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8:58 pm
October 31, 2013
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Hey guys, I'm hoping u can help. I'm sure this questions has come up a lot but I have not found a good solution yet. Also this is the first time I have asked for marriage help from a forum before. I will try and be succinct though. My wife often tries to help me socially. An example would be when I am talking she will interrupt to me the person I am talking to is tired. She tells me later I missed that social cue. I admit I have never been the most socially adept person. But it does hurt a little hearing her say that to me. How do I respond in the moment and later in private? Do I tell her it hurts my feelings? Do I do what she says? Assuming the person is tired and they were giving off social cues? Not sure what to do, but it's getting harder for me to not feel hurt each time she says something. My plan so far has been to just not talk when we go out. But then she wonders why I'm so quiet. I know she doesn't do it to be mean. But just not sure how to react anymore. I am pretty socially inept, but not sure she is helping. Sometime I don't want to go places with her because I worry I will embarrass her. Also, we have been married 3 years and had our first kid 3 months ago. I'm sure that's aggravated things a little too. Thanks In advance for the advice. If nothing else writing it down helped a little.
Sincerely, S
6:52 am
December 20, 2011
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S,
People do get bored in conversations or they may just want
to move on. It’s a normal reaction when engaging in conversations. I have done the
same and have also been in conversations where I want to move on. I don’t see
it as a problem. Having your wife critique you, always looking over your
shoulder can be bothersome. You may not be as socially inept as you think and
your right your wife isn’t helping you out, although I think her intentions are
good. You need to sink and swim on your own. We can only fine tune our social
skills with others by continuing to engage in conversations. You find your
comfort zone. I am wondering why your wife feels it necessary to micro manage
you in these situations. As with most things in relationships this only gets resolved
by communicating to her your thoughts.
8:36 pm
February 9, 2011
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Tell her the truth about how you feel. Communication is a two-way process, it's not always about listening and absorbing what others speak about you but you but also you need to speak out as well and respond what's on your mind especially if you feel like you need to defend yourself from those kind of criticisms. If you think it's the right thing to do then go ahead and be confident enough to speak out.
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