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Husband in love with widowed wife of best friend
May 5, 2015
11:24 am
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clementineboian
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May 5, 2015
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Looking for advice on what to do!

My husband of 10 years seems to be going through a midlife crisis. His best friend died 4 months ago and he is now in love with his wife, whom he has know for 20 years. He announced to me a few days ago that he is in love with her and wants to leave his job, leave our marriage and move away to live with her. 
We have a 7 year old daughter together and have had a rocky marriage from time to time but a fabulous sex life, even now. 
His plan is to give 2 months notice on his job, stay here with us during that time and then move away to start his new life and return every other week to spend a few days with his daughter, who is the most important thing in his life. 
Both of us are super conscious of hurting our daughter as little as possible during this time and making the transition of marriage breakup as smooth as possible.
He has offered to look after us financially as much as he can, bearing in mind he will be unemployed, and that I remain in our apartment with our daughter for now.
I have listened to everything he said to me but feeling very numb and heartbroken. He is cold towards me (except when we have sex when he is loving, affectionate and considerate), generally uncommunicative and drinking more heavily than usual.
A part of me wants him to leave now rather than in 2 months, but I understand his reasons for try to make it as easy as we can for our daughter by going gradually. 
I feel that his constant presence will not allow me space to get over this but I also feel that maybe he is having his cake and eating it too by staying in our marital home and conveniently moving in with his new love as soon as his job finishes.
Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you.

 
May 5, 2015
7:02 pm
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krissypants
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April 26, 2015
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It sounds like he has thought his decision through. I am sorry to hear that, but he needs to leave now. When you make decisions like that known, you can't hang around it's too messy. I hope if you ask him to leave he can go to a friends house for a couple months, or even his new best friends wife.

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