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Controlling husband??
April 18, 2015
8:16 am
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lizzie123
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April 18, 2015
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My husband and I have only been married for 9 months. Over the last couple, he has become increasingly controlling and prone to anger and outbursts like he never had been before. He's always been so mild and sweet natured.
We go to church, but we aren't what I would call a "devout" couple. My husband does not pray or read his bible or do anything with the church other than attend service about half the time. He used to be very devout, but some bad experiences with our previous church really drew us away from being so strict about religion.
My husband has been saying a lot lately that he is "the head of the household" and has told me that ultimately my opinion must bow to his own superior wisdom in how things are done at our home. He has tried to make it a biblical argument and say that God has made him the leader and I am to submit to his authority. Needless to say, this isn't how I see it. I'm never dismissive of his little rants or rude, but I do tell him that I believe a husband and wife should make decisions together and agree. If I say our future children can't watch a certain movie and he says they can, I don't want him declaring that his authority it final and ultimately I don't matter. We've had disagreements about childrearing (I think he will be too strict and enforce to many spankings) and he ends the argument with saying the children will be raised how he wants them raised.
I'm feeling very discouraged and frightened for our future because he never used to be this way. He's become almost bipolar....he will explode and rant at me for three hours and the next day beg my forgiveness and say how wrong he was to get so upset. But then he does it again a week later. I feel like I can't trust him to value my emotions or opinions. I struggle with panic attacks and have them any time he shouts at me like that. I'm pregnant. I don't need to be weeping so hard and be under so much stress. And on top of that, I have to worry about this weird controlled issue he has had lately.
And sex. Oh my Lord. I have had a lower drive since becoming pregnant and he's wanted sex almost every day. He gets furious with me when I don't "get into it" and "let my passion out" (whatever that means). Sex is extremely painful for me and always has been. A year of painful sex has left me not really having a great desire for it. He never had so many outbursts until sex started becoming truly difficult for me. He can't accept that its how I am, and he gives me nothing in sex. No rubbing, no touching, no affection after he's done his part.
Is it a phase? Will he get better in time? What can I do to make him respect my opinions and view me as an equal? He usually does treat me as equal until a disagreement comes up. He's a good man, he really is. Its just when these moods strike him I have no clue what to do. I don't know who to ask for help.

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