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feeling stuck in my marriage
June 6, 2014
12:37 pm
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emmy8686
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June 6, 2014
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I'm so confused on life and find my self more and more depressed. I'm married 28 and he's 40 and the playboy type so I couldn't believe it when he wanted to get married well that was 7 months ago and I'm starting to Question things he may not see it but he's very emotionally abusive always bringing up my past, yes I have a little bit of a past but who doesn't ... as does he he has a huge past with things he won't even tell me which has always bothered me I feel like we should be a team. He can be the biggest sweetheart and yet I find myself walking on egg shells more times than not he'd prefer me not to have any friends because I should be focused on our future so there goes my Facebook or anything that connected me with friends back home. I'm at that point where I want my own family I've always wanted kids but I have a condition that makes it harder for me so the clock is ticking. I'm sorry if I'm all over the place I just want some advise on what to do. Hes very emotionally abusive always telling me I won't do better that I have it made with him and I need him to survive which I know is not true but I feel so beat down I sometimes wonder. Lately he's been extra secretive especially with his phone freaks out if I go near it which was never the case he swears he's not cheating he just wants his privacy which I get cause when we got together that's what I wanted but he would still go through my stuff even making it so our phones were linked including emails so he always knew what I was up to which was whatever to me cause I'm not the cheating type but for some reason he swears I am. Anther thing that bothers me to no end is he has a child which we pay child support for and he will not tell the mother about me or that he's married in fear shell do something which I know is crap since we pay he has every right to see his daughter. Another thing is the whole marriage all together I found out His ex wife from manyyy years ago filed the papers but never finished the final steps so there still technically married and I keep asking him to take care of it but there's always an excuse he's to tired from work or whatever it be and I express how it hurts me but it doesn't seem to faze him. We uses to be so in love now I'm lucky if we have sex every other week and if we do its me starting it and him using the excuse that he used to try and I would reject him which is true because I left for 3 weeks around Christmas time to figure out what I needed to do and when I came back he admitted to sleeping with a bunch of girls and he swears its OK cause when I was gone " I slept with a bunch if guys" which is sooo not true but its a losing battle so I leave it alone. I don't know if I should just throw in the towel I hate the thought of giving up but then he makes comments about who would want to be with anyone forever and that hurts so bad because when I got married I wanted it to be forever. I'm just so confused I don't work don't have any friends except for the neighbor down stairs I feel hopeless and so alone. Again thank you and sorry for being All over the place I just needed to rant and hear advise from other people

June 7, 2014
4:44 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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January 18, 2012
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Emmy,

bottom line: You are not happy.  Listen to what your heart is telling you.  You will find the answer.  Trust what you feel.

Keep writing to yourself or here, you will find out who you are & you will be strong enough to move forward.  Don't be scared.  You will be fine.  Stay with your yourself & your feelings.  Stop trying to make your partner accept or respect you.  Accept yourself & respect yourself.

 

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