
6:37 am

November 15, 2011

Hi my name is Summer, my husband and i have been together for 10 years, and married for 7, in the last 4 years, he has become very controlling, It started out with, accusing me of sleeping around, talking to other men, then went to if i spoke to a man he would get vey upset, now its all that and he has isolated me from family and friends, i cant go anywhere, without him knowing who im with, where im going, when will i be back, and i cant do anything alone, i have to have someone with me (he prefers it to be one of his family members), or he gets really upset.
He gets really upset if i do not answer his phone calls, then he assumed that i was with someone, And i cant take this any longer, he has pushed me so far away, that i dont love him anymore, im living a lie, he left me a couple of months ago, because i was talking to someone, i never slept with this guy, we became good friends, it gave me someone to talk to, cause i needed someone, and told him that he was making me feel like a prisoner in my own home, that i didnt love him, i was tired of it, so he left me, so about a month and a half later, i told him he could come back home, thought maybe that, that he might change, that he actually heard me that time, so all went well for two days, and it started again, and it hasnt stopped, so now i have met someone else, i have fallen in love with him, and i may or may not be pregnant with his child, i know that if i am, that the baby will belong to my lover, because my husband cant have kids, i need to know what to do about the whole situation, im afriad of my husband, and his reaction when i tell him that i maybe pregnant, im losing my mind, im going to go crazy if i dont do something about my marriage....HELP
10:52 pm

February 9, 2011

veryunhappy,
So sorry for what you have been through all this time. I guess your husband has the symptoms of being a codependent and it's already hard to prevent that kind of behavior. You might need to submit him to a CODA group or consult a certain counselor that specializes codependency so that your husband will be properly oriented about his condition and sooner or later he may be able to realize what he needs in order for him to overcome it. You are still inside the validity of your marriage so both of you should work it out. If you are really pregnant then so be it, a baby is always a blessing.
You just have to settle first your own relationship issues with your first husband before deciding having a new one. If you think you don't love him anymore and there are no more reasons for you to stay on that marriage then that's the time you decide, if you think that there is still something to save for your marriage then at least try to work it out.
Hope that helps. Wishing you well.
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