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Don't know what is going on in my head at this point. Advice greatly needed
December 11, 2013
9:01 pm
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rainman1012
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I've been married to my wife for about 2 months now and we recently found out we are expecting a child. The reason Im writing is because I don't know what's going on in my head and it's really bothering me. I feel like im lost and hopeless.

 

Just a little background...we were together for 2 years before I broke off the relationship. about a year later I rekindeled the relationship and asked her to marry me. Fast forward to October of this year and we got married. I found out on thanksgiving that we are expecting a child.

 

At first, I was very excited about the baby. Then I have no idea what happened. All of a sudden I am starting to become very irritated at my wife for anything. I am aggrivated at the lack of cleaning thats done around the house. She works 3 days a week as a nurse but is home 4 days while im only home on the weekends. I do my fair share of things around the house but she is a slob. Clothes all over the floor, messy bathroom, ect. Whenever I try to approch her about this it starts a fight and she tells me I dont help her. I feel like If i dont do anything around the house it wont get done. I have begun to notice a lot of inperfections and its really bugging me. It's an odd feeling for me. I feel like my life is just one boring little cycle. I come home and I feel trapt and bored. I don't feel happy to come home and see her like I used to. I'm not feeling the same way I used to about her. I don't know why but it's bothering me. 

 

There seems to be (in my opinion) a lack of sex in our relationship. She rarely wants to have sex and when she does it feels like I had to force her to do it. She always seems annoyed when we have sex like im forcing her to do so. Most of the time she just lays there with no emotion and just makes me feel so awkward. It is really frustrating. The constant rejection has gotten me to the point where I don't even bother to ask anymore. I dont have the desire to.

 

This part may seem really weird...just creepy maybe. I have been constantly day dreaming about Jennifer Lawrence since I saw the last hunger games movie. I think she is so beautilful and has a great personality and it honestly feels like Im in love with her. Again, I know it sound so odd but thats how I feel. I am constantly dreaming about how cool it would be to be with her. I feel like it would be so exciting, so much different than my life now. Obviuosly I know this will never happen. To me this is just a mask for what Im really feeling. At the age of 24 I have been wondering what it would be like to be single. More money, more freedom, less responsibility. The idea of taking weekend trips with my extra money I would have is very inticing. The idea of meeting other women and going on dates is very exciting to me. I have sort of regretting my decisons over the last year of getting married and now having a baby on the way. I feel like there is so much more to life that Im not getting to experience and it really bothers me. I sit and wonder if my life will always be this boring and routine and it bothers me.

 

I just would like to know if anyone has gone through this and how they got past it. Did I make a mistake? Im not sure. Just somebody please help.

December 12, 2013
4:48 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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A part of me does not want to respond.  Your story is very very typical.  I am sorry you got married as young as you did.  You cannot undo that part or the part that clearly sees that your future involves even more responsibility (a baby on the way).  Yes my friend a routine has begun & yes the party is over.  At least for a long while.  What you describe as your daily problems like chores being divided, lack of romance, mundane repetitive tasks, your thoughts changing about your wife, it's all perfectly normal.  Society raises us to do this thing called marriage & have a family, but it's not necessarily for everyone.  The stages of being married and staying married to the person with whom you shared vows is not an easy feat.  Your wife is going through hormonal changes, you are also becoming aware of how your life is totally different and very dull.  I do suggest marriage counseling, but I do not know if it will really help.  Your wife I regret to tell you, is not Jennifer Lawrence, but you did marry her and she is having your baby.  Jennifer Lawrence is not.  Maybe take some time to think about what brought you & your wife together?  Why did you break up with her and then go back to her and ask her to Marry you?

 

One Day

January 5, 2014
11:46 pm
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BlueFire86
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I have to say also, that this is very normal, but like the previous poster said here, you basically chose your path and now you have to take it. Its one thing to rush into getting married (and maybe not knowing that your wife was the way that she was house keeper wise) but to bring a life into the world that did not ask to be involved in this is just not fair.

I agree with the previous poster. Try to remember all the reasons WHY you got back together with your wife? and try to see those reasons in her everyday, and bring those out in her. Talk with her, get her to laugh, chances are if you try to get her in a good mood, she'll make more effort with things. Also cut her some slack, she IS after all PREGNANT, and it takes every ounce of her bodys energy to create and nourish that little life in her. This would definitely make ANY WOMAN, tired, moody, etc.

 

If you want, try to switch things up a bit with her if you can, do something you both can still do together that wont hurt the baby. cook together, go out and see a movie if shes up to it, etc. woman pay attention to all the little things and tend to recipricate more and more, and before you know it you may just start to get back more of the woman you remember from before. ; ) good luck friend.

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