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How to strike a fair work marriage-life balance
February 15, 2012
4:04 pm
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Fambondi
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Hi, I am new to this forum. I decided to join to share my experiences and challenges with you so that I can get some perspectives that could help me in my marriage. 

So my wife and I have been married for 7months now and so far it has been great. We are both very busy professionals and are currently in different countries doing work in our respective fields. We will be moving to a new country in 3 months where I am taking up a job offer and she has good chances of getting employment as well. 

The problem we are facing now, and one that could potentially crop up in the future is that the nature of my job requires that I travel around the world a lot. Often to remote places where it is unsafe for my family to accompany me. On several occaissions in the past, I have had to leave her and go to places where we could not keep in touch daily and this was very challenging for both of us. Now, I am in another country with better connectivity and we talk everyday. 

Today, she asked me to promise her that once we move in together, I will not leave her for longer than a month. In essence she wants me to quit my current job that requires me to travel a lot. The job I'm taking up will allow us to be together permanently, however occaissionally I may have to travel abroad for 2-4months. 

How do I strike a balance between this noble profession that I am engaged in and my marriage. We have no kids and I love her very much and I want to make this work out. 

Fambondi

February 16, 2012
4:59 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Fambondi,

well, I can see why your wife would ask you for what she did since she has already agreed to move to a different country to live with you and look for employment in the new place.  She has made an effort to keep the relationship together by compromising and so her asking for you to not be away for more than a month is not really an unreasonable request in my opinion.  If you cannot promise to keep her request, perhaps you can promise her that should you need to stay past one month eleswhere, that no matter how, you will find a way to send for her to be with you at your expense.  Of course for that to work, her job would need to be quite flexible.  Your problem is not large, but if you do not address it, it could very well destroy your relationship.  Somehow you must strike a balance in your life between your work and your personal life.  Both are equally important.

May 14, 2012
10:16 pm
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ZacThomas
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It's a
difficult task to have proper between work and family. Both are very
important and require proper attention. I am the same problem , please
suggest me what to do ?
May 15, 2012
8:20 am
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Tabbycat
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May 13, 2012
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Hi ZacThomas~

 I so hear you.  If you don't have a clear plan and commitment to maintaining balance, time and energy for family can erode and evaporate.  I'd like to share, if I may.  I recently got a promotion into a management position. I snapped it up, for the pay, but it required much more time than I was accustomed to putting in, expecially at first, getting to know the job, learning the ropes.  Gee whillikers, I didn't have the first idea of how much time it would consume!!!  Anywho, it took great effort on my part to not drop the ball on my family.  They are the most impootant to me.  It's totally up to you how to devise the best plan to create the balance between work and family.  Every family is different, with unique needs, but oh so important.   Let us know how it's going, our prayers will be with you.  Best of luck to you!! 

May 16, 2012
3:24 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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It may not be my place, but I just want to add that sometimes if you do not have a strong support network of extended family and or friends/neighbours & you have financial strains, that things can happen that you cannot control which can lead to you failing to be able to maintain a balance between your home and work life.  In the end, you will have to choose giving up a job to deal with certain unexpected tragic events no matter how good an employee you are or how much you enjoy your job.  A job or even a career should never in my opinion take precedence over a life or death matter within your family.  It's hard to explain unless you have actually experienced it, but it can happen.

 

One Day

May 31, 2012
9:29 pm
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ShiningLight
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Fambondi,

 

Try to ask and consult a marriage counselor for you concern. A counselor can guide and help you decide about what's good for your current situation. It's best that you and your wife should go counseling together. It's not the thought of choosing but doing the right decision that will make you both happy. If you really love that kind of job then I'm sure your wife will understand you as it can make you happy. As long as you assure her that everything will be fine and you'll both wo rk it out. And if by any chance, you still don't want to be away from her then looking for another job that's nearby is also great option. It might be best that you and your wife should talk about it and share your thoughts to each other.

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