a fitness instructor and coach, so I just thought he was telling the truth. Well, i have a lot of friends that are engineers and they were offering him great job opportunities. Come to find out from one of them, my husbands creditentials weren't matching up. So I asked him point blank last night "are you an engineer or did you lie about this?" And he said he lied to impress me so I would date him. I askee why he would tell me before we got married and he said he didn't want to lose me. He's a great guy and has been there for me during the miscarriage and it wouldnt bother me at all if he worked at a rec store, but I feel tricked. I also feel embarrassed that my family and friends think he is something he is claiming to be and is not. I don't know what to do.
I'm thinking about leaving him because I want a marriage based on trust and I don't have any trust in him anymore. I also realize I'm at a low state right now so emotional anyway (we lost our baby 3 weeks ago). Any advice on how to get through this? My husband has said he is sorry but also gets mean and defensive as to why he did it. I asked if he was ever going to tell me and he said maybe eventually when he made something more of himself. I just don't see why he had to lie about his career to me and living in NY and a few other things too.


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