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husband is pressuring me to have sex with another man while he watches. need advice.
December 30, 2013
4:25 pm
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jlb12
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For the past few years my husband has been expressing to me that he wants to watch me have sex with another man. This is something I've told him repeatedly that I'm uncomfortable with and have no desire to do. Yet he continues to ask me to do it. Lately, he has become more persistent about it and even has withheld sex because i won't sleep with another man. It has gotten to the point that I feel like it's ruining our sex life. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I do it that it will ruin our marriage and make me resent him because I feel like I'm being forced into something I don't want to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

January 1, 2014
5:52 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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I would  contact a lawyer.  Find a place to stay that is not with this man who calls himself your husband.  I can't even fathom that you have stayed with this creature for any amount of time.  Since he cannot respect you as his wife, I think he should not have you as his wife.

 

Happy New Year

 

One Day

January 1, 2014
11:35 am
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No one can force you to do anything you don't want to do. You are with your husband because that is what you choose to do. Why do you choose to stay with him?

January 2, 2014
10:54 am
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jesseyoungs87
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Hey jlb12.  I created an account just to reply to your post.  In a mutual and loving relationship, this is not acceptable behavior.  In fact it's down right scary.  There is nothing wrong with him having that fantasy, but if you have flat out said no and he is withholding sex, something is wrong there.  I suggest doing what the previous poster said and contact a lawyer and get out of there.  Of course it's easier said than done because you have vested time in this man.  But in all honesty I would be worried that he might eventually physically force you to do it.  Maybe you can convince him to go to couples counseling and open his eyes, but please be careful and NEVER do anything you don't want to do, no compromise.  PM me if you need someone to talk to.  Be safe.

Jesse
January 3, 2014
12:33 pm
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Hey jib12 A total stranger claiming to be a young male stalking internet sites for victimized females & inviting them to private chats is beyond scary. Be safe. 

January 6, 2014
9:02 am
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BlueFire86
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If youve told your husband "NO MEANS NO" and he doesnt stop then theres definitely a problem. He should know you well enough to know by now, that what he asking for will NEVER HAPPEN. Tell him that his stupidity about this issue is honestly astonding and you cant believe after all this time that he wouldnt know you better by now to even ask such a thing. I think its sick, and you should consider packing your bags if he continues and doesnt let up at all.

January 7, 2014
4:33 pm
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jib it's your life and your body do and say whatever you see fit.

June 6, 2014
7:53 am
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sclose120
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jlb12 said:

For the past few years my husband has been expressing to me that he wants to watch me have sex with another man. This is something I've told him repeatedly that I'm uncomfortable with and have no desire to do. Yet he continues to ask me to do it. Lately, he has become more persistent about it and even has withheld sex because i won't sleep with another man. It has gotten to the point that I feel like it's ruining our sex life. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I do it that it will ruin our marriage and make me resent him because I feel like I'm being forced into something I don't want to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you


I know exactly what you are going through!!!! Have been trying to deal with it for 5 years.  It takes a toll on you emotionally. My hubby with held affection from me because I refused to have sex with strangers from websites. It has wore me down, broken me mentally, I feel unattractive and undesirable.  Please do not do what he wants unless it is what you want. Believe me there are terrible consequences if you do it for him.

I did it to please him. It was horrible and I have trust and other emotional issues due to my stupidity. He saw the way it made me feel but he still tries to pressure me into being with strangers. He shows me posts from sites of men looking for women, he shows me picutures of men, he has even sent private pictures I have sent to him to other men. He even told me if I trully loved him I would do what he wanted. He continues to tell me I don't take of his needs(daily). Makes me feel like a loser of a person and wife.

So, if you decide to do this, it will not be a one time thing. He will continue to pressure you to do it again and again. Love yourself!!!

Good luck!!!!

July 4, 2014
4:37 am
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tiffknee
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This is sexual addiction missed with no respect for women. He might have some closeted fantasies about being with a man himself. It really doesn't matter. You need to leave. What if this was one of your friends? What would you tell her? Best wishes.

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