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August 27, 2015
6:31 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
August 26, 2015
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My partner and I have been together for 8 years. We are your classic lesbian couple. She is an older butch female in her 50's. I am a fem in my 30's. About 2 years ago a young girl under 25 started working with her. I have never doubted my partners faithfulness until recently. Three years ago, I had a bad illness. Around that time, my partner stopped having sex with me. I was so medicated, I wasn't very interested myself. We went from having plenty of sex to none. She stated she had been raped by a man when she was 5. That the thought of sex, foreplay, even kissing feels dirty to her. I did not try to kiss her or ask for sex FOR THREE YEARS. I still have residue from my illness but am doing better. I'm interested in romance, kissing and making out. But my partner is not interested at all. She gets angry and yells "I can touch you, but I won't be present. I'd just be a robot."

I feel the coworker is to blame. A year ago, I noticed she was talking to this girl via messenger/ sms messages outside of work. She is a straight fem under 25. I objected. My partner became angry and yelled. My partner talks to this girl all day on messenger at work. This past April, this girl asked her to help her move. I asked my partner not to as she has a bad back. She did anyways. The girl asked her to help her buy a car. I didn't feel she should be car shopping w a coworker. She did anyways. I tagged along. Then I noticed, my partner was verbally playful with her. She never flirts with me, caresses me or is romantic because she is afraid I will want sex. I noticed they were side bumping each other and my partner was more affectionate with this coworker than she has been with me in years. When I commented about my discomfort regarding their closeness. My partner began daily erasing all of her text messages, messenger messages...... She pushed me away, was hard and cold. Then when she was drunk, she told me that this coworker knows her better than I do. She then worked overtime for 3 days in a row. The third day, staying until 12:20a.m. She only left because I showed up at her work to give her a ride home. She was very angry, called me crazy and psychotic. I asked her to stop all communications outside of work and to abort this relationship. She cried and stated the coworker wouldn't understand and I would have to tell her they could not be friends because of my "jealousy issues". She also threatened to break up with me because my allegations that something was going on between them sickened her. The girl has recently been broken up with by her boyfriend and has been loosing weight. When I commented about it (in their office) the girl moved her body in a flirtatious way. When I looked up, she was looking into my partners eyes and my partner was bright red. If this is platonic, why is my partner pushing me away, excluding me from the things she used to share with me and refusing to kiss, be romantic or make love?

Three years ago, my partner wanted to play games with me, spend time with me and planned romantic dinners. Now, when I try, she says I've become weird. She only wants to come home and watch TV. She used to want to eat dinner at the table. Now she just wants to watch TV.

How is it for 5 years we had great sex and now, nothing? She told me about her sexual abuse years ago. When we were having sex. She wrote me notes stating she enjoyed having sex with me and I was the best sex of her life. How is it now, her abuse is her excuse for not having sex with me????? When I wear lingerie, she isn't turned on. When I try to be romantic, she isn't turned on. When I try to make out or kiss, she says she has to feel it and she just doesn't. She says she would be happy if she never had sex again for the rest of her life.

My partners orgasms are emotional, not physical. She can be sexually fullfilled by being emotionallly fullfilled. I feel she can be playful with this girl because there is no sex. But if Im not getting sex I atleast want flirtation and playfulness. I feel gyped. Like I'm the third wheel in my own relationship. My partner was more concerned about her coworkers feelings than the fact that I felt I was being cheated on and she was having an emotional affair because of the way I'm excluded from her life and this coworker is included, in everything. On social media, I've posted romantic and funny comments. At most I get a thank you. She never post back to me. She says she has no time. But she posts to her coworkers account. Which I wouldn't care about, if I didn't feel like I was being ignored..............

I fell deeply inlove with my partner. I can't leave her. But I'm so unahappy. I can't even walk up to her and kiss her. I can't sit in her lap and make out. I can't roll over on a Saturday morning and have morning sex. How can I get her to be in love with me again???? How can I get her to have sex with me????

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